what good did i do today? (confessions of an eccentic person)
(November 22, 2005 / 9:02pm)


as i am trying to type this blog, i was trying to remember what happened during this day...

so far it's the regular routine that i do during a school day.

wake up.

prep-up for school.

drive my mom to her office (this includes chatting with my mom during the ride).

go to school (and attend my classes).

hang-out with friends...

... hanging-out with friends... the questions that is running in my mind right now is... who are my friends?

there's the famous quote saying that... "show me who are your friends, and i can tell you what kind of a person you are." if this were true, then why am i like this?

a push-over. uto-uto. easy to fool (and any words / phrases that can suit me).

am i destined to be just on the agreeing party? even though i want to say my part, kahit walang mag-suporta sa akin? i don't know what's worst, to be a push-over or to be alone with nothing damn to give to people...

so far, since i started college i was blinded by a lot of things. blinded by the fact that people, even the closes ones are, in fact, very deceptive. and this blindness has turned into plain stupidity later on in my college life (RE: March 21, 2005 with israel, seth, eldon, denise, gato, jobi, ambok, tepay and the rest of the FA 'family').

yes, i am so stupid enough to trust people whom i considered as a family. this isn't the 1st time, there was high school, the people from victory, the FA people and it's somehow starting with my ka-psych family. though i learned from my mistakes, i believe in chances (di lang 2nd chances... to the nth chances). but why do i do the same mistake on trusting people, whom i see as friends, over and over again.

on regards of my friends... i want to say i have a lot of friends, but to be honest, i think i have none.

(i think this is one of my depressing blogs i ever typed... but im just being honest on what the facts has given me)

there... i got no friends. and i am depressed too.


well after hanging-out with 'friends'...

fetch my mom.

go home.

do homeworks (if there's any) or...

...sleep all the negative (and even the positive) feelings away.

then dawn will come the next day and the same routine.

...again and again.

this stops after i graduate this March 2006.

...i guess it's about time to throw out what i'm feeling towards them, since March 21, 2005... 'cuz it's been bugging me all the time. though forgiveness has already happened, forgetting their actions (though it's very different from what they said) is something i won't forget and want to get back at them.

i really hate them... HATE THEM!!!

but there's this thing inside me that keeps me telling not to give up on them...

so far, i can't decide what to do.

help me.

help me.

help...