the year that was... WOW!!

yeah, in a few hours from now, i say good-bye to 2005 and say hello to 2006 (which is also the year of the Dog, my YEAR!!!)

anyways, things were really unexpected this 2005... well, unexpected and expected... it's like i know it will happen, but i just don't know when it will happen... gets?

anyways... i wasn't expecting that i'll be having great friends, but the price of having them has an expiration date. though it's sad to know 'bout that, i still try to be close with some of them...

there's also the comeback of my best friend, yeah, it was May 25, 2005 that made me and my best friend (jax) friends again (yehey!!!)... and now, comparing it from the last time, i think our bonds are more stronger than ever... we trust each other and a lot more... (yeah, past is past, but still, in my head i still have some questions that i wanna asked him... but i guess the answers of those questions will come out when the right time comes... i really do not need it to push it... kusa din yang lalabas... right?)

and there's also the victory of my thesis... it was something challenging, yet i still got to kick-ass in my thesis... with the pressures and the gall-stone i have, it was a very tough time for me though... but with friends like jax, nina, my FA-family and mga ka-psychs... i was able to give my best... and thus, i gave my very best. yipee on that!! :P

oh yeah, before the whole me-&-my-best-friends-are-friends-again and the thesis-gig... there was the practicum i did during the summer... yeah it was something fun to experience.. it gave me the realization that i should look for a decent or good-paying job right after graduation... so a few months back, i tried-out for a call center job (but failed) and right now i tried-out also at starbucks (still waiting for the call from the store manager)... i guess, it's the time na rin to be more independent and be more on my own, financially and other aspects of living... to sum it up, nangangati na ako mag-trabaho. :P

... and my TV appearences... being a judge of the Philippine Lottery and a contestant at Pilipinas Game KNB?... it was a big fun to experience these things... :P

well, i guess that's for the positive-happy side of 2005... (oh yeah!! i forgot my Bday get-together... it was the best bday ever!!!)


the sad-negative part of 2005 were the following...

...there's my Ate Kay going to australia for good... though im really happy for her there, i still miss her... she helped me a lot on moving-on in my life...

and there's also the thing that happened last March 21, 2005... in which the FA-family left me drunk at Katipunan... though i have forgiven them, that doesn't mean i have forgotten about their immature acts... but yeah, i still love them and all, but still... masakit yung ginawa nila sa akin eh... and they know me naman eh... but hey, somehow, i should leave all sad-negative things that happened in 2005 on that year, right? it's gonna be a new year hours from now... so it's just water under the bridge...

oh... i forgot, well it's just a petty thing... but i think i should include the battle i loss in winning the heart of Isa Crespo... though we're civil and yeah we would chat sometimes, i still have feelings towards her (but not that much na...) but hey, i'll just let my pride and ego speak and say that it's her loss not mine (hehehe... blog ko nman ito eh, kaya being narcissistic here is normal)



yeah, im cool na rin with all the things that happened to me this 2005... i still learned a lot from it... and still learning from it...

so cheers to 2005... it was fun doing it!!! WOW!!!! :P

and now... welcome 2006... the year of the dog!!! and soon on May 2006 (aside from Da Vinci Code and X3)... i'll be 24 years old and hopefully gradurated from college... :P



HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! c",)

something new this coming 2006...

well, i just opened another blog... and this time, it is more theme-oriented than this blog... but i'll be starting to post on the new blog next year, w/c wud be around 2-3 days from now...

anyways, i'll put the link next time... or just check my profile page to know about it... anyways, i think that's it for now...

btw, im quite cool and good na rin... medyo lie-low lang ako right now... di na muna ako mangkukulit sa best friend ko... kasi baka naasar na siya sa akin eh... ayaw ko naman magalit siya sa akin... mahal ko yon eh... hehehe :P

neways... still... happy holidays!! :D

Dedma... (a.k.a. the song about my feelings)

Lagi Mo Na Lang Akong Dinededma
by:Rocksteddy

Matagal ko nang gustong malaman mo
Matagal ko nangg itinatago-tago 'to
Nahihiyang magsalita
At umuurong aking dila
Pwede bang bukas na
Ipagpaliban muna natin 'to

Dahil kumukuha lang ng tiyempo
Upang sabihin sa iyo

Mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang alam
Mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang ramdam
Mahal kita, kahit 'di mo na ako tinitignan
Mahal kita, kahit 'di mo lang alam, ohwoh..

Matagal ko ng gustong sabihin 'to
Matagal ko ng gustong aminin sa'yo
Sandali, eto na
At sasabihin ko na
Ngayon na, mamaya
O baka pwedeng bukas na

Dahil kumukuha lang ng buwelo
Upang sabihin sa iyo

Mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang alam
Mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang ramdam
Mahal kita, kahit 'di mo na ako tinitignan
Mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang alam, ohwoh..

Ngunit kumukuha lng ng tiyempo
Upang sbihin sa iyo

spoken:
Mahal kita pero di mo lang alam
Hindi mo alam kasi hindi mo naman ako tinitignan
Ayaw mo naman itanong sakin kasi baka nga naman hindi naman ikaw
At hindi ko rin naman sayo sasabihin kasi ayoko pa sa ngayon na manligaw
Mahal kita pero hindi nga lang halata
Hindi halata kasi wala naman akong ginagawa
Hindi ako kumikibo hindi ako nagsasalita WALA
Pero hindi ako TORPE
Hindi ko lang talaga masabi sayo ng harapan
Mahal kita pero dehins mo pa rin ramdam
Hindi mo ko titignan di rin kita titgnan
Lagi mo lang akong pakikiramdaman lagi rin kitang pakikiramdaman
At araw araw tayong magdededmahan
Hanggang sa tayo ay magkabistuhan
Pero ngayong malapit nang matapos ang kanta ko
Nais kong magkaalaman na
Nais kong ako na rin ang magsabi sayo ng harapan
Kasi alam kong doon din naman ang tuloy nyan
At dalawa din lang naman ang posibleng sagot dyan
Oo o hindi
Kaya eto na sasabihin ko na para matapos na
At hindi na magka-tsismisan pa
Sasabihin ko na para wala nang problema
At para hindi na rin kayong lahat nabibitin pa

Mahal kita, pero di mo lang alam
Mahal kita, pero di mo lang ramdam
Mahal kita, kahit di mo na ako tinitignan
Mahal kita, kahit lagi mo na lang akong dinededma

STOP!!!

i guess i have to stop it for good. i think that's the only way to really move on...

though it will be a difficulty to do it, i really have no other choices. i must stop it before it can create more damage to myself and to the people i love... so far, it already has taken some toll from the people i love... and i was just too naive and too scared to face my own monster(/s).

and it's not just stopping it, i have to cut it off so it won't come back again...

shit.

i really love these people, and it's gonna be difficult to loose them and not be in my life anymore... but i have to sacrifice them... for their sake and for mine as well.

ang lungkot nga lang isipin na kung kailan patapos na yung taon, doon din magtatapos yung mga pinagsamahan ng mga mahal ko... masakit talaga sa akin, pero wala akong magagawa, ayaw ko madamay sila...

it's really gonna be a difficult one for me this time... i hope there's an alternative way soon.


...though i really love what this year has brought me... i have outwitted the challenges i have faced, got to reunite friendships and was able to surpass what college has given me... and this March 2006, i'll be graudting na rin... it's just the past that keeps on bugging me and i just can't let it just ruin it again...

oh men... this sucks... really!

anyways, have to think it more deep... i wish there's an alternative soon, cuz i'll be needing it... i just don't wanna loose the people that i love.


hope for the best...

...when i can go and shoot myself?

can't think of a theme/title for this blog... although, there are a lot of thing in my mind right now...

anyways, i'll just blog about what happened to me yesterday... though today is still quite young, and i think things can still happen.

i was suppose to blog last night, but the driving from here at antipolo to tagaytay and vise-versa was really somthing to get treally tire off... plus the supper heavy traffic when we were going home... i cn't bloody believe it that i would run our vehicle on 2nd gear on the south super highway last night... ganun ka-traffic... sighs!!

anyways, yesterday, i though it's just those 'visit-a-relative-and-minggle-with-them' old routine... but yeah, it's the same ol' routine... but luckily, i saw an old classmate from my high school... ayon, kwentuhan and kamustahan with my other ol' high school friends and about thier current status in their own live... (even though my high school life was something not memorable and happy, there are notable-positive things that i do treasure about them...) anyways, got to catch up naman, which is cool... and somehow, yeah, i miss them too... (honest! walang plastic ito!! though sometimes, there's the thought of getting back at them, but hey! i believe in karma... i just hope kung kakarmahin na sila, i'll be on the audience sit to watch... hehehe :P )

ayon... good day na rin naman yesterday, 'cept for the freaking cold weather there... i never imagined that it would be that freaking cold at tagaytay...

anyways... ayon na muna... i have to fix my sked for this week... have to catch up na rin with my readings and homewarks, before classes starts next week tuesday... wish me luck...

laterz... c",)

Kinky Christmas... (down boy!!)

something kinky for the holiday season... hehehe!!!

(watch out for the "fireworks" on the 31st... hehehe) :P

laterz dudes & dudettes!!! Happy Holidays again!! c",)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Just ate a quite early christmas dinner (aka. Noche Buena)... and im quite full, i just hope it won't give me pain... i just really pray that no pain would come to me this season...

anyways, MERRY CHRISTMAS to all of you!!! c",)

Maligayang Pasko!!! Merry Christmas!!! Feliz Navidad!!!

How to survive this weekend (according to Zafra)

(December 24, 2005 /12:29pm)

anyways, it's Christmas eve right now... well, it's the afternoon of the Eve... and so far, i'm just surfing around... and yeah, i wanna put this link of Jessica Zafra's blog about what to do on this yuletide weekend... and i kinda like #3... though it fits my profile, cuz i cnt drink anything alcoholic right now..

3. If you don't feel like drinking, pretend to be drunk anyway. This gives you an excuse to tell people exactly what you think of them. (Unless you're already in the habit of telling people exactly what you think.) Afterwards, you can apologize and blame everything on the nefarious effects of alcohol.

anyways... i can say that christmas this year was a 'so-so' season... cuz there was the bad and the good... and the good over threw the bad... cuz yesterday, i got another cool gift from lloyd & nina... and it's a pinoy comix... it's Zsa-Zsa Zaturnah!!!

so far, i'm happy with the gifts i got from my closest friends (lloyd & nina) and from my best friend (jax)... i think im satisfied na rin with this season... c",)

oh well... MERRY CHRISTMAS to all!!!


laterz... :P

i don't feel christmas-y this year...

(December 22, 2005 / 8:50pm)

yeah, it's true... the spirit of christmas isn't working its mojos on me this year. though there are some times that i wanna feel the yuletide spirirt, but to no avail, it only last for a very short time. though i loved the gifts, well the gift i got from my best friend, and also the things i bought for myself... it's just different, very different from the past christmas i have before...

let me try and analyze it...

well, there's the not able to attend our ka-psychs x'mas get together... and there's the thing with my FA family (but i guess i really have to get myself out of that picture by now)... oh yeah, most of my friends sees me as a 'disability', due to my current health problem (RE: my gallstone)... and that 'disability' that they see on me makes them to decide not to invite me on their inumans and gimiks...

to be sarcastic... i am enjoying my new point of view about the yuletide season.

and to be frank about it... i sucks... and, yeah, i'm quite disappointed at them...

...good thing there's my best friend and my other close friends... thus to conclude, yeah, in a way there's the tiny bit of christmas spirit still inside me... thanks to them (RE: best friend & closest friends)


anyways, just on the brighter side... loosing weight gave me something to be proud of... got a new pair of pants, shoes... and some other stuff for myself... hehehe :P


i think that's it for the season... HAPPY HOLIDAYS to all of ya...


'cuz it may take a while for me to blog something next... cuz have to deal with these feelings i have for a certain individual (RE: previous blog entry) for a while right now... assess myself if i should try it or not... 'cuz supressing it makes me experience more pain and it could lead to being clinically depress... have to fix it at once...

oh well...


laterz!!!

I'm so tired... but still the feeling i have is still there...

(December 21, 2005 / 7:58pm)

yes, the feelings i have for this certain individual is still there... though it really kills me to know that i still have that feelings... and i don't know how to deal with it. (help!)

i'm also afraid that if i submit myself to the feelings i have, it's will have a domino effect and surely it can end up into something painful to both parties... but more painful to myself.

anyways, i wish time would some that i can say the feelings i have to this specific individual and somehow we will both understand our sides... and somehow there would have a good and happy resolution after.

anyways, it really bugs me, these feelings i have... it's been for months now... though it wasn't a biggie issue to me a year ago, but now it's somehow what's to get notice and taken seriously... i just pray for the right time and oppurtunity to tell the person my feelings about the individual...

anyways, so far, i'm still good... nuthin to worry about, except that (and life after college...)

i guess time will come... but i hope i can handle it, 'cuz the last time was really painful that almost made me clinically depressed...

oh, i guess that's it so far...


laterz... c",)

Something new for me...
(December 17, 2005 / 9:23pm)


i just got myself my own DVD player!!! (yey!)

though, things still are quite shaky right now... with the sliffles too... i'm cool na rin. just need to stay calm, relax and just have a clear thought.

by the way, christmas na rin ako... so i have two weeks of from school... have to catch up with my readings and really start to prep-up for school... kasama na rin yung other 3 subjects ko na may kulang pa... para by March 2006, i'll be graduating on time.

im good... just really have to have a clear way of thinking way through things.

i guess, that's for now...wish me the best.

laterz...

what a F*%king boring day... (what's worst is today is the last day of school for the year)
(December 16, 2005 / 3:43pm)

im bored right now... cuz of my stupid mom's decision to let me wait...

wait for nothing!!!

and it made me decide not to go to our ka-psychs x'mas party... nakaka-asar talaga nanay ko!!

oh well, 2mrw i'll buy a new dvd player... and this time, it's MY dvd player.

o cya... maya nlng uli.

still bored... hope things will be good 2mrw.

laterz. :P

Clips from X3
(December 12, 2005 / 9:14am)


well, after a few days of being mad... im now cool and so far a-ok. right now i'm still at home, cuz my class is still at 1pm later... and i think my best friend will spend a night here, he'll be using my Pc for his research-thing for school-something... anyways, nuthin' new much... except that if ever things went good 2mrw, i'll be going to Market-Market to get some pending comics there...

anyways, here are some pics from X3...


I think this scene is where they (Storm, Wolverine, Colossus, Rogue, Iceman & Shadowcat) came from a Danger Room session... anyhow, it's good to know that there are new mutants that have joined the group...

here's the Brotherhood of Mutants led by Magneto... and surprisingly, Jean Grey (Dark Phoenix) is one of the new members of the group...

galit (in english, anger)
(December 9, 2005 / 8:49pm)


oo, ako'y galit... umaga pa lang hindi na masaya ang araw ako. ngunit nung pumasok ako sa kalay ay sinubukan kong maging masaya. naging masaya nga ako, pero hindi sapat upang matanggal ang aking galit sa aking isipan.

kung nagtataka kayo kung saan ako galit... hindi saan... kanino. galit ako sa nanay ko. dahil sa kanyang walang kwentang letanya kanina umaga. wala sa lugar ang kanyang mga sinasabi. gusto ko sana siya sagutin, ngunit ayaw ko mabwiset ang araw ko... sa totoo, gustong gusto ko siyang barahin sa mga sinasabi niya kanina... kaso pinilit ko na lang ang sarili ko... tinimpis ko na lang ito... ngunit, parang di ko ito papalampasin... kung humirit muli siya bukas ng umaga, bahala na... ano man ang mangyari, isusulat ko na lang muli sa blog na ito bukas (o sa makalawa).

kahit nung sinundo ko siya kanina sa opisina, di ko pinapansin... lalo pang kanina nung nagdadasal kami... talagang galit ako.

kasi naman talaga, wala siyang karapatan mag-drama sa mga pinagsasabi niya... at sana sinuri niya muna ang sitwasyon kanina... nakakabwiset lang talaga ang nanay ko!!

putang ina niya talaga.



...ayon, naibuhos ko na ata yung nasa loobin ko tungkol sa aking galit sa araw na ito. sarap talagang barahin o sagutin ang mga sinasabi ng nanay ko kanina...

grrr!!!

o, cya... ito na muna sa araw na ito.


(i think this is good enough to vent off my anger... and typing it in my native tongue feels good... i think i should type in filipino more often...)

laterz...

i so happy!!! (cuz i just got to download the X3 trailer!)
(December 8, 2005 / 7:28pm)


i just got a copy of the 1st trailer of X3... now i'll just try to open it with something...

pero im so happy & excited!!

anyways... the day was quite good na rin... kasi i got to woke-up early a while ago for my job interview for starbucks at makati. though it went good, i hope when i call them 2mrw it's a good-good news for me... so that i cud contact one of the co-applicants i met there and buy the toys i want for collection. :P

then after the interview at makati, i commuted towards kalayaan... it was fun... kasi i get to travel fast and light going to school... though i hated the pants im wearing, cuz it's raining and its getting wet... sira tuloy yung pagka-semi formal ko... hehehe :p

then going home, i took a ride with jax then i was dropped off at the front gate of our house... then now... i just got the trailer of X3... whopee!! :P

lupet!! :P

anyways... gotta rest na muna... so far i have just ran out of adrenaline... hehehe :P

laterz... c",)

X3: The Last Stand (opens May 2006)
(December 6, 2005 / 8:20pm)


well... here's the first look of Kelsey Grammer as the Beast for X3:The Last Stand... though the title seems a give way that it's gonna be the last x-men flick ever (but i hope it's not true!!!)


anyways... below naman is a clip from the trailer... and a first glimpse of Angel too... :P

here's a clip from the teaser trailer... it's where angel unfolds his wings... and he's in a sort-of-a laboratory... i think the lady on the right is Dr. Kavita Rao... and i dnt know who is the guy on the left... anyways... i haven't downloaded the trailer, think a lot of people are downloading it... so i guess i'll give a fews days before i can rip it. :P

my war against my gall-stone...(the pain that i can't take it anymore)
(December 5, 2005 / 7:01pm)


well, last night i had another gall-stone attack... and the pain is getting worst than before... it really made me weak... and scared too.

there were times that i would really just want to pass-out just to not feel the pain, but i can't... the pain is really something i can't just ignore it. around 10:30pm last night it started, then i took the medicine to kill the pain, but to no avail... it gets more painful.

then i started to shout, because of the pain... im wishing that it would just be gone... im willing to go under the knife just to remove this stone that has been bothering me since i was finishing my thesis two months ago...

anyways, at around 1:30am, i was sent to the ER... just inject me with good pain-killers... first hospital that i was brought to was Amamng Rodriguez at marikina... it was a not-so-friendly ER... then my mom decided to bring me to Medical City's ER, for sure the doctors there will surely assists me... and it's true, once i was there, this nice doctor assisted me and in a way give me some anti-puking injections and the same painkiller i ingested when the pain started to attack me (but what the doctor gave me was the injectable version, so that it can work faster)...

that was aournd past 2am... 10-15minnutes later the pain went from heavy to light... and i thought i was out of the woods... i was wrong.

then at around 3am, the pain was getting to gets its revenge... and it's worst than before... i was screaming again... then my mom ask the doctor if i could get another and better pain-killer... then they gave me the ultimate pain-killer, demerol... it's the same thing that made me woozy when i was rushed at Capitol two months ago... it's strong enough that it made me sleep soundly. and the pain was gone.

at around 6am.. i woke up and pain was gone... thank god for that!!

right now... im eating no solid food right now... i have to go back to my strict-fruits-only diet for a week... just to avoid the pain again. then im planning to get an ultrasound within a week, just to check on my stone... whether it reduced its size or worst... but i hope it would be good news for me.

and when our family is financially stable... im planning to remove this thing... but things can still change... we might look for another way in removing it.

painful day... but im happy i have survived it. and oh yeah, during those painful ordeal, i miss my friends... though i got my strenght from my mom and sister during those times, i miss my friends too, cuz from them also i get my strenght too...

anyways... im cool na... just hope i can be healed as soon as possible... hope for the best for me.

laterz...

It happened again... and it's painful (though i hope this won't happen again days from now)
(December 2, 2005 / 1:06pm)


yesterday was my parent's anniversary... and there was a small feast, just between the family... then i ate.

then came night time... my abdomen area is starting to feel pain again... thus i drank the medicine that was prescribe to drink if ever i feel pain... and drunk the last camomile teabag... then i went to sleep...

the following day, at around 2:30am... i woke up with the pain reoccuring again... and this time, i know it's the same pain i had 2 months ago, with a little bit more painful by a notch... so i took another prescirbed medicine i took a few hours back... but to no avail, it somehow it didn't work... the pain was really fucking painful... then my parents assisted me to take the natural way of healing... in way, i was relieved by around 5:30am...

then i went to sleep... woke-up at around 10-ish... with some feezing feeling... though the pain is gone, i hope it won't return in a long time... and i hope my gall-stone is back to it's rest-mode... anyways, right now im good.

i just didn't went to school today... and yeah, my best friend is going some bday treat of one of our friends from high school, and he tried to make me tag-along... but i just declined it, without telling the reason why... i think it's better he doesn't know what i went through in the wee hours of the morning... don't want him to be concern of anything...

anyways... that's it for now... have to go back to square one of my diet... soup.

laterz... c",)

Now back to being a normal human being... (though i'll be missing my life as a celebrity... i hope i can join again next month...)
(November 30, 2005 / 9:42pm)


i didn't made it to the final four... and it's because of being mental blocked by nicole kidman... i should have watched starwars a few days back... nanghinayan talaga ako dun... but that didn't ruin my day... in fact, i had FUN!! it was a good experience joining the game... and if ever given a chance, i'll join again... given a months time.

oh well... here are some pictures that i have taken with some celebs before i left the ABS-CBN compound...

--o0o--

before i left ABS-CBN... i got the chance to have a pic with the cute Nikki Gil... she's somehow has the gf material (i think)... :P

anyways... laterz... im cool about it naman eh. c",)

while this one was with another PBB housemate... Hot-Mama Jenny... she's pretty. :D

here's a pic that was taken a while ago... it's me and PBB's Chx... though i wish its her without the clothes... hehehe :P

picture... PICTURE!!! (my 1st day of taping...)
(November 29, 2005 / 11:29pm)


eto ang malupet!!! me & asia agcaoili... one hot steaming babe!!! and she's very nice and down-to-earth... oh yeah baby!!!

me and this time with mariel rodriguez... too bad that time she has a very red left eye (ewww!)... but she's cool. c",)

me and toni gonzaga... as long as she doesn't talk, pwede na!! :P

...and my TV debut was delayed (but the P500 isn't bad enough)
(November 29, 2005 / 5:08am)


yesterday was something... i was @ ABS-CBN at around 12:30pm (ang aga!!) and then, the briefing and all the necessary thing to be prep-up was around 3pm... talk about more than 3 hours of BLAH!! though the time of not-doing-anything wasn't something bad, in fact i was able to get some pictures with some notable and pretty celebs, with the likes of Toni Gonzaga, Mariel Rodriguez and the sex-goddess Asia Agcaoili... who wouldn't be bored?!

anyways...i'll post the picture once i have emailed it.

unluckily, i wasn't able to be as part of the game, which will shown December 9,10 and 12... that means, i have to be back on wednesday afternoon for the December 13, 14 and 15 episodes. i do hope i could get in this time...and also win.

anyways, i got to meet some people during the breaks.... some of them i've met the day before, during the screening examination, they're really nice and good people... so yeah, may pseudo-barkada na yung new batch of players... and i kinda enjoyed it... though, it's sad that most of them got to play for the December 12 episode, i won't see then anymore on wednesday... pero we'll be txtng just to keep in touch. :P

so far i think that's it for now... and wednesday will be the next taping for me... and i hope this time, i could get in & win. :D


laterz... c",)

May Tama Ka!!! (part 2...)
(November 27, 2005 / 9:08pm)


i got there early and so far it went well.

...cuz i got in for the taping of Game KNB.

it's gonna be 2mrw... at 2pm... so i'll be bring 2 extra polo shirts too (just in case i win the first taping... and i hope i win)

in a way, im quite nervous right now... but quite relaxed na rin.

i really hope i win... one reason is that the pressure the people here at home throws at me... though i'll try not to make this thinking bother me 2mrw.

oh well... just wish me luck for 2mrw...

and i promise i won't go crazy over the game setting and the host... i'll really concentrate on winning and listen to the questions (and giving the right answer.)

Hope for the best for me 2mrw.

nyt & laterz... c",)


*though i took some pictures a while ago, i'll post them once i get to send them...

May Tama ka!!! (KHOOORECT!!)
(November 26, 2005 / 4:47pm)


how can i say this without ruining the suspence... who cares!! (it's my blog... being anti-climactic is part of my life)

anyways, here it goes... i'm gonna try-out to be a studio contestant for a TV game show 2mrw (sunday) @ 1pm. and the said TV game show is Game KNB, which is hosted by the very eccentric Kris Aquino. so 2mrw i hope i cud get in and win (i pary & hope that i get in and win).

there, i guess the suspence is gone... now let's go a few hours ago before the adrenaline rush happened.

at around 9am i turned off my cel-phone to charge it... then 2 hrs later, i tunred it on then i received a message that someone tried to get in... so called the number. it was from the people from the said TVgame show... and to my surprised, i was chosen to try-out if i have the guts to be their studio contestant... but the sad news was i nevered answered the call (cuz it was off then...stupid me!!) so that meant i lost my chances of playing. after i dropped the phone, i felt as if i fell off from a 100th storey building... how can i so stupid to turn off my celphone!?!

anyways... then a few minutes after (after the whining and being regretful of the acts) i decided to call them back... and acted out as if i didn't made the previous call (in tagalog, nag patay-malisya ako). thank god it's a different person who answered. so anyway i inquired who they are and what's the reason for their call... then my bad luck turned a 180 degree turn and my good luck was back... in a nutshell, i was in for their screening exam 2mrw.

then it followed by an adrenaline rush and later on a terrible headache... which right now is quite gone.

im so excited!!! i really hope i cud get in and hopefully win...

anyways... hope for the best for me 2mrw... (may balato kayo kung nakapasok ako at nanalo!! promise!!!)

oh well... what a good way to start my long weekend... it isn't that bad at all... it's better than going to a beach!!! :P

laterz... c",)

im not thankful that it's friday... worst, it's another long weekend (oh men!!)
(November 25, 2005 / 9:02pm)


it's friday and i'm not in love. well it's the allergy that i have right now. my head kinda aches, my nose is dripping like a broken faucet and i can't trust my decision... just like what happened a while ago.

well, it started when my speech class started... the sniffles have began to give me a hard time on concentrate on copying and participating in class. then after that i went to fully booked to get a book, which will be a gift for one of my friends. but during the trip, i kept on sneezing and sneezing... it's getting quite worst... then after i got the book, i went crazy and decided to go to DV... well even for a few minutes. so i went there, walked around. well the a gridline-vicinity within the LRT station, just to keep me familiar of what the place is like when me and my best friend go there this coming wednesday (and i hope that i'll have the money to buy the bag that im eyeing since my best friend showed it to me then). anyhow, i was just there for around 15-20 minutes... basically i did a recon of the place. then i went back to kalay, just in time for the org meeting.

before going back to school, the sniffles kinda lie-low... maybe becuase of my enthusiasm or excitement of DV (or something)... neways, during the trip back, it started to come back... i kept on sneezing and sneezing again.

then around 20 minutes, i was back at kalay... i was quite surprised that it took minutes and not hours of the travel... it's too ALIAS. anyhow, back in the meeting of our fabulous KPA... well during the meeting i was starting to get drowzy... it's a common effect when i have the sniffles... hay... the meeting went well, i just hope the plans would materialize too.

after the meeting, i hitched with my friend and was dropped at RP... when i was about to go down, my dad called telling me that sta.lucia (one of the malls there) was bombed... as i took off, i saw a lot of people who have a weird look at the said mall... though i was curious to find out what really happened, but the drowzy and sleepiness was making me go home. so i took a jeep home, though the jeep was a crazy ride, it didn't even shaken my drowziness, it made me more sleepy. <oh yeah, later on i found out through the news that it was just a bombscarce... they just found a fake bomb in the mall>

then i got home, fell on my bed and BAM!!! slept... til it was dinner time... that was an hour ago.

sniffles kinda gone, but still there... drowziness is now lighter than before...

so now i think i have finished my blog for the day.

and yeah, got to watch the last episode of Darna (my guilty-pleasure show)... which ended badly... but i'll miss that show though.

so today is a 'so-so' day after all.

i guess that is all for now. oh yeah, it's a start of another long weekend... and as of now, i don't know what's my plan... i guess chillin' out is an option. :P

laterz... c",)

SABBATICAL... i desperately need it!
(November 25, 2005 / 7:33am)


rest...

rest...

rest...


...i wish that four letter word is easy to get.

but noooo!!

<i'm guess it goes the same with the other four letter word... like LOVE>


oh well... REST...



i need to go sabbatical on this...

I just realized... i'm not really alone (but i still HATE them!!)
(November 22, 2005 / 11:02pm)


in my previous blog... i have mentioned that i have no friends.

i made a BIG (and terrible) mistake.

i do have friends...

it's not as much as i wish, but sufficient enough to love them.

they are the friends who also loves me for what i am.

though right now i have realized i really have to cut some people out of lives, because of my naivete... 'cuz they're one of the factors that pulls me down.

anyways... the rest that i have mentioned on my previous blog stays the same...

which means, i still HATE them!!!

oh well, gotta sleep and 2mrws a challenge.

wish me luck.

laterz...


*yeah, im good... no need to worry about me... i'm cool. c",)

what good did i do today? (confessions of an eccentic person)
(November 22, 2005 / 9:02pm)


as i am trying to type this blog, i was trying to remember what happened during this day...

so far it's the regular routine that i do during a school day.

wake up.

prep-up for school.

drive my mom to her office (this includes chatting with my mom during the ride).

go to school (and attend my classes).

hang-out with friends...

... hanging-out with friends... the questions that is running in my mind right now is... who are my friends?

there's the famous quote saying that... "show me who are your friends, and i can tell you what kind of a person you are." if this were true, then why am i like this?

a push-over. uto-uto. easy to fool (and any words / phrases that can suit me).

am i destined to be just on the agreeing party? even though i want to say my part, kahit walang mag-suporta sa akin? i don't know what's worst, to be a push-over or to be alone with nothing damn to give to people...

so far, since i started college i was blinded by a lot of things. blinded by the fact that people, even the closes ones are, in fact, very deceptive. and this blindness has turned into plain stupidity later on in my college life (RE: March 21, 2005 with israel, seth, eldon, denise, gato, jobi, ambok, tepay and the rest of the FA 'family').

yes, i am so stupid enough to trust people whom i considered as a family. this isn't the 1st time, there was high school, the people from victory, the FA people and it's somehow starting with my ka-psych family. though i learned from my mistakes, i believe in chances (di lang 2nd chances... to the nth chances). but why do i do the same mistake on trusting people, whom i see as friends, over and over again.

on regards of my friends... i want to say i have a lot of friends, but to be honest, i think i have none.

(i think this is one of my depressing blogs i ever typed... but im just being honest on what the facts has given me)

there... i got no friends. and i am depressed too.


well after hanging-out with 'friends'...

fetch my mom.

go home.

do homeworks (if there's any) or...

...sleep all the negative (and even the positive) feelings away.

then dawn will come the next day and the same routine.

...again and again.

this stops after i graduate this March 2006.

...i guess it's about time to throw out what i'm feeling towards them, since March 21, 2005... 'cuz it's been bugging me all the time. though forgiveness has already happened, forgetting their actions (though it's very different from what they said) is something i won't forget and want to get back at them.

i really hate them... HATE THEM!!!

but there's this thing inside me that keeps me telling not to give up on them...

so far, i can't decide what to do.

help me.

help me.

help...

...and it ended with nothing to have. (why i hate mondays without cash...)
(November 21, 2005 / 8:48pm)


i just really hate it when i can't use my own money for my own purposes. though sharing is good, but hey! i need my stuff too!!! why does it always like this in this household... it's one of the main reason why i can't really save up for my wants.

it really pisses me off... i can't wait to get in a job and start spending my money for myself. not the other way around, spending my money of things i don't need (like paying up the debt of my parents... it's suppose to be their problem, not mine)... hay buhay!!

anyways... i just hate it kasi it's the start of the week and wala na akong pera... may lakad pa naman kami ni jax sa wednesday... pero makakagawa pa ako ng paraan... worst case scenario, sasamahan ko na lang best friend ko.

oh well... nangyari na eh... i gave my last money to my dad for his wrong doings.

anyways... yon lang na muna.

laterz.

nothing inside my mind right now... (though there are things that i have to do before i sleep)
(November 20, 2005 / 7:03pm)


just got home from a pseudo-family trip... yeah, i guess going out with the family for something can be considered as bonding time for us... anyways, i still have no money, except for the one i saved for wednesday's pseudo-shopping with my best friend at 168 mall at DV.

oo nga pala, i still have to finish the hand-out for my hum2 report 2mrw... sighs!

so right now... idle lang yung mind ko right now... while typing this blog and sipping some of my tea.

hmm... by the way, lately i'm having this 'wanting for something' gig... and i dnt know what it is... but the only thing i know is that it is something physical... like sex... cuz it's been a while since i had it (three months to be exact... im like ross!!! what a geek am i?!?!)

sighs. am i that pathetic (and desperate)?!

i need someone!?! (though i like someone right now... but it's a very complicated thing to tackle it right now and i don't wanna get depressed again)

oh well, this is the effect of having an 'idle mind' mode... my other system goes off, while others are going wacky... blah!!

i guess, i have to push myself to finish the thing before i go cramming around again...

nyt.

laterz...

Back to my regular routine-2 (and people said having a sequel sucks... try watching X2! :P)
(November 20, 2005 / 9:42am)


anyways, i woke up a while ago, around 5 in the morning. it's quite weird, waking up that early on a sunday morning. in my case, i woke cuz i need to do a #2 at the johns... which i see as a good sign of releasing those negative energies at the start of the day and start with a lot of positive things.

anyhow, im doing my research for my group's report and after doing the research (w/c is cut-paste over the net), i'll start reading for my soc sci2 class about plato & aristotle...

yeah, im really back to my regular school routine... though in the future (5 or more years from now) i'll miss it, but in the distant-future (months from now) i won't...

anyways... im on light load this last sem of mine. kaya kakayanin ko ito. :P

oh well... have to go back to my research...

by the way, i've already submitted my resume at starbucks... i hope those guys from starbucks would give me a call na for an interview, ASAP sana... para maka-part time work na ako and start earning money for my own. (wish me luck!)

got to go back to research-mode...

laterz... c",)

It wasn't that "BAD" after all... (except for the baho-people who didn't showed up in the first day of that class... yipee for me!!)
(November 19, 2005 / 7:14pm)


yeah, today, saturday... i have class. my very last sem before i graduate (hopefully) i still have saturday morning class. and of all my classes, it's the elective one that goes to a saturday. though at first i didn't really liked the class that my adviser gave me during enrollment, the 1st meeting wasn't that bad (at all!!). the only thing that made that specific class not-so-good to me was some of my classmates there... particularly two of them. thank the higher powers that they didn't came and attended the 1st day... it would really have ruined my weekend. these two people whom im talking about are one of the baho-people whom we really hate. because their attutudes are really have a bad stench...

anyways... nuthin' bad really happened naman this day...

good thing nga eh... i got a new CD for free... got it at a radio station... galing nga yung complilation... im quite listening to it while typing this blog.

oh well... i guess that's my day... good-good.

laterz... c",)

What a day...!! (i wished that i had superpowers a while ago, just to get home)
(November 17, 2005 / 7:56pm)


it's so tiring... it's not the commuting part (well, yeah it can be considered too, but it ain't the issue) but more of having not able to go home properly becuase i didn't have the enough money to go home... yes, im broke in a way.

then while thinking a good strategy on going home, i wished im a mutant with superpowers like my favorite heroes, the X-Men (see picture below)...



then, i was quite lucky to see some coins while i was roaming around the mall (how desperate am i? but hey, im just trying to survive... who cares!!) thus i was able to go to RP to try my luck.

luckily, my best friend was going there and was going to be fetched at RP... well, my bad luck on going home turned out to be lucky at all. so i got to hitch with him going home. what a relief.

then, i guess that's my day for now.

this not include 2mrw's early drive of my parents to quiapo... but that's 2mrw's problem. not today.

anyways, im good and cool...

oh yeah... my blog yesterday... 'bout the dilemma... didn't bother me that much today... i'll just keep a positive perspective and i hope all things around me will fall into the right probable places.

think positive is the key... i think (but who cares!?!) :P

laterz... c",)

the downside of graduation... (and it makes me crazy every time i think of it!!)
(November 16, 2005 / 10:06pm)


this has been my dilemma since i got to spill-out what im feeling when i was given the PTAT projective test last sem... What will i do after i graudate? and Where will i go after i graduate?

yeah, i got good grade in my thesis and an option to continue is still there... and there are also the jobs im trying to get in if ever i want to start saving up for myself... but there's no solid plan yet...

now, it's really different from what i've been through since i was a student.

the routine is very different from before... and it kills me every time i think about it and even if im not thinking about it. 'cuz lately it just pops out unexpectedly on my face.

oh men... this sucks!! (totally!)

i hate this feeling.

and i don't know who to talk to with this... even when i texted my best friend about this a while ago, im not expecting anything from him (even if im wishing that he would give me some advice).

this really sucks... sighs!!

oh well... i guess time is still young (i think?)

bahala na si batman.

i just really HATE this fucking feeling!!!

parang im gonna loose a lot of my life... kasi di ko talaga alam kung ano ang mangyayari sa akin... oh men!!! ahhh!!! this is very stressful to me...

oh men... damn. i just really wish / hope for something good for me.

anyways, have to sleep for the night (this may help me get rid of this dilemma / feelings i have)

g'nyt.

laterz...


*who ever is listening, from above, or reading this... i need ur support. wish me luck.

Another allergy attack... (which is quite equivalent on having a bad day)
(November 16, 2005 / 5:41pm)


damn this allergy attack... my nose is dripping a lot of liquids, plus the sneezing are frequent. good thing i only had one subject a while ago...

then when i went to metrowalk to look for some dvds... though i didn't get any, cuz there aren't new pirated versions of good flicks... malas nga eh... nabahingan ko yung isang tindera dun... kakahiya nga eh.

anyways, when i got home... i slept... then after an hour i went out to fetch my mom... still my allergy is still giving me a tough time...but i got used to it naman... kaya i got home na rin safe and sound.

right now, ill just rest for a while and try to get some steam-inhalation just get this allergy out of my system... so 2mrw it won't be a hassle for me.

...it's really a bad day for when i get an allergy attack... it's hard to concentrate and do the stuff needed... but, oh well, there's always 2mrw.

o cya... pahinga na muna ko.

laterz... c",)

why can't i just graduate and have something to start on? (too much of an old routine can really make me wish i have something new in my life...)
(November 15, 2005 / 8:16pm)


the 2nd day of the sem... and somehow i want out... and it's not the subjects or even the classmates i have.

it's more on ME... i want out of all these things... just leave and start a new life (again)... it's not that i hate the situation... i just want a different perspective in life... like getting a job and start really earning money for my own.

i guess this is some-what of a dilema i had when i was given a PTAT during assessment classes in psych a sem ago... sighs.

plus the friendship between me and my best friend... i hope it's stronger and that we can withstand any turmoils that we face... i just really value and respect my best friend a lot. (i was a wreck then... and have learned to move-on... and i don't want things to repeat again)

anyways... that's it for now... the ZZZzz's are catching up to me... have to get some rest.

laterz... (but hey!! im ok... im good... i can survive it)

Back to my regular routine... (and somehow i won't miss this after i graduate)
(November 14, 2005 / 8:07pm)


it's the start of my classes after a month's break... it's another sem, and this time, it's gonna be my last sem of college life... yes, there's a big possibility that i'll be graduating by March 2006; thus graduating on time.

this sem, i have no more majors to take... all of the subjects i'm taking right now are just mere GE Subjects... though i know they're not that important anymore... but it's required by the higher council of education to finish all required GE Subjects in order to graduate, legally.

anyways, im back to my regular & stressful routine... wake-up -> drive my mom to her office -> go to school -> fetch my mom at her office -> go home and feel stressed out -> sleep. hay... i won't miss this when i graduate... for sure.

kanina nga lang, pauwi... mdyo masaya ako kasi i got to see my best friend again, though it's weird, kasi it was just last saturday na nagkita kami... mdyo kinakabahan nga lang ako... kasi i sent him something sa email... i hope he doesn't get mad and just understand it... and have a more stronger friendship... i just really hope for the best.

<yawn!> medyo pagod nga lang talaga ako... i guess... i have to take some ZZZzzz's na rin...

nyt!!

laterz...

to be a kid again, just for a moment can be so satisfying!! (this is not connected to experiencing the "second childhood" phenomenon...i'm not that desperate...yet)
(November 13, 2005 / 12:57pm)


i was suppose to blog these pix last night, kaso when i got home at around 6:30pm... i changed to my pambahay attire, then.... BAM!! i fell asleep on my bed... and i woke-up a while ago at 6:30am... talk about 12 hours of staying at la-la land. :P

anyways... yesterday, my best friend and i went to a pseudo-road trippin at different tiangges... and on our 2nd place, which was the new tiangge somewhere in Ortigas Center... i got to bump into some vintage stuff... very old yet cool stuff as i may say it.

and among those stuff are old Marvel trading cards... so me and best friend went on a frenzy and tried to choose the cool ones... as for me... i got the x-men cards... hehehe!!!

the one above are from the series 2 of X-Men trading card-set (The Sentinel card, the one on the left) and the other two card came from, what i can recall, the 4th or 5th series of Marvel Trading card-set (The Inferno and X-Men, the two from the middle to the right).

nostalgia ito men!!! WHOA!!!

it felt good to have those... "im a kid" moments... shows that you can still have those adrenaline rush. (hehehe!!)

anyways... yon na muna...

there's another set of cards i got... they are on the lower blog...(just the enrty-blog after this)

to be a kid again... (part 2)
(November 13, 2005 / 12:47pm)

well my all time favorite mutants are here... retro-style!!!

here's the other set i got from that said tiangge somewhere at the Ortigas Center (i'm not gonna do those shameless plugs)...

these cards came from the 2nd series of Marvel Trading card-set...



GRABE na ito!!

Nostalgia... anyways... maya na lang uli...


laterz... c",)

i know what i did last monday... (what was i thinking!?!)
(November 11, 2005 / 1:48pm)


well, here are some pix that i took last monday... during my job interview at convergys, commonwealth, QC.

well... this pic was taken after all the exams i've taken... this was time that i'm so drained... cuz i started the exam at around mid-11am and ended almost 3pm. that long... im just wondering if their HR department has any ideas that people tend to have stress or be drained if given a long time for the examination... i can't remember what's the term... basta, mapapagod yung tao, and it can affect the thinking of the person.

anyways... i didn't got in. cuz i failed the final test, the ordinate test, in which they test your pronouciation and accent of your english... i guess im still too indigenious for them. though i passed their Technical exam, which is one of the qualification to be their tech support.

oh well... but it's a good experience... it's like a sort of a-welcome-to-the- real-world-ur-rejected-to-a-job kinda thing.

kaso nga lang, ang tagal talaga... and for the money i guess people would give their time and try it out...

anyways... yon na muna... tonight, my best friend will stay here at home... kasi 2mrw gagala kami at magka-canvas ng mga x'mas gifts.

o cya... maya na lang uli.

laterz... c",)

this was during their Call Center Representative Simulation exam... it was really dragging... nakaka-windang... i just made a random clickings on the choices... but it was fun, though. :P

but seeing this pic... makes me see that i dnt fit in the call center rep business... it would just make me go BLAH!!!

luck isn't just your ally... it can also be your enemy (tough luck isn't it?)
(November 9, 2005 / 10:57pm)


today is quite something... well every day is something... there might be a common thing, being 'something'... but it's so different from each day i experience.

well, cut the deep mind set and back to what happened to me. (yes, this is my blog... so being narcissistic isn't a personality disorder in this blog)

today went with a yikes to a ye-ya-yey and to a sighs and lastly to a haaay... all of these came along with a moment. anyways... it started with a rush of worriness, with driving my mom to makati to settle with the bank people... then followed by driving her to her office at lunch time. i was suppose to go back home after i drove my mom to her office...

then i changed my mind.

went to my college to try to talk to the people at the office if i can cross-reg at UP for my elective. 'cuz to be honest, im having those 'gut-feeling' thing about the elective i took here at my college... kasi ang panget ko magsulat eh... trip ko na nga sana yung mga suggestions ng best friend ko eh... then my luck turned against me. di talaga ako pinayagan magcross-reg sa UP...

oh men... it sux! but in a way, my good-professor myra let me see the brigther side of things... though it wasn't that bright... it's more of a dim side of things. anyhow... i'll continue with what i took here at kalay... i just pray that this, or the even the other subjects, wouldn't be that much of a burden.

anyways... i wish that luck would be on my side this sem, 'til i graduate this march '06.

oh well... have to face it and kick its ass... then i survive. no buts. no excuses. just plain 'ol surviving. anyways, i think kakayanin ko 'to... ako pa! :P

o cya... maya na lang uli.

laterz... c",)

graduation awaits... (and somehow it feels weird to me... really weird)
(November 9, 2005 / 7:23am)


yesterday i got to go back to Kalayaan College for the registration for the upcoming 2nd sem. when i got in and went to the 1st procedure of the reg was check a list... and im on the graduating list.

graduating list... it's kinda weird... 'cuz somehow it tells me that im graduating on time.

anyways... just to give a more theme-able to this day's blog... i've attached my high school grad pic. (and during those times, high school, i thought i was fat...)

oh yeah... this barong that im wearing in the pic... it still actually fits on me... so i guess when graduation march starts next year (March or April 2006) i'll be able to save money for a formal attire.

oh well... i guess that's it for a while.

laterz... c",)

*i can't believe it that im really graduating na!!! (though im not sure if i got the right elective subject... it's Broad Comm 100... journalism subject... well, i guess there's no harm on trying it.)

and now... the double-chin is somehow gone... (yes, pumayat na ako)
(November 8, 2005 / 7:02am)




this was taken last month when the Psych-batch (or better known to me as the Ka-psych barkada) went to hang-out at Tiendesitas @ C-5... and somehow, we went to a trip and rode on a kalesa...

and look at me... no more double-chin and i lost almost 10 pounds... hehehe!! :P

again... the days when i was fat.




this was almost 2 years ago... it was during our Psych Dev't class in which we try and went back to our oral stage (freud's point of view)... and look at my chin... it's fat. those were the days when i was slobby and lazy to realize that i should be watchful on my health and be fit... hehehe :P

those were the fat days...

Those were the days... (when i was quite fat)




this was also 2 years ago... it was the first gig @ kalay... and the main attraction was having razorback playing there... this is me when i was fat... and this was the time when i'm trying to get to know better my not-so-friends ka-psych yet... which resulted on a very strong bonding right now...

those were the times... :P

LAUGH Trip (HA-Ha-ha!! ...deep down in my mind i was laughing out loud)
(November 7, 2005 / 7:31pm)


watta day it is for me...

the laugh trip basically started when i applied for a job at a call center somewhere at commonwealth, qc... i was a walk-in applicant... i wasn't really into this call center-fiasco... but i guess there's no harm in trying it.

then again, the laughter started with some of the people i saw, who were also trying to get their big break on landing a job there... i could sense and see their desperate attempt to get a job. <im not being a negativist or being harsh to them... i guess being there and seeing and experiencing it personally can give me justice and understand in someways the situation im in...>

anyways... i was there at around 9am and i ended there at around 3pm... nakaka-ngarag to be honest but i see it as just a laugh trip... kasi i tend to see the negative and laugh it na lang.

though i wasn't able to get the job... it's no biggie for me... yeah, the experience was something... something to laugh at and learn from it too.

basta... enjoy na rin 'tong araw ko.

i-add pa yung pseudo-hang out ng best friend ko dito sa house ko... i miss those days... sana maulit muli... pati yung mga sleep-overs namin... enjoy eh.

oh well... anyways, great-laughing day it was.

laterz... c",)

Tra-la-la (and again... my mind wants to be crazy and just do it!!)
(November 6, 2005 / 4:42pm)


i guess a lot in my head runs wildly lately... but it's hard to share it here in my blog. (one thing is that it's too many to put it in just one blog and some people in my life kinda knows my blog at baka ma-miss understand nila yung utak ko...)

anyways... my head runs very wildly right now... or it's been, what?, it's been running wild since sem break started... maybe it's those things that my body wants, an adrenaline rush... kaso magastos to go somewhere and do somewhere wild... like bungee-jump or jump off a cliff... sighs... i want some adventure... i miss my old days in which nag-bungee jump ako, road a rollercoaster... i need an adrenaline rush!!!

hay buhay... anyways, this week naman is gonna be my last week of my last sembreak... and yeah, registration na rin namin... plus i'll try-out to apply as a tech-support for a call center @ somewhere in QC... anyways, wish me luck.

i guess dito na muna... maya nlng uli.

laterz... c",)

truth about life... and somehow it kinda stinks!!
(November 5, 2005 / 11:24pm)


i was suppose to blog the thing i've done for the past two days (yesterday & today)... about how much fun i had during my chillin'-out session at the beach we, the family, stayed... but i guess it's true what i've learned from my life's unfair concept... that there's always ups and there's always downs... yeah, i was having a blast at the beach, but somewhere others are having a tough time on their lives...

life stinks... though there are moments that the 'ups' can outwit the 'downs'... but reality check will somehow be there to show how life really stinks... (napaka-negetivist ko ba about life, hey... i'm just being realistic... sometimes, we have to step out of our fantasies to move on and realize that we are in shit-pit...)

anyways, the brighter side of all things... it is somehow related to Darwin's theory, in which survival is a key. yeah, if we manage to survive the stench of what life gives everyday, i can give us the advantage to survive and be more immune to what we can face in the future (and yeah.. it's weird, but somehow it's a learning processed day-by-day...)

anyways, just something to remind me too... just take one step at a time... di sa nagmamayabang, i have survived a lot of turmoils... but sometimes, i have to check on my stat now & then... baka kasi ma-back to sqaure one ako eh...

oh well... life's lessons really aren't that hard... complicated nga lang paminsan-minsan.

laterz...

it's weird... but it felt so good.
(November 3, 2005 / 8:51am)


hay naku, there really are things that i wasn't to expect to happen... but come to think about it, it's good it happened. i think it's part of my-so-called-life (my gulay! am i having those claire danes moment... it has been a while since i have those moments... now im thinking, when will my dawson creek or felicity moments be coming back to me... too much teen drama, have to get rid of it sometime)

anyways, 2mrw is the day that i'll be chillin' out sa beach... Woothoo!!! i can't wait for it.

it's kinda weird, kasi it's a family affair...'cuz it's been a while na lumabas kami... yeah, i know it will be something good na rin... family bond stuff... anyways... basta this weekend, forget the stresses of life and just relax and rest and just be with the ocean and the wind... that's the life. (and if u add a little bit of achieving nirvana... my life's work is done and i could die happy.)

neways... yon na muna...

yeah, if you're thinkin'... i'm cool and good about the things that happens to me kahit it's weird... cuz it felt good. :P life's something nga... :D

laterz... c",)

Beach-mode is in the air... (I can't f*&king wait to go for some R & R this weekend!)
(November 1, 2005 / 11:24pm)


yeah, i'm going to the BEACH (and it's not the BITCH...hehehe) this coming weekend!! kahit may kasamang kaibigan o wala, i'll spend it to relax and rest... plus try to bring a good (but not that big) book to read sa tabing-dagat...

oh paradise... here i come.

i cnt wait na... anyways, i'll try to swim, but i'll avoid getting some sunburns or darken my skin (arte ba? hehehe!!) basta... i'll enjoy this short rest mode before i go back to reality on the days that will follow, kasama na yung finishing the remaining SA hours and the enrollment.

beach... baby!!! :D

oh well... yon na muna... cge, tutlog na muna ako.

nyt.

laterz... c",)

Happy O' Hallow's Eve!!!
(October 31, 2005 / 10:16am)




*even though i know it's morning right now, and im posting this greet... who cares!!

Have a Haunting (or not) Halloween night!!

laterz!!!

Someone's gonna have a visit from the Stork, nine months from now...
(October 30, 2005 / 9:07pm)

...yupyup. it's ate kay!!!

im quite happy for her and her husband, pedro. i think it's about time na rin that they have a kid. their a young, financially stable, bright couple... i hope for the best for them and the upcoming baby.

anyways, here's a pic of us with the couple (they're on the left side of the picture). this was taken last May when we went to tagaytay for the pseudo-wedding for them (sponsored by us, the Psych batch)...


hay naku... miss ko na si ate kay. well, i think it's about time na 'mommy' kay na rin ang tawag ko sa kanya.

anyways... i hope for the best for them.

o cya... maya na lang uli.

laterz... c",)

Can't think of a theme or title right now... (oh well, guess that's a good theme or title)
(October 30, 2005 / 9:09am)

just got home yesterday afternoon. i was planning to blog it last night, but the ZZzz's caugth me by surprise.

anyways, yesterday and the day before that was quite fun. hanged-out with my ka-psychs, spent a night with my best friend... got to catch-up with movies that i missed and (yeah) hanged-out with my best friend.

i still have no money right now... and having to do cheap thrills right now is still na 'no-no', anyways, my mom mentioned to me last night that we're goin to the beach next weekend... i wish it would push through... in a way, im craving for some R&R at the beach... just chill out, listen to good music (preferably chill-out ones... so that means i have to buy some new cds, chill-out/neo-ethnics genre... gastos ba ito?!) plus, i think this family-friend who invited us to their beach is, somehow, knows my best friend's family. add to that, my best friends family also has plans to go to the beach this coming weekend too... hmm... sana nga matuloy... :P

hay... medyo boring nga ngayon... i pero sana lumabas kami maya, like buy some candles, flowers for our dead relatives. kasi baka tonight or 2mrw kami pupunta sa sementeryo to just hang-out there... cuz it's undas season again. it's the season where the cementery is the place to be. :P

oh well... maya na lang uli...

laterz... c",)

another pet... and this time, it's wild!! (whoa!)
(October 27, 2005 / 6:40pm)

well... here's another pet i got... his name is Stryps... the tiger...

adopt your own virtual pet!

yes... it's green... anak siya ni Battle-Cat... (yung pet ni He-Man... from the 80's)


anyways... 2mrw i'll be spending a night with my best friend... hang-out, dvd marathon... just have fun there... yon lng naman...

while 2mrw afternoon ay lunch out with my ka-psychs... yon lng so far.

anyways... uli... maya nlng uli.

laterz... :P

My new pet PENGS!!!
(October 27, 2005 / 5:11pm)

adopt your own virtual pet!

hey hey!!

here's my new blog-pet Pengs the Penguin... try using ur mouse-pointer to interact with him...

enjoy!!

laterz... c",)

It's been a while but hey... di ko na mapigil sarili ko.
(October 26, 2005 / 8:55pm)


it's been a while since nag-blog ako... pero ok lng. anyways... naggala kami ng best friend ko kanina for sum dvds... tapos checked something sa greenhills. then tambay lang muna sa bahay niya...

then i'll be staying at his place over the night this friday... wala lng... just hang-out <to be honest, happy ako... kasi wala lng... c",)>

anyways... wala naman nangyari sa akin lately... tamad-mode ako eh.

so far, yon lng.

laterz...

MY LAST BLOG ('til i get another prepaid internet card again...)
(October 23, 2005 / 10:04pm)


well, time runs fast... so i have to this fast... before i ran up of time sa prepaid internet card ko...

anyways... im broke, nuthin' to do... and there are things i want to do... but i can't kasi wala akong pera!!!

this sucks.

sna naman i cud buy a card na 2mrw...

oh well... bahala na si batman dun... but i hope for some money...

anyways... yon lng... chil-out mode pa rin naman ako eh...

laterz nlng...

Nakakainis ang ganitong buha-haaaay... (nae-LSS na naman uli ako)
(October 23, 2005 / 8:20am)

it's unfair... it's sembreak and i have no solid-major plans... so far, bum-mode ako 'tong bakasyon... buti naman at nakaligo ako kahapon, kasi im almost a level-near on becoming a taong-grasa... anyways, tamad-mode pa rin ako... and the main reason is, i have no money.

so far, the money in my ATM isn't mine (dammit!)

the next money that i'll get is again on the 13th of next month, which still quite far from now... i don't know why, but when i got the PS2, im suppose to be excited and be drowned by it... it's weird, kasi im not drowned by it and somehow nawal yung excitement... i guess it still has to do with the residual (latak) stresses from last sem. parang lumalabas they had the last laugh, making me all weary and tired... bwiset!!

anyways, here's are my 'pseudo' plans to hopefully accomplish this sem break:
-buy new CDs (james blunt, neo-ethic sounds, mojo-fly cd, the new Jam 88.3 cd)
-get the pending comics i have @ CATS Market-Market (Astonishing X-Men Vol 2, New X-Men: Hellions, Dark Phoenix Saga all of these are TPB)
-hang-out with my best friend (movie marathon, pizza, buy dvds, whatever happens basta mag-enjoy!)
-food trip @ Masuki with my Ka-psychs (after getting the class cards)
-hopefully start my work-out again (kung may pera go back to boxing, kung walang pera kahit walking-jogging work-out uli)
-sana matuloy yung plano na mag-HK yung kuya, para makasama ako (a big hopeful on that, yet im not expecting anything yet, bahala na si batman dun)
-Spa, massage... just to fully charge me up (im hoping to do this before classes starts on the 14th)
-at least finish reading 1/2 of angels & demons

...and if all or most (or some) fails, there's always PLAN B: chil-out mode. (aka. tamad-mode, taong-grasa-mode)

the only main problem here naman, to accomplish most or all of thes plans is to have the sufficient enumeration ('financial back-up' or money to more specific)... which right now i don't have.

oh well... wait and see na nga muna... pero if all things for this coming week goes good, i might be staying over-night at my best friend's house to hang-out (i guess that's one plan that can possibly materialize)

anyways, i think iyon na muna...

laterz... c",)

Rage Within Tranquility (and it ain't no fair man...!)
(October 22, 2005 / 5:26pm)

i think i did the right thing... being honest.

it's been a while since i was honest enough to tell the truth... im talking about telling my best friend that i've seen & read his blog... though i promised myself before not to tell him and the things that i've read about his blog will die with me...i guess i did the right thing.

ngunit, i somehow felt that it's none of my business that i read his blog in the first place... kasi it's his thoughts... and his thoughts are private... oh no... <bro if ever you read this... im telling you again, im really sorry that i snoop around... i have no bad intentions of doing it... sorry talaga>

anyways... im good right now... nothing to do, so far... chillin' lang dito sa house... <hibernation is not an option too>...

o cya, maya na lang ata... may mga bisita pala kami dito sa house eh... may padasal ang inay ko dito... i guess faith can give hope to people, even to me.

laterz... :)

What I've Learned from reading Da Vinci Code
(October 21, 2005 / 4:30pm)

kaninang madaling araw, at exactly 1:25am, i've finally finished reading Dan Brown's famouse book, the Da Vinci Code. the story revolves about a symbologist (Robert Langdon) and a young cryptologist (Sophie Neveu) discovering the secret of the Bloodline of Jesus and Mary Magdalene <it tells us that Jesus is just a mere human who had an intimate relationship with Mary Magdalene>. The author (Brown) made it clear in the start of the story that the artifacts, secret documents, the secret society (Priory of Sion) are real. <talk about a total conspracy?>

anyways, the book basically focus on the forgotten role of females in society (from the start of it)... it was good approach... seeing it that females then were are as discriminate before, though they are more powerful than men.

i think it gave me a thought... are men so tricky and afriad to admit that the powerful sex is indeed female? scientifically speaking, we came from XX chromosomes at the begining of ones life, thus i think, yon palang, proves that women dominates na.

suddenly it reminded me the research-approach taught by my pseudo-good professor garces-bacsal... to be more of a femenist in approaching ones research.

to be honest, i am a femenist... i respect women to certain levels that men cannot be <though men think they can... even i admit to that>.

anyways, i know this quite late... but i recommend to the public to read this book... it's fast-paced... and it gives the reader a "whoa!" every chapter. an i also suggest that read this before the movie comes out next year... but for your info (but i think this is also old news to most) Langdon is played by Tom Hanks, which at first i was doubting he can, but after reading the book i can see him doing a great Langdon. and Sir Ian McKellen (aka Magneto) will be playing Bishop Aringarosa, i guess seeing him as the master of magnetism down to a very stong bishop has its benefit... <when i was reading the book, i imagine that the bishop was wearing magneto's helmet, making him some weird dominating priest who wants something beneficial>...

oh well, i guess who can tell... but im guessing that the movie can be something to watch. i'll watch it once it open to theaters... sana nga lang walng cuts. :P

anyways, natanggal ko na rin yung plastic cover ng Angels & Demons, it is the prequel to Da Vinci Code... i hope i cud finish this before classes starts or during the x'mas break (the most).

o cya... yon na muna...

laterz... c",)


(i scanned this one to show that i have an illustrated version of the book... how narcissistic am i?)

"tree pretty... fire bad..." (idle minds go to sleep)
(October 20, 2005 / 6:13pm)

so far i slept all day... i guess im trying to get the energy na nawala sa akin from last sem... all the stresses i've been through, i guess kasama na rin yung mga inis ko lately to some people.

i guess i need more sleep then.

anyways, i'm good... ngayon lang nag-sink in na sem break na... kaso, im bugged na baka it one hell of a sem break uli, in which tamad ako most of my break... why cn't i be like those people in TV when they're on spring break (or similar to a sem break) they would go to beaches, or party hard and get laid... i guess, reality offers differently compared to what TV promotes... but i think i can compose something similar to that, especially of the getting laid part (hehehehe!)

oh well... i just love when my brain goes idle... nothing to think, nothing academically to think of... total blankness... sounds fun (i hope).

oh yeah, im planning to do RA work again this coming sem break... yeah, it will be for the last time... (do i really have to be senti right now?) o cya, kasi graduating na ako... hehehe!! :P

anyways... yon na muna.

laterz... c",)

It's an End... and also a Begining for something different (i think...)
(October 19, 2005 / 8:22pm)

well, officially my last 1st sem ends. SEMBREAK na!!! (whohoo!!) it ended with our Hum1 presentation kaninang around 6:30pm... hay, salamat...

come to think of it... this is my last sembreak before i graduate next sem... bilis ng panahon... so far, i decided to seize the moment and try to be the best i can be before i leave the premises of my college... aka, magkakalat na ako... hehehe (ooopss!!) :P

hay... medyo pagod na rin ako ngayon... parang literally im gonna need a break from all i've been through... and i hope matuloy ako sa pagpunta sa hong kong this end of october... I REALLY HOPE SO!!! para i could really get some rest and shop things for me-me-ME!!! (plus baka dun na rin ako mag-pseudo x'mas shopping for my friends & loved ones)

oh well... im tired from the presentation... papahinga na muna ako.

laterz... c",)

RANT blog... just to blow off some steam.
(October 18, 2005 / 9:50pm)

as i said a while ago sa previous blog ko... im pissed at my psych prof (Rhoda Myra Garces-Bacsal, Ph.D. candidate).

i am pissed, kasi ang labo niya. sobrang nakakangarag ang mga gawain niya. and she's something you learned to hate later on.

yeah, maybe i'm just really pissed off right now and later on i'll regret what i've wrote and cool down... but right now, im pissed...

ang labo niya talaga... and for someone of her mind, would see it nman...

i don't care about the assessment... though it seems it's connected to this rant... basta, kakabwiset lang siya lately...

dati i respect a lot for the way she teaches, being a good adviser, being a nice prof and i saw how she is dedicated to her field... but then there was her flaws... yeah, somehow i was blinded by her achievements that i disregard her flaws... anyways, i was somehow fooled (yet right now i wish i am wrong)...

now i can't decide on what to do after my graduation... kasi she's one of the reason that made me look forward to pursue a clinical perspectivwe of psych... then i saw the light (or what it is left of the light she's hiding from us). sighs.

oh well... i guess it's just i'm really pissed off sa kanya... true i expected more from her...

hay buhay... this sucks.

i guess i have ranted off na the thing i want to rant about my prof...

i guess right now, after i log-off... cool down na...

and hopefully later on... future-wise... something to laugh off na lang itong blog ko.

laterz...

tamad-mode... and it seems gonna stay here for a while.
(October 18, 2005 / 7:30pm)

yeah, bored sessions are quite present here right now.

somehow it has to do with being 2mrw as my official last day of class... and sembreak follows. thus makes it open for boredomness and laziness.

yeah, somehow nahimas-masan na ako about the thing i learned yesterday. anyways, im good na uli... and im human enough to accept that there still times that i might encounter that thing again... but who cares... past na sya eh. hehehe

hay buhay... nakakatamad, pero ok rin naman...

oo nga 'no... im also pissed off towards one of my psych prof, the one whom i respect the most... somehow, i got to see something and made me realize that people are indeed imperfect. yeah, i know mdyo nabighani ako sa abilidad niya, no doubt it gave me some kick of inspiration but it's quite weird to know that the person who i admire was a floop too... makes me think about the world being one dumb-ass population though... but hey, we're not flawless as other may see.

oh well... o cya... rest na muna ako.

laterz

*Books?! Reading?! Run for your lives!!
(October 17, 2005 / 9:49pm)

*i got this line from Jessica Zafra's blog... kinda fits the season... sem break.

somehow, sembreak-mode na ako... kahit di pa tapos yung finals ko... well, play na lang sa Hum 1... which will be on wednesday night... kaya 2mrw, double-time sa practice.

anyways... kanina, nakaka-baliw... kasi i just found out na isa has a boyfriend na... and well, yeah, classmate ko in some of my GE class, nice guy naman siya (well, di ko naman siya kilala that well, but i think he's a good guy)... but that isn't the thing... MAY BOYFRIEND NA SI ISA!!! that's the thing!! yeah, in 'some way' im over with my crush towards her... but seeing her all the time makes me feel... something special... don't get me wrong, im not a stalker-type person... but i get to be inspired by her... her face alone has an angelic aura, with a mix of malice. basta, it hit me when i found out kanina...

life sux!! (no doubt about it...)

...but hey. i still like her though... but i guess it somehow a reality check for me din...

oh well... im still single... and somehow there's the pros and cons of being sinlge for a while... im not like other people whom i know hates being single... ako. im just waiting for the right time... kasi, there's a lot of things to do while being single. kaya im still enjoying my single life.

anyways... i think im cool with it na rin with the sad news... but i guess moving on won't be an option... i have to.

hay buhay... idaan na lang sa tawa... hahaha!! :P

oh well... maya na lang uli.

laterz... c",)

back to Reality... and somehow, it Bites.
(October 17, 2005 / 9:50am)

later in while, i'll be prepping up to go to school... yeah, di pa ako sembreak... kasi may play pa ako ipre-present for hum 1 class... it's somehow a final exam of it... in some variation.

anyways, i have to... kasi nakakahiya sa ibang members ng group eh.

oh well... it's back to reality na nga.

kahapon, yeah, the main theme of yesterday was 'reminiscing'. my day ended reading some papers i've wrote for my past psych classes... nakakatuwa nga eh... nagulat ako sa mga sinulat ko, it's quite good... it showed that i was quite on my prime then... ngayon, specially on my assessments, parang 'latak' na lang yung mga naisulat ko. anyways, i did really good on my thesis, but it cost me my assessment reports... ok lng nman sa 'kin... kaso, i cud have done better.

oh well... nobodies perfect... but yon lng...

o cya, prep-up na ako...

laterz... c",)