What I've Learned from reading Da Vinci Code
(October 21, 2005 / 4:30pm)

kaninang madaling araw, at exactly 1:25am, i've finally finished reading Dan Brown's famouse book, the Da Vinci Code. the story revolves about a symbologist (Robert Langdon) and a young cryptologist (Sophie Neveu) discovering the secret of the Bloodline of Jesus and Mary Magdalene <it tells us that Jesus is just a mere human who had an intimate relationship with Mary Magdalene>. The author (Brown) made it clear in the start of the story that the artifacts, secret documents, the secret society (Priory of Sion) are real. <talk about a total conspracy?>

anyways, the book basically focus on the forgotten role of females in society (from the start of it)... it was good approach... seeing it that females then were are as discriminate before, though they are more powerful than men.

i think it gave me a thought... are men so tricky and afriad to admit that the powerful sex is indeed female? scientifically speaking, we came from XX chromosomes at the begining of ones life, thus i think, yon palang, proves that women dominates na.

suddenly it reminded me the research-approach taught by my pseudo-good professor garces-bacsal... to be more of a femenist in approaching ones research.

to be honest, i am a femenist... i respect women to certain levels that men cannot be <though men think they can... even i admit to that>.

anyways, i know this quite late... but i recommend to the public to read this book... it's fast-paced... and it gives the reader a "whoa!" every chapter. an i also suggest that read this before the movie comes out next year... but for your info (but i think this is also old news to most) Langdon is played by Tom Hanks, which at first i was doubting he can, but after reading the book i can see him doing a great Langdon. and Sir Ian McKellen (aka Magneto) will be playing Bishop Aringarosa, i guess seeing him as the master of magnetism down to a very stong bishop has its benefit... <when i was reading the book, i imagine that the bishop was wearing magneto's helmet, making him some weird dominating priest who wants something beneficial>...

oh well, i guess who can tell... but im guessing that the movie can be something to watch. i'll watch it once it open to theaters... sana nga lang walng cuts. :P

anyways, natanggal ko na rin yung plastic cover ng Angels & Demons, it is the prequel to Da Vinci Code... i hope i cud finish this before classes starts or during the x'mas break (the most).

o cya... yon na muna...

laterz... c",)


(i scanned this one to show that i have an illustrated version of the book... how narcissistic am i?)

"tree pretty... fire bad..." (idle minds go to sleep)
(October 20, 2005 / 6:13pm)

so far i slept all day... i guess im trying to get the energy na nawala sa akin from last sem... all the stresses i've been through, i guess kasama na rin yung mga inis ko lately to some people.

i guess i need more sleep then.

anyways, i'm good... ngayon lang nag-sink in na sem break na... kaso, im bugged na baka it one hell of a sem break uli, in which tamad ako most of my break... why cn't i be like those people in TV when they're on spring break (or similar to a sem break) they would go to beaches, or party hard and get laid... i guess, reality offers differently compared to what TV promotes... but i think i can compose something similar to that, especially of the getting laid part (hehehehe!)

oh well... i just love when my brain goes idle... nothing to think, nothing academically to think of... total blankness... sounds fun (i hope).

oh yeah, im planning to do RA work again this coming sem break... yeah, it will be for the last time... (do i really have to be senti right now?) o cya, kasi graduating na ako... hehehe!! :P

anyways... yon na muna.

laterz... c",)

It's an End... and also a Begining for something different (i think...)
(October 19, 2005 / 8:22pm)

well, officially my last 1st sem ends. SEMBREAK na!!! (whohoo!!) it ended with our Hum1 presentation kaninang around 6:30pm... hay, salamat...

come to think of it... this is my last sembreak before i graduate next sem... bilis ng panahon... so far, i decided to seize the moment and try to be the best i can be before i leave the premises of my college... aka, magkakalat na ako... hehehe (ooopss!!) :P

hay... medyo pagod na rin ako ngayon... parang literally im gonna need a break from all i've been through... and i hope matuloy ako sa pagpunta sa hong kong this end of october... I REALLY HOPE SO!!! para i could really get some rest and shop things for me-me-ME!!! (plus baka dun na rin ako mag-pseudo x'mas shopping for my friends & loved ones)

oh well... im tired from the presentation... papahinga na muna ako.

laterz... c",)

RANT blog... just to blow off some steam.
(October 18, 2005 / 9:50pm)

as i said a while ago sa previous blog ko... im pissed at my psych prof (Rhoda Myra Garces-Bacsal, Ph.D. candidate).

i am pissed, kasi ang labo niya. sobrang nakakangarag ang mga gawain niya. and she's something you learned to hate later on.

yeah, maybe i'm just really pissed off right now and later on i'll regret what i've wrote and cool down... but right now, im pissed...

ang labo niya talaga... and for someone of her mind, would see it nman...

i don't care about the assessment... though it seems it's connected to this rant... basta, kakabwiset lang siya lately...

dati i respect a lot for the way she teaches, being a good adviser, being a nice prof and i saw how she is dedicated to her field... but then there was her flaws... yeah, somehow i was blinded by her achievements that i disregard her flaws... anyways, i was somehow fooled (yet right now i wish i am wrong)...

now i can't decide on what to do after my graduation... kasi she's one of the reason that made me look forward to pursue a clinical perspectivwe of psych... then i saw the light (or what it is left of the light she's hiding from us). sighs.

oh well... i guess it's just i'm really pissed off sa kanya... true i expected more from her...

hay buhay... this sucks.

i guess i have ranted off na the thing i want to rant about my prof...

i guess right now, after i log-off... cool down na...

and hopefully later on... future-wise... something to laugh off na lang itong blog ko.

laterz...

tamad-mode... and it seems gonna stay here for a while.
(October 18, 2005 / 7:30pm)

yeah, bored sessions are quite present here right now.

somehow it has to do with being 2mrw as my official last day of class... and sembreak follows. thus makes it open for boredomness and laziness.

yeah, somehow nahimas-masan na ako about the thing i learned yesterday. anyways, im good na uli... and im human enough to accept that there still times that i might encounter that thing again... but who cares... past na sya eh. hehehe

hay buhay... nakakatamad, pero ok rin naman...

oo nga 'no... im also pissed off towards one of my psych prof, the one whom i respect the most... somehow, i got to see something and made me realize that people are indeed imperfect. yeah, i know mdyo nabighani ako sa abilidad niya, no doubt it gave me some kick of inspiration but it's quite weird to know that the person who i admire was a floop too... makes me think about the world being one dumb-ass population though... but hey, we're not flawless as other may see.

oh well... o cya... rest na muna ako.

laterz

*Books?! Reading?! Run for your lives!!
(October 17, 2005 / 9:49pm)

*i got this line from Jessica Zafra's blog... kinda fits the season... sem break.

somehow, sembreak-mode na ako... kahit di pa tapos yung finals ko... well, play na lang sa Hum 1... which will be on wednesday night... kaya 2mrw, double-time sa practice.

anyways... kanina, nakaka-baliw... kasi i just found out na isa has a boyfriend na... and well, yeah, classmate ko in some of my GE class, nice guy naman siya (well, di ko naman siya kilala that well, but i think he's a good guy)... but that isn't the thing... MAY BOYFRIEND NA SI ISA!!! that's the thing!! yeah, in 'some way' im over with my crush towards her... but seeing her all the time makes me feel... something special... don't get me wrong, im not a stalker-type person... but i get to be inspired by her... her face alone has an angelic aura, with a mix of malice. basta, it hit me when i found out kanina...

life sux!! (no doubt about it...)

...but hey. i still like her though... but i guess it somehow a reality check for me din...

oh well... im still single... and somehow there's the pros and cons of being sinlge for a while... im not like other people whom i know hates being single... ako. im just waiting for the right time... kasi, there's a lot of things to do while being single. kaya im still enjoying my single life.

anyways... i think im cool with it na rin with the sad news... but i guess moving on won't be an option... i have to.

hay buhay... idaan na lang sa tawa... hahaha!! :P

oh well... maya na lang uli.

laterz... c",)

back to Reality... and somehow, it Bites.
(October 17, 2005 / 9:50am)

later in while, i'll be prepping up to go to school... yeah, di pa ako sembreak... kasi may play pa ako ipre-present for hum 1 class... it's somehow a final exam of it... in some variation.

anyways, i have to... kasi nakakahiya sa ibang members ng group eh.

oh well... it's back to reality na nga.

kahapon, yeah, the main theme of yesterday was 'reminiscing'. my day ended reading some papers i've wrote for my past psych classes... nakakatuwa nga eh... nagulat ako sa mga sinulat ko, it's quite good... it showed that i was quite on my prime then... ngayon, specially on my assessments, parang 'latak' na lang yung mga naisulat ko. anyways, i did really good on my thesis, but it cost me my assessment reports... ok lng nman sa 'kin... kaso, i cud have done better.

oh well... nobodies perfect... but yon lng...

o cya, prep-up na ako...

laterz... c",)

why do i have a weird feeling about this...?
(October 16, 2005 / 8:00pm)

first of all... di na kinda noticed na it's some what my 3rd entry blog for just a day? <it just shows how free my time is here at home and, yeah, im also quite bored> ...anyways, i have a weird feeling that this sem break will be something... something bored or something... something.

sighs... wala lang.

i started reading... well try to finish reading Da Vinci Code... yeah, there's progress in reading it... ganda nga ng story eh... very fast-paced. parang i can imagine the movie na, specially Ian McKellen playing Bishop Aringarosa... there's the Magneto-ish essense... <bwahaha> :D

gusto kong gumimik... kaso wala akong pera... well i have some... but naka-save na sya for the pending comics na i have to get it na, asap. and there's the PS2 that i have to fight for... kasi i'll be pissed talaga kung di ko siya nakuha 'tong sem break... sa mga pinag-hirapan ko sa thesis... at wala akong reward... fuck it!! basta i'm determine to have my PS2 this sem break... <evil laugh!> ... :P

oh well... have to watch TV na muna na nga.

laterz... c",)

again... reminiscing on certain things
(October 16, 2005 / 1:55pm)

from out of the bloom, jax called me... weird, but hey it's been a long time since my best friend called me on my landline... anyways, he just asked something about one of my cd na na-copy niya before...

but that isn't the thing that i reminisce... it's about the author whom i adore so much since i was in high school... even until now... Jessica Zafra. yup, out of the blue, well... from one of my egrps that i joined has a post on Zafra's blog, which ginawan ko agad ng link sa blog ko... some sort of an honor for her... she's somehow was and still my mentor on being demented. :P

anyways... yon lng nman... oh well... maya nlng uli.

laterz... c",)

It's been exactly a year ago...
(October 16, 2005 / 12:26am)

yeah, call it reminiscing... it's exactly a year ago that a new friendship was established. me and with my FA Family... wow... nakakatuwa ngang isipin eh... kasi in just that event, a lot of things are somehow connected... and now, look where i am... i have survived a lot of things... thanks to them too, who guided me in many ways.

anyways, i just got home (a couple of minutes ago lang) from Ron's bday... mdyo nahihiya nga ako at kung kailan dumating yung iba, dun ako aalis... specially kay tepay... i hope seth would come talaga... anyways, it was fun and good to see them... as i said, exactly a year ko sila nakilala... and that same year, it started a new thing for me... reminiscing talaga. :D

oh well... i had fun na rin... anyways, i have to sleep na rin... later paggising ko baka tambay lng ako dito sa house the whole day... kaya i'll try to finish reading da vinci code once and for all...para mapahiram ko na rin kay best friend jax... :P

oh well... rest na ko.

laterz... c",)

X3
(October 15, 2005 / 11:23am)

yup... i can't fucking wait for X-Men 3 to come out in theaters next year... and kani-kanina lang, i have seen the teaser site in which the teaser trailer was there... and lupet... for an x-men fan... I CAN'T WAIT!!!!

i think i can see from now that my bday next year will be something good... kasi it has the possible factors: (1) graduate na ako, (2) bday blow out uli ako with my families and (3) palabas na ang X3 by that time... whoa!!!

i know mdyo mababaw... pero mababaw akong tao... i get joy from simple stuffs... it's a more practical way of living... for me (di ko alam sa iba dyan...)

anyways... yon lang... it's blast seeing the trailer... fuck, im so happy!! c",)

laterz...

pizza...
(October 15, 2005 / 9:19am)

im fucking craving for a pizza.

di matanggal sa utak ko yung mga bagong flavors ng Pizza-Hut... i funking crave for pizza... but i can't.

becuase of these stupid genes... not that i blame my parents for the genes, thus inheriting some of our families sickness, like this gall-stone i have right now... sighs!!

last night, got to watch the dvd i bought yesterday, yung bagong cgi-movie... final fantasy 7: advent children... sobrang astig!!! kaso nakaka-asar kasi sa end part dun nagluko yung dvd... kaya papalit ko nga as soon as possible... pero astig talaga!!! lupet ng camera angles, yung details ang lupet!! :P

well... im still thinking about pizzas right now...anyways, may vegetarian pizza naman eh... hehehe :P

oh well... maya pa kasi ako aalis around ng hapon... punta kasi ako sa bday ni ron... hmm... oo nga 'no!! it's been a year since i've known my FA family... well, dun nag-start yung pagkakilala ko sa kanila... bilis rin ng panahon...

i miss them, the FA family... wala lng... mdyo kasi di na ako nakiki-hang-out sa kanila lately eh.... medyo guilty nga ako eh. pero babawi ako sa mga pagkukulang ko naman... what are friends for nga...

weird... still part of my mind still stuck on the pizza... hehehe pero pawala na rin... :P

nasa may money na para i can buy a PS2 na... i really want a PS 2 na!!! that's my reward for the hardship for my thesis and other pasakit na dinaanan ko just to be in a graduating status next sem... c",)

o cya... maya nlng uli... i'll post something later or something.

laterz.

WILD day...
(October 14, 2005 / 10:41pm)

yep... the title says it... it was a wild day... very wild...

it started 12:55am... and somehow it ended a while ago, when i got home a few minutes ago...

kasi naman i have to drive and rush my mom to a hospital of her choice... then i woke up very late for my removal exam...

then it became cool when my good 'ol prof cancelled my removal and was re-scheduled next sem... then we, the psych-pips went to the new mall... tiendesitas... ok naman, kaso bad ventelation... i got a star-lamp, a rain stick and veggies & bread for me... it was cool!!! (parang bond uli namin ng mga psych)... i'll try to get the pix and post them on later blogs.

anyways... then after that we went to fin's and hang-out... then ayon... kakauwi ko lng.

what a day nga eh...

first it started with angst and bad feelings... then ended up erasing those bad-negative auras around me... hay... i thank my friends for being there... i love them...

oh well... gotta rest na muna...

laterz... c",)

...why i choose forensics as a theme for my thesis research?
(October 13, 2005 / 3:12pm)

wala lng... just poped-out sa utak ko lately...

i made some reports on forensics na before pala... hehehe...
-forensic entomology sa bio 11 class ko
-forensic pathology sa isa sa mga english class ko
-and my thesis on forensic psychology...

hmm... why did i choose forensic?... quite a question that runs in my head lately?

is there a higher calling for me?... anyways, im still waiting for 'that' sign from above...

oh well... something lang na nag-pop up lng sa utak ko... better put it sa blog ko... hehehe :P

laterz...

something new sa blog ko...
(October 13, 2005 / 2:07pm)

hmm... napansin ko... it's been more than a year na ako nablo-blog dito... and i think it's time for some few changes... like having a theme or a title for each blog i type-in... like the aboved mention... hehehe

yeah, the date and time will still be there... only next after the theme/title...

anyways... some new nga... :P

laterz... c",)

October 13, 2005 / 1:52pm

well, im YM-ing with my sister, who's in the US right now... and watching Laban o Bawi too...

and also blogging... hehehe

yeah, papasok dapat ako ngayon... for the dressed-rehearsals ng hum1 play... kaso im not feeling good right now... sipon / allergy... dagnamit...

anyways... i wish magka-PS2 na ako by this sem break...

and also finish reading da vinci code... so i cud open and start reading angels & demons...

sighs... i hate having allergy-attacks right now... hay buhay...

anyways... im cool... plus the fact na graduating na ako next sem... yehey! :P

oh well... by the way, while surf and killing time (by browsing other peoples blogs...) i got to stumble on my best friend's blog... quite interesting nga eh... but i feel sorry for him... even i wanna help/comfort him... i cnt... kasi it means that he knows that i've read his blogs... but i have no bad/evil intentions naman eh... i just wish he would see the bright side of things and somehow grow more... kasi i see the potentials he has... di pa lang niya nade-develop pa...

o cya... maya nlng uli...

mag-steam na muna ako... to get rid of this allergy...

wish me good health...

laterz... c",)

October 11, 2005 / 11:42pm

well, i guess i won't be able to pass my 2nd assessment by 2mrw... but i might pass it on thursday, i know it will be super late and there's deductions on it... but yeah, im prepared for the consequence (pero sana pumasa ako sa psych 162...) parang right now, nagpaparamdam na yung pressure to graduate on march... yikes!! parang di pa ako ready... but i guess we have to face it soon...

anyways, mdyo inuubo ako ngayon... dunno why, maybe it's connected to the lack of sleep lately... or something... plus mdyo may pinching pains uli sa abdomen area ko, more on the area where my gallbladder is... im quite worried. and im having second thoughts na rin on having this operated... para lang matapos ito... im still asking around and trying to do some research on my present situation... kasi it's my health at risk din eh. pero inom muna na lang ako ng apple juice before taking the ZZZzzz's...

oh well, 2mrw submit thesis and practice pala sa hum-1 play na rin... i guess i'll be staying at school for a while na rin muna... i-raos na muna ang mga dapat tapusin...

o cya... tulog na rin ako...

laterz... c",)

October 10, 2005 / 7:46pm

what a day!!

it's a mixed kinda day today.

well there's the good-side... got to see friends, and somehow our trouble with the assessments got us in a very tough time... well at least sama-sama kami...

there's also the funny-wacky side... kasi some of the semi-baho freshies hanged-out sa likod ng pick-up ko... and when i went there to get something (or just basically tested them...heheh) bilga silang nagsibabaan as if nothing happend... hehehe it was fun seeing their faces... pero it's ok lng sa kin... kasi pseudo tambayan na rin yung pick-up ko since freshie pa ako eh... pero seeing their faces... kahit mga pasaway sila... it's fun... hahaha!! :P

and there's the ugly-side... literally UGLY!!! and im speaking about tess Marfil... the inept, stupid and ugly-as-hell secretary of prof. abueva... im still wondering why would still have that work, in her kind of attitude & behavior... hmmm... i still don't get the 'humanitarian reason'... anyways... pangit siya!!! sana she would look ate her chest para masaksak niya ang sarili niya with her long baba... hahaha!!

anyways... the day went crazy too... the exam for psych 162... crazy, i tell you... hahaha!!!! hohoho!!! parang bagsak ako dun eh... sighs... buhay nga naman... plus di ko pa nabibigay yung 1/2 ng assessment report ko... anyways... im planning to give it on either wednesday or thursday the most...

right now... aaral / review muna ako for my removal sa STS... kaya yon nga muna yung focus ko tonight... kaya wish-wish me luck on this one... i hope i pass... para graduate na ako this year...

oh well... wish me luck talaga... sobra!!!

laterz... c",)

October 9, 2005 / 6:30pm

'di pa ako tapos sa paggawa ng assessments reports ko...my gulay!!!

sakit na ng ulo ko... but i have to push myself more on these reports... i have to... kasi i need to finish this by tonight... or else lagot ako na prof ko at sa class ko... sighs!!

anyways... ang hirap talaga gumawa ng assessment reports... sighs...

i miss my friends... (again)... laki ng thanks ko sa kanila sa pagtulong at pagsuporta nila sa thesis ko... 'di ko lang alam kung paano ko sila ire-repay...

neways... have to finish up my break then back work na uli ako dito sa assessments ko... hay naku...

laterz nlng uli... ='C

October 8, 2005 / 10:12pm

well, im really fucking behind schedule right now... i still have to transcribe the PTAT of my two clients... and have to integrate the handful of data to the assessment report (and that's times two)... and that's due on monday at 11:30am... plus i have to drive my mom 2mrw early morning... and plus drive my dad to somewhere far... and i have to fix my thesis 2mrw afternoon as well... kasama na rin yung signiture ni tita jasmin and yung pag-burn ng cd kina jax... it's gonna be a full-lenght action sunday 2mrw... oh fuck on that!!!

right... and since last night... mdyo my stomach is having those small pinching pains... and im quite scared if it's something to be aware at... i guess... inom na muna ako ng buscopan, to relief this pain... wish me luck nlng...

grabe, stress na ako... but i still have to push myself on this... patapos na rin eh... kakayanin ko 'to...

oh well... wish me the bestest luck nlng on these things...

laterz...

October 7, 2005 / 10:13pm

so far, i think i made a boo-boo on my philo1 exam kanina... but i think i did good on my ethics exam naman... well that's the good part of my day.

the bad part was the fault of my fuck retarded father.

yes... my dear 'ol daddy-o... the only mistake that i did was follow his favor at the right time... sana i should have done my interview with my client before i went home... kasi ang labo talaga ng tatay ko... that asshole!!

anyways, nagpa-drive pa sya...and it wasted my precious time... sobrang nakaka-asar siya... grr!! now, with the stress my father gave me... mdyo nag-pinching pain yung stomach ko... im hoping it's just a pinching-pain... that i will go away na rin... my dad, the asshole. no thanks to him.

anyways... 2mrw... double time muna ako to finish what i have for the assessment... then by 3pm to 7pm... punta ako sa hum1 practice... sana dun na muna ako a light roles, like being on the backstage person... yon lng... i think that's a good plan... sna by sunday afternoon tapos na ako sa assessments... kasi by 230pm onwards... busy ako with my finalization ng thesis ko...

wish me luck... and i hope i dnt get sick (anymore... for now).

laterz...

October 6, 2005 / 11:15pm

well... c/o my good friend, matt marte... he send this pic of the people who defended yesterday sa psych class namin... and these people are also my ka-psych family...

(r-l) feric, kate, me, wendi, girard & mouse (who is touching wendi's left boob...hehehe)

well... we all did it... and we're still a few men short sa defense, pero when their time comes to defend next sem, we'll help them too...

it was fun... cuz we kicked ass!! :p

laterz... c",)

October 6, 2005 / 10:43pm

i was suppose to blog last night... kaso, when i got home at around 6-ish... i ate dinner, then BAM!!! bagsak ako sa kama and had the best ZZZzzz's.

then i woke up at around late 8-ish kanina...

well, the thesis defense yesterday was quite good... it started na kinakabahan ako... and thinking na i'll just make a fool of myself and fail or worst ashamed... but that didn't happened... and thanx to my friends who really showed their support (thru txting me, waving at me outside, sitting-in and listen to my defense)... grabe... when i saw them (the FA family) outside and waved at me and cheered for me, nawala yung kaba at nerbyos ko... and when i saw some entered and sit-in, gave me the confidence to really push my defense and do the best as i can... and yeah, plus my tita being my panel... i kicked butt!!! YEAH!!!

im so greatful to them... grabe!!! i'll repay them back for sure...

anyways, have to do my take-home exam for philo-ethics class na muna...

laterz...! c",)

October 3, 2005 / 8:00pm

so far, i think i got a breather na from my thesis... napasa ko na kay ma'am myra yung copy ko and luckily, may panelist na ako fort he defense...kahit alam ko na iisa lang... i think it's good na rin... Tita Jasmin pa!!! sus!!! :P

anyways, right now, total rest na muna ako... just to regain my strenght again for the defense, as well as the assessments that i am suppose to submit on thursday (but i cnt, im planning to pass it on monday nlng, kahit may deduction)... oh well... sacrifices are meant to be happen.

i think that's it na muna...

have to rest.


laterz...!

October 3, 2005 / 1:05am

yes... it's one in the morning... cause i cnt sleep... i became a gentleman and gave my bed to a lady who really need some Zzzz's... hay naku... grabe talaga mag-thesis... nakaka-pagod pero nakaka-high rin to know that the blood, sweat and time na binigay importansya mo will be paid off na rin in a couple of days... sighs, what a relief.

anyways, wendi is sleeping on my bed ryt now... sobrang pagod at wasak sa mga kamalasan na nangyari sa kanya sa pagkakataposn ng kanyang thesis... pero i just wish she would just RELAX. in my case naman, eto... cool headed na rin... im good. :P

basically my day ended good na rin, kasi i got to watch the very last episode of Buffy again... i think its a good sign... well if it's a bad sign, i got to see the bright-side of it... hehehe :P

anyways... mdyo the ZZZzzz's are getting in me na rin... i'll just find a way to find a good place to sleep here sa room ko..

anyways... cheers for us, sa mga nakapagtapos ng thesis... kahit pressured at pagod na kami, we tend to look good pa rin. c",)

laterz...!

October 2, 2005 / 3:08pm

at exactly 3:01pm... natapos ko na ang thesis ko.

after i have saved it, for the last time... a cool breeze run thorugh my body, a sigh of relief was followed... then out of no where, a ray of light flashed at me... and i danced... danced as if no ones watching me dance... i danced like it was a grand celebration.

a very heavy burden was taken from my back... i could breath again.

it felt good.

now i have to just print 4 copies... and take a bath... wash away the remaing burdens that came with the bloody works...

it really felt good... c",)


laterz... (yehey!!)

October 2, 2005 / 1:06pm

yes!!! im almost done with my thesis... nasa last part na ako... which is the summary-conclusion-recommendation part. hay buhay...hirap talaga itong thesis... but i can't complain naman, kasi eto yung klaseng pagod na enjoy rin kasi alam mo na gusto mo yung topic... madugo nga lang talaga yung mga dirty work... pero, from what i cansee... i did good na rin. :D

oh well... by 4pm alis na ako to help wendi sa format ng thesis nya, then meet up with kate para sabay-sabay kami magpa-ring bind ng mga copies ng thesis namin... para by 2mrw morning, mabigay na namin kay myra yung copy niya... tapos, ako naman... try ko makahanap ng panelist naman... im hoping tita jasmin would be free to be my panel.

anyways, wish me a lot of luck starting right now and onwards... cuz i really need it.

o cya... back to work na muli ako...

laterz... c",)

October 2, 2005 / 9:42am

i'm still doing my thesis right now. and so far, it's a "so near, yet so far" thing... im almost there na sa last part ng thesis, which is the summary-conclusion-recommendation part, pero i'm still stuck sa data analysis & interpratation... rich kasi yung mga data na nakuha ko eh... not that im complaining na maganda yung mga data... pero ang haba eh... waaaah!!! tapos i lack sleep... pero baka mabawi ko 'to sa tuesday pa... pero it's the least of my worries... big worry ko ngayon eh matapos 'tong thesis by lunch time or the latest mga 4pm. para i cud rush to UP at pa-ringbind yung 3 copies ng thesis ko... for the panelist...

for the panelist... OH FUCK OFF!!! wala pa akong panalist!!!!! SHIT!!! ayusin ko na muna 'tong thesis nga... isa-isa muna... hay buhay. this is tough.

pero i think maaayos ito... kakayanin ko ito...

im so, quite tired na... pero have to push myself more again... kaya ko 'to...

after 2mrw morning, i'll finish my assessments na rin... rush-rush din ito eh... score ko na yung mga dapat i-score sa school 2mrw after ng submission kay myra ng copy ng thesis.

wish me tons of luck... cuz ill be needing it (right now would be good).

sighs... life's ups and downs... and im on the middle, being pulled by both forces... pressure.

but i think i can manage this... sugat-sugat nga lang ako after... but wounds tend to be healed...

oh well... back to work.


laterz... c",)

October 1, 2005 / 11:30pm

it's been a while since nag-blog ako... mostly im busy finishing my thesis... well, right now, i should be planning to finish the data analysis & interpretation... and 2mrw morning naman yung summary, conclusion & recommendations... then sa hapon, ipapa-ringbind ko na yung 3 copies... yup there's pressure and stress... pero enjoy rin naman eh.

kanina, sinamahan ko si jax sa pagbili ng mp3 player nya sa gilmore... and later tumambay muna ako sa kanila at dun ko ginawa yung data analysis ko... hirap kasi pag sa bahay ko ako nag-aral eh... anyways, i'll just finish this part ng thesis ko, then go to sleep...

anyways, i just want to post dito sa blog ko yung acknoledgements ko na nsa thesis ko... just to point out, the people who i acknowledge sa thesis ko are the people whom i respect and love the most... so, here it goes...

---0o0---

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

This thesis research is the fruit of the sweat, blood, and tears not only of the author, but of numerous other people as well. For this, for this, I would like to convey my heartfelt gratitude to the following for their invaluable assistance, advice, and encouragement:

The wonderful people at the Dayan Psychological Center, whose knowledge about the interaction of the law & psychology gave a great help on this thesis research-
o Dr. Natividad A. Dayan, Ph.D.
o Ms. Polly Dy
o Ms. Rose – the secretary

The people from Care and Counsel Wholeness Center, whose assistance on giving the wisdom about the world of Psychology helped me see a potential of being a Psychologist-
o Dr. Violeta V. Bautista, M.F.T.
o Ms. Kelly – the secretary

I would also like to thank Rev. Lito Mangulabnan, S.J. of the ADMU – Ateneo Professional Schools, who help me see the law and psychology, combined, in a more spiritual perspective.

Ma’am Myra Garces-Bacsal – My alluring-but-strict professor since my Social Science-I days (when I was still a freshman), who never gave up on me and encourages me to strive more. She also made me see the great potentials I can do and I can be. THANKS ma’am for letting me sing and getting a score of 96!!!

Ma’am PJ Lamzon – My down-to-earth-wacky Psych professor. Also a CSI fan. Your insights gave me funny and good perspective in the world of psychology, into a more cartoonish way. Your words from your lectures made my work on this research lighter than what I expected. You made me see the ‘moments’ and make me live on it. Thanks po!!!

Jax Chang – My best friend since high school. He’s the one who introduces me to a lot of things; this includes the world of Forensic Science on TV (C.S.I.), which is the theme of this research. He also helped me out on some of the physical stuff of this research (burning files on CDs format). Thank you for showing a lot of things about life, even with your constant silence, I learned to listen.

Janina Bustos – Nina, you who helped me out how to understand the jargons of the judicial system, as well as helping me out when I was researching at The Ateneo Professional Studies’ Library. I thank you for a lot of things, and one of them is our friendship that is hard to break. I love you friend!!!

My F.A. Family – Who are always at my side (figuratively & literally). Israel, Tepay, Seth, Alexis, Jobi, Ambok, Dave, Ron, Gato, Denise, Nikki, Dodong, Coco, Goitia, Go, Marvs, Eldon & Nina. Salamat sa mga encouragement at support na binigay ninyo sa akin. Sa tuwing nahihirapan ako gawin itong research ko, nandiyan kayo upang bigyan ninyo ako ng saya, malinaw na perspective at saya uli. SALAMAT mga t’song at mahal ko kayong lahat!!!

My Ka-Psych Family – We did it guys!!! The precious time we gave and the blood we sweated out was worth it. From our food-trips, bonding-trips to our class researches at different libraries, through THICK & THIN we manage to come out successfully and stayed good-looking as well. Kay, Feric, Girard, Mouse, Miko, Rheena, Wendi, Kate, Pao, Fin & Rowan (and Matt & Mike too); thanks for the strength and encouragement you guys have given me. As well as your patience and respect that we all shared towards each other. Cheers for all of us!!!

The rest of my Friends at Kalayaan College – You guys know who you are… :)

Ma’am Susie Deasis & the rest of the people at the Library­ – Thank you for giving me the things needed for my research, the references. Without them it would be a big burden for me. Thanks for lighten up things for me!!!

The People from the Rizal Library at ADMU–Loyola and the Library at ADMU–Ateneo Professional School in Makati – For the other references that helped out to form this thesis research.

The wonderful people at W.H.C. & The Chinese General Hospital – For giving me the medical stuff to make me have a good health and get back on my feet for this research.

And of course to the Higher Being Above.

---0o0---

ayon... yon lng...

o cya... wish me luck on this...


laterz... c",)

September 26, 2005 / 7:02pm

well, im quite ok na naman... last night, the thing i drank was quite effective. i hope i hvae flushed out the stone... anyways, i'm still continuing my fruit diet... but im deciding right now if i would go vegetarian na muna... pero i'll make sure i'll watch my eating na.

so far, today was quite not so good... kasi i am suppose to do my thesis na... pero medyo mahina pa ako at nakatulog ako uli eh... ayon. im still quite weak... pero i have to finish this thesis by friday night... para sa saturday, photocopy & ring binding na ito... plus gimik kami ni jax... hehehe!! tapos monday ko nlng gawin yung psych report...

anyways... that's it na muna ata...

laterz... c",)

September 25, 2005 / 3:08pm

i should have reallly start doing my thesis a while ago... kasi may mood ako to do it... kaso, the bitch i called "mom" ay nagpadrive to some eating out... well, one thing, im on a diet and next, i am suppose to do my thesis... then nawalan ako ng gana... ok lng sna kung idaan ko nlng yung pinapadaan eh...pero hindi eh... kumain pa sila sa harapan ko... stresses me too bad... mga PUTANG INA NILA!!!

oh yeah... di ko alam who won kagabi sa soundskool sa Ultra... i should have watch there, kaso nagpa-check up ako sa doctor in regards of my gall-stone... so far, im still under medication... pero, im still praying & hoping that this stone would dissolve and be gone... 'cuz i hate going under the knife, kahit sabi na madali lng... pero...i really hope & pray that i will recover in good natural way...

i hope seth's band won last night... pero if not... ok lng...pero, nahihiya na ako... pero babawi nlng ako nxt time...(promise talaga!)

oh well... anyways... diet pa rin ako... bili lng muna ako ng apple juice nga... wait lng... have to go na muna... nxt time nlng uli...

laterz...

September 23, 2005 / 10:15pm

well...i want pizza... but sadly i can't. im on a STRICT FRUIT DIET for three days... 3 FUCKING DAYS!!! im going crazy... my gulay!!

anyways, im finish on the appendices of my thesis... and 2mrw i'll do the analysis of data from the content analysis... then hopefully sa sunday i'll be getting the transcriptions... then integrate all and be done by wednesday or thursday... then print, ring-bind & give it to the panelist... then defense ko na sa October 5... and before that day... ako na bahala sa food. :P

ayon... plus konting singit-singit ko yung assessment pa... kasi i have to finish this pa before october 6... hay buhay...

pero... ako... kakayanin ko ito... me pa!! :P

anyways... i have to drink the apple juice again...

laterz. c",)

September 23, 2005 / 8:26am

i'm starting my STRICTLY FRUIT DIET today... and it's gonna be a 3-day diet... in which the 3rd day, im expecting that my stone will just a yesterday thing. i hope so...

so im having a dellusional on wanting to eat the new flavor pizza ng pizza-hut... looks masarap eh... anyways, when i get the chance na to eat those things... those pizza are the first thing that i'll eat for sure... hmmm... can't wait for it.

anyways... i'm making it sure that i'll finish my thesis draft by friday next week... so technically that i have a week to do my thesis... so basically, sobrang focus ako... yeah, papasok pa rin ako on some of my classes... pero yon lng... focus-FOCUS!!!

ayon... cge... prep-up lng na muna ako for today...

laterz... & wish me luck... c",)

September 20, 2005 / 3:14pm

well, if i didnt got sick... today im starting my analysis of data for my thesis... and so far.. eto resting and mdyo kinakabahan dahil wala pa akong nahahanap for someone to do my transcriptions... hay buhay... i think i have to do this by myself na muna... pero in a bright side, im doing the book report for my philo-1 class right now... para by friday i could submit it na rin... tapos FOCUS-FOCUS on my thesis and assessments.

i think that's a good plan... and a stable plan to brag about it. :P

hay naku... i still need a transcriber... desperately need one... i pray for a miracle.

anyways... wish me luck nlng...

laterz...

September 19, 2005 / 6:42pm

well, i got the CD from the library kanina... and so far, i also got to pay na rin for my last installment for my tuition sa school... oh yeah, i'll be returning back to school this wednesday. but im still gonna push myself on the diet and yeah, balancing it with my pending works (assessment and thesis)... hay buhay... so far, i think i got a enough rest for a while... 2mrw, work-work uli ako...particularly sa transcription for my interviews... yon yung mdyo bloody right now... anyways, i can stretch naman eh.

oh well... rest na nga muna ako... plus wala lng... watch TV na muna...

yon na nga muna... eheheh :P

laterz...


* wish me good health. c",)

September 18, 2005 / 3:59pm

well, so far i have a recurring abdominal pain... which makes me conscious more on what i eat. then i started to read the cases that i suppose to start reading for my thesis... oh yeah, im also done on my 2nd take home exam for philo-ethics class... so yon... im getting back on my feet na rin... step by step.

oh well... im still trying to charge up... kasi nxt weekend ay work uli / gimik uli ako... like goin to the finals of nescafe soundskool, in which my dear friend, seth and his band, will be playing for a record deal... i wish them good luck... though, bawi talaga ako... kasi last time i wasn't able to watch eh... hanggang voting lng ako eh... anyways, plus i have to samahan my best friend, jax, sa pagbili ng mp3 player niya sa gilmore...plus pasama na rin ako sa greenhills... cuz i wanna buy a rain-maker stick eh... hehehe :P

anyways... yon lng pahinga-hinga muna ako... plus eating right and light.

ayon na muna.

laterz c",)

September 17, 2005 /9:42am

well, i have eaten (or souped-out) my breakfast na...

oh yeah... im still again looking for a transcriber for my thesis... and in this weak condition i am into... dagnamit!!!!

i think the transcription will be a follow-up na lng... i can just listen and put the data while typing my thesis research... which i will start in a few days... just when i get my health back on track.

hay naku... mdyo boring nga talaga pag nasa bahay lng... kaso, i cnt go out... cuz im still quite weak and i hate to be tempted and eat those forbidden foods... i think rest is the only solution right now.

sighs!!

anyways, i'll just try to do something productive this weekend nlng muna... something connected to my thesis pa rin most probably... data analysis or read the things for my content analysis. something like that...

oh well... cge... la-log off na nga muna ako...

laterz... :P

September 16, 2005 / 7:07pm

well, im still on rest mode... and im still on a very strict diet... well... yeah... it's just the 1st day.

anyways... here's a poster of Aeon Flux the movie... which will be out by december... i hope it can be shown here on time, just before those local film festival... i just saw bits ok the trailer... looks good nman.



eto... i think it's gonna be a kick-ass movie... and im planning to watch it...

hay naku... im still thinking on how to approach my thesis... there are changes... but im avoiding to think about it right now... but it's hard not too... anyways... i think i have to relax myself na nga muna... i won't think about my thesis for a few days... promise!! (even if its hard to do it)...

anyways... ayon..

o cya...

laterz nlng... :P

September 16, 2005 / 11:23am

just took off the bandeges from my hospitalization kani-kanina lng... yung pinag-tusukan ng dextros ko sa left hand... la lng..

so this is it... ma'am myra approved my letter... i'llbe continuing doin the thesis even without the FGD... good thing... it gave me the chance to save money... so i'll just do this during my resting period here sa house... then i think the plan is somehow back... so no-biggie worries for me... just have the sufficient rest nlng... para i could go back to work again.

oh well... things are suck... but then again, i rise up and kisk their sorry-ass... hehehe!!! phoenix rulz!! :P

anyways... yon lng muna... rest uli ako.. and also proper diet... papayat nga ako for the defense... hehehe...

laterz... c",)

September 16, 2005 / 8:42am

yeah, it's been a while na di ako nag-blog... busy kasi eh... and well... yeah na-rush ako sa hospital... and guess what... i have a stone in my gall-bladder... and the doctor said it's an inch thick... and right now i'm just resting here at home... yeah, to make myself functioning here, i'll just do my thesis with the data that i have gathered...

oh yeah, i'll be going to another doctor this weekend for a 2nd opinion... just to make sure that i won't go under the knife in this situation...

hay buhay... it kinda suck right now... kasi i have a good plan na to do my school works and this sickness comes... sighs!!

anyways... rest-rest na nga muna ako ngyon... hay naku... distress tlga 'to... hehehe

oh well... it's better to have a good health than a bad one... kaya rest-rest na muna ako...

laterz nlng. ...

September 11, 2005 / 7:01pm

well, la lng naman ito... here's a cover of Giant-Sized X-Men #4... which im planning to get it.


anyways... it has been a while since i blogged a pic sa blog ko... wala lng...

mdyo share ko lng yungmga nagnyayari sa school ko lately... the new batch of students, well most of them (majority of them) are really STUPID!!! ang tatanga nila... and sobrang baliw... kala mo kung sino silang mayabang... it's getting into my nerves... kahit alam ko it's not really my business... but their immaturity and stupidity affects some of the people whom i have be-friends with na... oh yeah, one of the stupid person sa batch na yon is a celebrity... a has-been celebrity who plans to run for public office, but right now... cheating on a 5-point quiz is quite a very bad image for the wanna-be... hehehe :P

anyways... ayon... just ranting off my angst against them... di ko na nga i-try na kaibiganin sila.. mga baliw lng sila... and i wish that when they'll be strike by karma, i could be at the audience seat and laugh at their misery... bwahahaha!!! :P (im so evil right now... hehehe)

nways... yon lng..

laterz... :P

September 11, 2005 / 6:14pm

well, galing ako sa service from school... kasi i took the oppurtunity of the double the time offer in fixing the library... kaya i got 7 & 1/2 hours and double it... i got 15 hours worth of service. good na rin... to make bawi for the lost times i missed before.

anyways... mdyo gipit na talaga ako... financially. mdyo wala na akong budget for my thesis and all... kaya im trying to borrow money from some people... i hope i cud borrow some by this week, before my FGD... wish me luck.

i plan to pay them back... promise!

anyways... mdyo na-high ata ako from the scent ng school ah... mdyo dizzy on the sides ako eh...

i gues i have to rest this out na muna...

2mrw is just another day... i have an assessment and yeah some class pa...

oh well... bahala na...

rest na muna.

laterz... c",)

September 7, 2005 / 7:17pm

well... i got the thesises i need for my thesis research... i got it kanina sa ADMU-Rockwell... and also i got the appointment kay Fr. Lito for friday morning... yehey!!!

and i also got the gist on what happened to the soc.sci class of my dear prof myra... buti nga sa kanila... maka-karma talaga sila... BIG TIME!!! they are still kids... sobrang kikitid ng pag-iisip nila... hay buhay... pero sa totoo... they suck!!! talaga... di nga sila jologs...pero mas mababa pa sila sa jologs... they're just spek of dusts.... hehehehe...

so now i've seen their true colors... and im so glad at di ko sila kinaibigan... hahaha!!! :D

o nga pla... i got the painting that i want since i saw it... yey!!! :P

papa-frame ko ito once i have the extra money... pero di ko kukunin from the salary this month... pang thesis ko ito eh... for the new clothes, FGD, tokens & food for the defense...

o cya... maya nlng muna...

laterz... c",)

September 5, 2005 / 8:00pm

well... good news about my friend, seth, and his band... they got in sa nescafe soundscool band competition... good for them!!! i wish for the best for them. and i'm also hoping that nikki's band would also get in... i also wish for the best for them.

anyways, mdyo ngarag ako from driving...pagod na eh... rest na muna ako for today...

oo nga pla... new season ng Tru Calling... i think i could get some rest for the night na muna and watch it...

o cya... maya nlng uli..

laterz...

September 4, 2005 / 9:47am

just woke up from my deep slumber...

yesterday was quite a good day naman... i got to get the enough (i think it's enough nman) data from the interview with the lawyer-psychologist... tpos ate-ate & ATE a lot of food from Fin's bday handaan... kaso di ako nkasunod sa gig nila seth, yung elimination... parang na-guilty ata ako eh... i just hope they did great.

anyways, im planning to go to school and help out sa library... kaso im having second thoughts not to go... mdyo tinatamad ako eh... tska wala na akong pera at gas.

hmm... bahala na.

oh well... ipapalit ko pa nman uli yung dvd within this week nlng... mdyo iba yung reading ng 2 at yung isa is somehow weird and so-real to watch (plus may glitches pa)... have to echange it to something good and working...

hay buhay... di pa nagte-text yung kay dr. bolet... neways, i'll just go there 2mrw...

o cya... maya nlng uli.

laterz.

September 2, 2005 / 8:17pm

mdyo ok and tight na talaga yung schedule ko this month.

anyways... i'm planning to have to take my thesis defense on the 5th of October... kasi for sure i cnt make it to defend my thesis on the 28th of September... kasi may assessment ako ng 1pm at may report pa ako sa Psych 195... so ayon... i guess the 5th is good for my defense... and i'll make it a big one!

and i just hope my friends can be there to watch me... i truly need their support.

anyways... wish me the best and have faith in me.

laterz.

September 1, 2005 / 6:10pm

well, some things turned out good naman for my thesis... yeah, i'll be having an interview with one of the psychologist sa Dayan Psychological Center on Saturday afternoon... then i'll be interviewing Dr. Bautista sa Monday & Tuesday... tapos yung kay Fr. Lito naman, i'll have a word by wednesday on when i'll interview him... ayon... para mdyo solb na yung sa interviews ko... FGD nlng (oh my!! i have to work on na rin on my interview schedule ng FGD... gaddamit!!).

and the assessment kanina went good nman rin... so far, mdyo magpapaka-pasaway ako ay i'll do the assessment with ambok... hirap uli mag-hanap ng client eh... it's my choice, and i dnt give a damn kung may nag-reklamo.

oh well... ok rin naman ako eh... mdyo there's the burdens and all... kakayanin... dapat lng eh... it's for a good/better purpose for my life... i guess.

o cya... maya nlng uli.

laterz. ;P

August 31, 2005 / 9:08pm

some burdens have been lifted. and the rest gain weight... oh well... it sucks... but cnt complain about it... just have to fight it off right...

i guess ganoon naman talaga eh... kahit before. i think it's been my strategy since i started doing it... surviving.

hay buhay nga naman o... weird but funny.

neways, i still have to fix my interviews and look for a transcriber for my interviews...

wish me the best nlng muna...

laterz...

August 30, 2005 / 9:59pm

trust... hmmm... i think it's the theme for today...

yeah, in a way, even i dnt trust myself that often... and it's not about the insecurites that i have... it's more of a fail-safe mechanism that i dnt trust myself on certain things... i hate to have a rerun of what happened before...

anyways, ok lng nman sa akin yon... kasi somehow alam ni ma'am myra na i have the tendency to have a 'power-trip' attitude... cnt blame it... it's part of my 'shield', that is on stand-by all the time... hehehe

anyways... ok lng naman ako... i guess, kasi ok na yung mga news about the assessments... mdyo nag-lighten yung burdens ko on that department... im cool... im not sure about the others (hehehe... bahala sila... evil ko 'no?)... hehehe :P

oh well, fuck it all... life's a bitch, deal with it. 'cuz i did... :P

o cya... maya nlng uli...

laterz c",)

August 29, 2005 / 9:36pm

well... a slight burden had been raised... my cousin made sure that he'll buy me a PS2 once i graduate by march next year... so i guess, ok lng na di ko na-reach yung quota ko for october... konting pasensya lng... a few months won't hurt naman eh...

nyways... im quite good na rin... taking it lightly but seriously yung things sa thesis ko... 2mrw ill be dropping by to give the letters & interview skeds for Dr. Dayan & Fr. Mangulabnan... wish me luck 2mrw.

anyways, gotta sleep na rin... have to be quite preppy and early 2mrw eh... :p

laterz... c",)

August 29, 2005 / 7:07am

good morning...yeah so far it's still a 'good' morning... hehehe

oh well... walang pasok ngayon... kasi in celebration of national heroes day yesterday... ang labo nga ng president natin eh... erratic mag-decide... nung frday sinabi ay may pasok, then yesterday sinabi wala... panu ba uunlad yung bayan kung erratic mag-decide yung pangulo natin?!?

paksyet sya!!!

anyways, iv sent to myra the revised (and hopefully final draft) of my interview sked for my interviews with Dr. Dayan, Dr. Bautista & Fr. Mangulabnan... im still fixing my sked on when i'll interview them... and also im gonna do my FDG interview sked na rin in a while... plus get some cases regarding on child custody for my content analysis... mdyo yon lng na muna yung focus ko on my thesis... i got a voice recorder na rin, kaya no biggie na rin sa interview at FGD... pero marami pa akong gagawin, like the assessment for both adults na... good thing nagkaroon ng other option for the choosing of clients...

anyways, it's still gonna be something crazy in next days... pero kakayanin ko tong mga pressures & stresses... im expecting that these works that i'm doing will be worth it... magiging obra ko ito!!!

oh well... good morning na lng uli...

laterz... c",)

August 27, 2005 / 9:56pm

well, mdyo masakit pa rin some parts of my body due to the badminton yesterday afternoon...

and yeah, mdyo pissed off pa rin ako with ate kay... leaving us without formally saying good-bye... syet!!

yeah... shit happens... even from the people you believe that shit won't come from (sa tagalog: na di mo maasahan mula sa kanya) anyways... ayon..

plus the thesis and the psych assessment...

oh yeah, on the psych assessment... ang labo mo talaga si lloyd... paksyet!!

oh well... pressured at stressed uli ako from a lot of things... hay buhay.

the only good thing ata lng na nangyari ngyon nung nakita ko at pinasabay ko si seth... tapos getting the aeon flux dvd... yeah may digital voice recorder/mp3 player na rin ako... kaso... mdyo im sure na di ko na makakamit ang quota for getting a ps2 this october... hay buhay nga nman talaga...

oh well... shit happens.

neways... may gagawin lng ako... school stuff...

laterz... c",)

August 25, 2005 / 6:24pm

ngarag na ako.

im going crazy by a minute... and it is due to a lot of things... and guess what, i think di lang ako ang nawiwindang... there are some people i know who are experiencing things that are hard to carry on.

anyways... im so getting crazy on a lot of things too... one thing is with my friends (yeah, trust is quite shaky lately)... the next are the things i will do for my thesis... and the assessment im doings (i still need a teen client for my assessment)... plus other factors.

oh my gulay... the stresses are really something lately... ang hirap.

but i know it's somehow gonna be worth it in the end... i just dnt know how good (or bad) it will be by october...

neways...rest na muna ako... i'll just fix my interview sked and watch ALIAS maya...

laterz.

August 22, 2005 / 10:53pm

well... somehow the rant went a little bit sub-sized na... and now this is something good nman... a conversation with someone whom i had a crushed a few months back... na ngayon wala na (for sure)... wala lng im just posting this kasi trip ko lng and made me my day end with smile...

so eto na sya...

g_bataclan528 (10:46:03 PM): ei!
roseslilsis (10:46:14 PM): hi
g_bataclan528 (10:46:29 PM): nu gnagawa mo?
roseslilsis (10:46:56 PM): nagaayos ng avatar..
roseslilsis (10:47:04 PM): basahin mu blog ko para masaya haha
g_bataclan528 (10:47:52 PM): nah... nxt time nlng... not in a mood to be happy... mdyo drained na ako from ranting out my problems eh
g_bataclan528 (10:48:06 PM): tnx anyways... ill read it nxt time,promise
roseslilsis (10:48:20 PM): no i mean.. masaya for me gets?? haha medyo selfish ako today haha
g_bataclan528 (10:48:45 PM): ah... ok.
g_bataclan528 (10:49:05 PM): so it's an ISA day pala... congrats.
roseslilsis (10:49:07 PM):
roseslilsis (10:49:10 PM): yeah..
roseslilsis (10:49:16 PM): pero badtrip din ako.. dont worry
g_bataclan528 (10:49:47 PM): oh well... there are those days... hehehe
roseslilsis (10:50:03 PM):
roseslilsis (10:50:07 PM): yeah.. but its life..
roseslilsis (10:50:12 PM): so.. let it roll..
g_bataclan528 (10:50:41 PM): anyways, be merry and happy on ur day and whatever makes u happy... im hoping it will last for a life time.
g_bataclan528 (10:50:44 PM): tnx tnx...
g_bataclan528 (10:50:51 PM): nways, gotta bounce na rin...
g_bataclan528 (10:50:59 PM): kita-kits nlng... nyt
g_bataclan528 (10:51:09 PM):
roseslilsis (10:51:15 PM): kk..


....

ayon... wala lng... 'stig nga eh... now i can say she's really is a nice person to be friends with... but not right now na muna... im still in a unbalanced situation with all the things that bugs me... after nlng na defrag & debug ko lalapitan siya to really start a hope-to-be a good friendship...

oh well... nyt nlng.

August 22, 2005 / 10:37pm

i am so screwed up right now... i dnt know what to do on my sked for my psych assessments and the fucking thesis!!!!

yeah, im fucking ranting right now!!!

especially when i was asking for help in that department... tang-ina!!! and damn they're not funny (even if they are trying to be funny)... fuck fuck fuck!!!

so far, im making a big mess for my adult assessment (yeah... i big mess that i'll regret in the lon term)... and now wala pa akong kid naman for the assessment and the sked is very tight na.... and add pa yung fucking thesis ko!!! syet man!!!

right now, i wanna defy everything around me... BRING IT ON!!!

i can take them all!!!!

tang-ina nila!!!

tang-ina!!!!

syet im just really paranoid and scared on what to do... cuz i dnt know what to do next... im running out of resources and im having a hard time with a lot of things... FUCK!!!

tang-ina... ang hirap talaga...

...yet it is also a learning thing... kasi when i need some help from people whom i thought can help me... iikutin pa nila ako... why they cnt just say 'no'... mage-gets ko pa yon kaysa na ikutin pa nila ako... tang-ina nila!!! FUCK!!!

yeah... alright... bring it on!!! i can take them... PUTANG INA NILA!!! fuck!!

oh well...

i guess this is a good rant out for the day... and some thing to keep me alive and kickin'...

sighs!

oh well... laterz.

August 19, 2005 / 8:08pm

well, im okay naman... so far.

di na nga muna akong sumama kina kate sa place ni miko with the ka-psychs for some inuman... kasi mdyo tinatamad ako at mdyo nagra-rumble yung stomach ko...

anyways... bawi nlng ako nxt time...

oo nga pala... i'll gonna be a chairperson on judging the philippine lottory this sunday night... its a gimik... and i get to be paid... P1,500 rin yon... hehehe... just to add the savings for my PS2 and an additional budget for my thesis, especially sa FGD ko... and also the allowance i'll give to my RA for the transciptions... and some other stuff pa...

oh, well... gastos na naman... grabe!!!

sighs!!

anyways, pahinga na muna ako...

laterz.

August 17, 2005 / 6:48pm

i should let this just pass thru... but NOOOO!!! i won't let this out... one thing is for sure (again!) you can't trust anybody. I may sound paranoid but I hate to trust people who would stab my back.

now it's a trilogy... i was expecting these kinds of things... no doubt about it... but i just hope the people who are into question aren't the ones im trusting. kasi if they are, it's so stupid of me to let them be part of my life.

i just hate it...

no. im not gay. but why would people think like that about me... i guess people are really dumb... and i think ganoon na talaga... i dnt care nman talaga kung ganoon yung iniisip nila... kaso kung yung mga nag-iisip ng ganoon ay mga taong pinagtitiwalaan mo... ibang usapan na yon...

yes, im sounding paranoid right now... and i dnt care...

sighs!!!

i guess i have to make some steps backward towards them na... i guess tama na rin yung iniisip ko na iwanan ko na sila... tulad sa pag-iwan nila sa akin...

PUTANG INA nila!!!

i guess... the terms na walang laglagan o walang iwanan meant differently from the lexical meaning of it...

i just hate 2day... and im guessing the rest of the days will follow.

bahala na... im a loner before, i can be alone again... good thing malapit na rin yung graduation... i can easily forget EVERYTHING...

sarcastically... it's gonna be a good transition na rin...

oh well... fuck them all!!

August 15, 2005 / 6:37pm

well, im quite done for my thesis defense... and it was not that bloody as i was expecting from it... the only bloody part was the interview schedules and the addition of another method, the dreaded FGD... yeah. so basically its a triangulation method for my thesis research... an archival study, an interview and a FGD... oh my gosh!!

pero kakayanin ko 'to... ako pa!!

yeah... so far im back on my feet after the fiasco that happened to me days ago... so far getting back on the 'one-feet-at-a-time' gig... but still, im doing good na rin...

right now, rest na muna ako... then if ever gusto ko, i'll start to do some homeworks that are due on thursday... maybe...

and the things for my thesis... mamaya o 2mrw na muna... hay naku... it was a good start of my week na rin...

o cya... maya nlng uli...

laterz... c",)

August 11. 2005 / 7:25pm

oh well... it was a pissed day... well it started being pissed off at my mother... damn bitch!!

then being locked-out for my thesis class... thus made it impossible for me to do my proposal defense... kaasar talaga!! BWISET!!!

but the thing that made this day quite good na rin was during my psych 162 class... when i volunteered myself for the PTAT sample... which quite good na rin... kasi i got to know my status right now about my life, present life... which somehow is quite still uncertain... and the weird part is that i have to make an analysis about myself too... hmm... i guess being honest is the right time right now...

then to somehow end my day... i took again my boxing work-out... and it helped put down my stress and pissed-off... kasi the endorphins that kicked-in during the work-out made me happy and relax... which is cool.

anyways, 2mrw naman ay su-swimming naman kami... yahoo!!! enjoy time na muna 'to.

o cya... rest na muna ako... then watch ALIAS... then tulog na ako... kasi i have to report na for my Student Assistance work 2mrw morning... and i'll give a whoop-ass to that baba!!! (hehehe!!)

laterz... c",)

August 10, 2005 / 7:01pm

i am somehow experiencing an anxiety attack... and i guess it's for a lot of reason that's why im having it... and now im having this feeling of being scared of something, and also being quite fragile/weak... and i dnt know why...

parang nanenerbyos ako ngayon... and im scared.

but while im in this mode... i must force myself to finish my conceptual framework and the wais-3 reaction paper...

you know... im really pissed off sa secreatry ni dr.abueva... sobra!!! that long-chin bitch will get hers... im sure of that!!! maka-karma yung babang yon.

anyways... i have to finish the papers na... then cry it all out nlng before i sleep.

laterz.

August 9, 2005 / 10:59pm

well... im home na rin... so far yung WAIS-III nlng nman yung kailangan kong gawin na muna... yung sa thesis ko (re: conceptual framework) later nlng... once they give me their critics/comments & suggestions on how to further furnish my thesis... yon lng nman.

hay naku... im so gonna be busy na rin pala after the proposal defense... kasi dun ko na gagawin yung field work ko... interviews...interviews and more interviews... hay naku... kakayanin ko to!! anyways, i guess i have to make some tight scheduling of myself na rin... less gimiks, more thesis-related work... hay buhay...

and i guess, it started kanina... when i didn't notice that israel was there... di ko man siya na-'hi!'... am i bad ba? feeling na-guilty naman ako... ill try to call him nlng in a while...

neways... have to rest na rin... maaga rin ako eh...

nyt-nyt!!

laterz... c",)

August 8, 2005 / 9:17pm

ok...

im done with my thesis' proposal defense... i have printed a copy and i'll just photocopy one 2mrw... yes im done in that department for now... yehey!!

im also done in one of the papers for psych 162, the reaction paper for my PPP test-scale results... which kinda shows what kind a person i am and how i am different from other individuals... hehehe... whohoo!!!

so far, i'll just read for my ethics class right now... and just finish the paper naman for WAIS-III sa wednesday night... and all is set na...

hay naku... i guess im quite out from my burnout... kasi these things i've done kanina won't materialized right now kung may burnout pa rin ako... i guessed i have cool down na... whopee!!!

hehehe... im cool... :P

o cya...basa na muna ako tong about "the good will".

laterz!! c",)

August 8, 2005 / 6:41pm

just got home.

and now, im just blog something... then do some furnishing for my thesis... then do some papers for my psych class...

hay naku... 2mrw, ill be driving my erpats and lola naty to a wedding, which means i'll be cutting out my philo 1 class... kasi after my ethics class by 230pm, balik ako to prep up and drive them... hay buhay... kaya i planned to do some papers 2day, to avoid delays on wednesday...

tska, proposal defense na rin sa thursday for the thesis... dios mio!! :P

hehehe...

anyways... i think i can manage it... thus surviving it... hehehe!! :P

o cya... gotta eat na muna then start work-work na...

laterz. c",)

August 7, 2005 / 7:59am

well, now i get it...

the thing that i've been experiencing lately... a BURNOUT.

whoa!!! i guess this time i have to stand alert and fix something, before i get a icky-factor... which is being really "walang-pakialam-sa-buhay"... have to start on something productive... like fixing the title of my thesis (again)...

hay naku... i really have to start working on this one na nga... hay naku.

anyways... good morning!! :P

o cya... laterz nlng... c",)

August 6, 2005 / 11:10am

well... i made it through... im still quite in the moment of anger... yeah, still angry at them... but it's slowly going down na rin nman... di ko na muna pinansin sila... its the 'i-sed-hi-but-they-sed-hi-first' thing... anyways, im ok na rin... got to score most of the WAIS-III record form...

anyways... im good na rin... mdyo ganito na muna ako for a while... let it cool down naturally...

o cya... maya nlng uli...

btw, here's the blog that i suppose to post last night...

--o0o---

August 5, 2005 / 9:33pm

it ended when they left me... that made the bonds broken and die immediately. and somehow now i understand and i have learned from my mistake.

to never hide what i am feeling... even to 'save' up bonds of friendship... if i am angry, i have to pour out my anger. never pile it up or to cover up with something... it will just make things worst...

now i am really angry... and this time i must let it all out... even if it hurts some people. kasi ako rin yung masasaktan at the end... it is better this way. even if they understand or not...

right now, im cool... but i have to let it all out... and hit it to the right people and the right situations.

tama nga... i should take the moments and cheerish it... before the sad reality of the world consumes you. it may take a toll but im gussing it will be worth it... i guess...

anyways... i started my boxing work-out last thursday (yesterday) afternoon... and it was sooo good!!! i had a blast letting all stress out... and getting a work-out i am wishing before...

oo nga pla... i should be in angry mode ngayon... hehehe

basta... i'll try to be myself in an angry mode 2mrw... di ako manggagago or mangtri-trip ng tao... i'll just ignore them... i know it was months ago that happened, but i wasn't natural on what i felt then, i was just masking it all... now i feel the anger towards them... i am just really pissed off at them... and disappointed... and they call us a family... my gulay!!

sighs!!! these are the types of creatures who should be slayed down... putsa talaga oh...

yeah... i won't be plastic... just ignore them. i have better things to do than looking over a bunch of low-lives... (ouch! sorry im just really pissed at them)

anyways... i'll just post this blog once i got a prepaid online card...

---o0o---

August 2, 2005 / 12:20am

yes... im still awake.

kakatapos ko lang sa take-home exam for my philo 171 that i will submit it later at 1pm.

nways, kausap ko si jax kanina sa phone... wala lng... talked about a lot of things... w/c i kinda missed it... just like the old times back then... pero sobrang kulit ko at i was forcing myself na may mapag-usapan kami para lang di ma-cut yung line... but now things have changed, but the friendship is still there (parang tumibay pa ata eh)...

now i see my mistakes... and so far, i think papabayaan ko na muna... yeah, i'll juts let it be... di muna ako magda-damage control or something sort of like that... bahala na nga si batman, ika nga...

pero right now, im just gonna have some breather na muna... something like my sabbatical, only longer and minus the being away... i think i can do that... i guess i have to be distant muna from my friends at school... kasi baka mapa-ano pa sila sa kabaliwan ko... hehehe

ano ba ito...? mixed na yung sinasabi ko... my gulay?!

i think i'll just stick to the breather na muna nga... relax... focus on the important things... then when i get enough strenght... i kick ass na!

hehehe

o cya... tutulog na rin ako...

laterz... :P

August 1, 2005 / 8:30pm

what a good way to start the month of August... and im saying this in a very sarcastic tone. i got no sense of reality today... also known as, NGARAG ako the whole day. yeah, i got to finish, or atleast did something for my methodolgy part of my thesis... and i also got to finish my transcription for my RA work-gig... and the worst thing went on, i went flaw-down for my practical administration of the WAIS-III test... and i hate it so much... nag-nerbyos ako big-time... my friends wasn't aware, but during that time, my heart was beating dead-fast and my hands were shaking as hell... and there-there... i blundered out and went unrealistic and became unprepared... sighs...

hay naku... now, im suppose to do my take-home exam for my pihlo 171 class... and im still tired... syet!

can someone give me the enough strenght to atleast finish this exam tonight... di ko na nga muna gagawin yung swimming workout ko 2mrw nga eh, baka sa wednesday nlng... hay buhay.

sighs... im feeling such a screwball lately... first with isa... then some of my FA friends... then now with my ka-psych family too... what a screw-ball am i?!?!?

now i do feel like a failure...

*it is just me... and later on, ill move on anyways...

o cya...


laterz...

July 31, 2005 / 3:03pm

well, im kinda in deep crap right now... kasi i just found out kanina na due lahat ng mga pending RA works for myra's 2mrw (monday)... and so far kulang akong ng transcriptions ng mga audio files... and im way in deep crap right now... GOSH!!!

now, im just taking a 5-10 minute rest... tapos balik na ako sa work... buti natapos ko na rin yung draft ng methodology ko... kung hinde, panic na talaga ako... hay naku...

yung take-home exam naman sa philo 171, kaya ko tapusin 2mrw naman eh... kaya no biggie on that...

yesterday, i hang-out with jax... well i wasn't suppose to hang out tlaga... pero, i miss my best friend, kaya i hang-out for a while... and so far, tinulugan niya ako... pero, ok lng naman, pagod yung tao at kakagaling lng niya from sa cold... and he needs some rest... anyways, it gave me a deep thought on how i appreciate my friends... and to never again, take advantage of the trust and kindness of my friends... i just really love my friends!!!

anyways... have to go back to work...

wish me luck.

laterz...

July 25, 2005 / 9:23pm



i just cnt believe that there are a lot of comic-based films that are coming up lately... after the Fantastic Four... there's Aeon Flux... then Ghost Rider... and X-MEN 3 (whohoo!!)

anyways... i got to watch this a few weekends back with jax... wala lng... it's cool naman... funny yung flick... and somehow i cnt wait for the sequel of it...

hay naku... daming comic movies to watch... hehehe!!

and also, cnt wait for the dvd copies of these flicks. :P

o cya... wala lng. im just bored nga eh... hehehe :P


laterz... c",)

July 25, 2005 / 9:17pm



wala lng... i didn't notice that Marvel gave a big break for Spider-Woman I... i suddenly remembered the cartoon i used to watch during the late 80's... yeah, there was the spider-woman cartoon... hehehe... sobrang lame pa noon yung animation, compare it with the toons today... but i can say its a classic. i wish i can find it on dvd minsan, tapos bibilhin ko to watch it...

just something to reminise about childhood... hehehe :p


laterz...

July 25, 2005 / 7:11pm

well, im quite done with my draft of my methodology for my thesis, w/c is due this thursday. anyways... 2mrw is back to reality... yeah balik school uli ako.

hay naku, this long weekend is quite something boring... kasi konti lng ang nagawa ko eh... yeah, i got ot read one of the books my ate joy gave to me... ayon...

sighs... wala lng...

nways... bahala na bukas... but i have to meet up with seth nga pla 2mrw, papasama ako for the boxing class eh... im planning to start na talaga... conscious effort, plus i need more natural endorphins... to make me naturally happy... yehey!! :P

cge na...

laterz. c",)

July 23, 2005 / 10:51pm

just got home from driving my parents... and yeah while driving them i got to read the books my sister bought for me from the States... i started reading the APA book, galing. i got good info and i think i can add it to my review of related literature as well as for the analysis for my research methods. hay naku, so far im getting the hang of doing my thesis again... good-good i think.

anyways, i got to spill some beans to my parents. that i planned to take up a masteral course in forensic psych sa australia... and somehow, supportive nman, kaso it is still a plan... and it aint gonna solidify until the results of my thesis comes out good... anyways, atleast na sabi ko... yon lng.

hay naku... i miss my friends... sina israel, seth, jobi and the rest of my FA family... kahit most of them naman nakikita ko twing pasukan... kaso magiging busy na uli ako for my thesis... kaya im planning to finish my methods by monday night, para di na ako magkra-cram sa wedensday... kasi reserved na yung wednesday for my FA family... yeah, joy-ride kami papuntang cartimar ng lunch time... hehehe :P

anyways... gotta get some rest na rin for the day...

laterz... c",)

July 23, 2005 / 7:14am

well, its a saturday... rest day from school... and it's gonna be a three-day weekend, kasi it's a holiday on monday... w/c gives me enough time to finish my methodology for my thesis... and also catch up with my readings for my thesis, kakakuha ko lng kasi ng mga libro ko na pinadala ng ate ko from the States. two new good book as i can say... wow!! now i can make a good literature review and add more on my furtue analysis for my thesis later on.

anyways, i miss my friends... and i think the theme of this week was "have the right people to be you friends...aka trusting people" kasi that the highlights of the events that happened during the week eh. anyways, i miss my friends (from the ka-psychs to my FA family) yon lng so far... i miss them.

anyways, gotta prep-up na rin for something today, i think kasama na dito yung sa thesis... magbabasa na muna ako.

o cya... wish me luck.

laterz.

July 21, 2005 / 6:58pm

im drunk right now... but that will not stop me on watching ALiAS later.

anyways, i guess it has to happen... and so far, i liked it... i got to have a rapport with the two people i respected much in class, Girad & Mouse (mr & mrs aquino)... well, it started in our exam kanina... naki-join ako sa kanila for the group exam... and luckily i got to be the interviewee... and somehow i got to open up (a gate)... and later on, after class... nag one for the road kaming tatlo lng... inom... talked about KPA, the legacy-scandal, thesis, me (napaka-narcisisstic ba... hehe) and other stuff... pati na rin yung crush ko sa kay mouse nung freshie pa ako... hehehe... but anyways, everything were cool naman...

hay naku... mdyo saya na rin tong araw na to... mdyo i have to make a small damage control kay seth... parang pissed off siya sa akin eh... anyways, yon lng...

o cya... mdyo pahinga na muna ako... and wish me luck on everything.

laterz!! c",)

July 20, 2005 / 10:26pm

what FUCKING day today!!!

it started when i was really bored at school... then being bored again before my psych class... then being fooled by a hybrid transferee to a 'pseudo' FGD, but a Legacy talk-recruiting scheme...

That ASSHOLE!! what a JERK!! and im talking about M.A. the transferee... 'it' made me pissed off... and not just me... pati yung mga ka-psychs ko, pissed off sa kanya... grrr!!!

i have never been this pissed off since i was left ng mga FAs noong March of this year... this one really pissed me off to the max!!! he took advantage of our kindness and trust... (somehow, now i felt how Jax felt then...) then again, that jerk will have to pay for what he did...

nakaka-asar talaga... nangingit-ngit ako sa galit, inis at pagdismaya sa kanya... my gulay!!!

anyways, the day isn't good also, kasi nalaman ko na sumali si israel sa frat, and i saw the bruises sa arms nya... disappoints me... kasi i remember him telling stuff before na di sya sasali sa mga ganun at he has a stand against fruitless initiation rites... well, kinain nya ang mga sinabi nya... kinda shows a weak character, but who ami to judge a friend. but im quite disappointed nga lng.

hay naku... this aint my day... i wish i could get out again like before and do my "calling" again... but i cnt... not yet. there's still a lot more things to settle...

anyways... gotta sleep na muna... para mawala tong asar, inis at dismaya na nbigay nitong araw na ito...

laterz.

July 18, 2005 / 9:32pm

brain-drain today... as in my brain is not working properly today... and i think it's shouting that it needs its rest...

well, tough luck... but anyways, i must have atleast have those bit-by-bit rest periods, just to control and avoid being sick due to stress-related work...

my day today was quite good na rin, kasi Isa waved at me first and i waved back... and seeing her makes my day happy... and i miss her... and im hoping i could hang-out with her na... and be friends talaga... i like her... and i wanna be friends with her.

anyways... my heart is shouting it all out right now... i think its the brain being off... hay naku.

i guess i have to sleep this out na muna and try to pin myself on the ground for a while... until this craziness is gone (i hope not... and i hope this turns out to be 'the one')...

o cya... papahinga na nga muna ako...

laterz...

July 17, 2005 / 9:52pm

well, this is my plan... I just computed what i needed to buy a PS2 after my defense this sept/oct... so far my aim is to have P11,320.00 by September 2005... anyways... have to SAVE. SAVE. & SAVE!!! para i cud really buy a PS2 as a reward for my thesis and all the i've been thru...

hay naku... now i have to work on some homeworks for psych 162... mdyo nahihirapan nga ako to what to do for the interview eh... anyways, i'll just read some hand-outs nlng... pressure (kinda lng...)

anyways, i have to save up na rin for my comics... may mga pending pa kasi dun sa market-market eh... anyways, i plan to get it... probably, worst case, next weekend...

Oh, yeah... pati na rin yung service-work ko sa school... hay naku... stress & pressure... but, hey... kakayanin ko 'to!!

anyways... give me strenght... and wish me luck.

laterz. c",)

July 15, 2005 / 10:26am

tinatamad akong mag-service kay baba ngayon... pero, i have to make really-good bawi sa kanya... hmmm... baka later ng hapon, yung 1 & 1/2 hr break ko, service ako... anyways... right now, i have the sniffles again... damn allergies!!!

anyways, maya naman ay wall-climbing kami ng hapon mga psych... yahoo!!! :P

hay naku... mdyo break muna ata ako sa thesis ko... but still, i have to do the possible methods for research... kasi in 2 weeks na yng due... anyways, break na muna ko dun for a day or two...

maya nlng ako papasok... di muna ako papakita sa skul... baka kasi maisip ng ibang tao dyan, may hidden agenda ako sa pag-interview ng ka-psych ko sa crush ko... hehehe (evil... hehehe!!)

anyways... have to chill out and rest na nga muna... if ever aalis ako... mayang mga 11, idadaan ko yung mga dvd na papapalit ko sa metrowalk...

o cya...

laterz!! :P

July 11, 2005 / 7:24pm

so far, im having a lot of things to fix up... these are the following:

-damage-control on the this that happens with the girl that im so falling...
-get some way to get added local references for rel.lit. ng thesis ko...
-revision of my review of related literature, which is due this thursday...

so far, yon lng... and right now, im quite sad... kasi, it happened again... i messed things up (again!)... even if i wanted to do some damage-control... wag muna... cool off na muna... and i hate this part...

i think iwas na muna ako... i think yon na muna...

o cya... BUT, i will try not to cry this out...

laterz.

July 8, 2005 / 5:31am

im having a hard time right now... hindi tungkol sa thesis or anything school-related. im having a hard time on what im feeling towards someone. to be honest, i wasn't expecting this to come... i always said to myself that i'll enjoy my single life and hopefully meet the 'one' after i graduate college... then it somehow changed... cuz i met someone that really hit me, made me fall and now i cnt take her out of my mind... anyways, i think the civil thing and the not-harmful way to approach this is to be friends with her first... or be friends with her . just to keep things in perspective muna.

i think this is the part that says, dnt quit... not just yet. anyways, i ever i see her today, or the coming days, i could just be with her more, not just saying 'hi' or 'musta'... my gulay!! im really hit hard this time with someone... sighs!!! really srtong feelings towards her... and not in a green way... more of love and liking...

anyways, i have to stop thinking of her always, it might distract some of my plans... but it's to keep a straight face (but i have no choice... i have to be this, for a while)...

wish me luck and keep me sane.


laterz.

July 7, 2005 / 7:24pm

well, i got a 2.0 for my 1st draft of my related literature... i think its good enough na rin... kasi mdyo good-good na rin daw yung lit ko, sabi ni mam myra... medyo add pa at revise pa ng konti... which is good na for a reward of watching FF this weekend, and also celebrate the bdays of my friends too.

anyways... im having a confused feelings right now... grabe... i think im really falling for her... kahit mdyo nahirapan ako to have a poker-face act... seeing her and saying 'hi' sa kanya, makes my day complete... but im looking for more.. and im really falling for her... BUT, im sobrang torpe... and i dnt know how to initiate it... and i hate coming too strong, like last week (it was really crazy-bad-slightly good week... believe me!!)

anyways... if ever things are good this week, kahit patapos na sya... i wanna ask Isa out next weekend... pseudo date (or something)... wala lng.. pero... im too torpe/afraid to ask...

hay buhay... if God want it for me... it will be for me... i wnt force it nlng.

o cya... gotta finish something muna...

laterz.

July 6, 2005 / 8:48pm

im bored.

i should somehow celebrate, kasi natapos ko yung 1st draft ng related lit ko... but now, im bored. by the way, may exam pa pala ako 2mrw for psych 162... i should be studying na... but somehow, i dnt know what to study... well i know, pero quite a mix-y one... sighs.

im bored...

anyways... yon lng... i think.

oh, im quiting some things (and some people) in my life too... some sort of a 'filtering' thing... it's gonna be painful, but i think i have to... but anythings not final yet... i love them, and they love me...

anyways... im bored... too many things in my mind right now...

o cya... maya nlng.


laterz.

July 6, 2005 / 3:09pm

IM DONE WITH MY 1ST DRAFT OF MY RELATED LITERATURE... WOOOHOOOO!!!

now, im happy.... yey!!! :P

wala lng, i wasn't expecting that ill be finishing at 3 in the afternoon... but hey!!! anyways, there were some casualties from my research... but for sure maidadagdag ko pa ang mga iyan on further furnishing my thesis...

hay... what a relief... enjoy!!

reward ko dito, movie gimik with jax sa saturday... yup... we'll watch fantastic four this saturday... at bibili ako ng mga dvd... hehehe!!! (** worst case scenario, kung di natuloy kami ni jax, ill still watch the movie, with or without him... it's my reward, walang hahadlang! hehehe.)

anyways, 2mrw early ill be submitting this paper... wish me luck... blood and sweat ito!!!

hay... rest muna ako... magsi-zips muna ako... hehehe... exercise!!

laterz... :P

July 6, 2005 / 12:31am

it's way pass midnight... well, so far i got the needed local readings from ateneo-makati... kahit dalawa lng ang mga ito... but hey, i also got some good court cases as well.

anyways, later the whole day, i'll be FULL RESEARCH MODE again... but i'll be finishing the draft for my related lit the whole day... and i'll force myself to finish it and NO ONE WILL INTERRUPT me!!! basta, i'll finish whatever i'll be finishing... so after this, i'll sleep na and when i dropped my mom to work, i start reading and adding more info for my paper... i hope this will be a work-of-art... cause it's my 'baby'.

anyways, i have to go to sleep na nga...

by the way, got to chat with Isa for a while... and napansin nya na wala ako sa kalay these pass two day (uy!!! napapansin nya pala ako... yehey!! :P) hehehe... wala lng...

o cya... maya nlng uli.


laterz c",)

July 4, 2005 / 6:56pm

it is official... i'll be going to ADMU Rockwell for research... and the good thing is i'll be commuting... tipid na rin sa gas and pera. tapos, i'll be meeting up with kuya 2mrw too for my CAP check... hay naku... i'm still on FULL RESEARCH MODE... and im hoping that i'll be finishing the draft by wednesday night...

anyways, i'll be going back to work in a little while...

laterz... c",)

July 4, 2005 / 11:15am

im not going to school 2day... so this is it... i'm in FULL RESEARCH MODE 2day until wednesday morning... yupyup. right now i got some more info about forensic psych... ill just add them to my related lit in a while.

then 2mrw ill be going to Ateneo Rockwell for research... the whole day... around 10am to around 4pm... i just pray and hope that i can get the sufficient article and data i needed for my related lit... para di na ako pupunta sa UP Law on wednesday... para focus nlng ako sa pagtapos ng 1st draft ko ng related lit, w/c is due on thursday morning...

hay buhay... wish me luck... and i pray for strenght, so i can endure this madugong sapalaran.

laterz. :)

July 3, 2005 / 6:25pm

just came home from driving my parents sa clinic for my dad's check-up... and somehow i got to see for the 1st time Gateway Mall... WOW!!!

and i saw the branch ng fully booked dun... grabe!! and i saw the illustraded version ng angels & demons... and i saw the both version of it... and i reserved the one that looks like the one i bought (the da vinci code illus version)... and it is a hundred pesos cheaper. anyways, im planning to get it nxt weekend... and i think it wont affect the saving i planned for the buying the PS2 after my thesis defense...

anyways, yon plng... and now i have to go back to work... and from 2mrw til wednesday ill be on FULL RESEARCH MODE...

wish me luck.

laterz c",)

July 3, 2005 / 12:29pm

i made up my decision, i wnt be attending school this week, except for thursday & friday. kasi from monday (2mrw) until wednesday i will rush to finish my reseacrh on getting local readings from either UP law library or ADMU-Rockwell library or both... so full-research mode ako until wednesday afternoon. then aside from that, i should added them up to my draft of Related Literature for my thesis which will be due this thursday. the pressure is too much, but as i said before (and coming from the Adidas ad, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE... IMPOSSIBLE is NOTHING!!)... and whoever stands on my way, will be hurt badly (even if they are my friends!)

then by friday... hopefully its back to normal and the adrenaline rush and all are back to its equilibrium... hay naku... it's like those missions on spys... hehehe... naks!! feeling Interpol / CIA agent uli ako.. hehehe :P

anyways... have to go back to my work on this thesis...

and by the way, im good... everything that happened lately was crazy... hehehe.

laterz. c",)

July 2, 2005 / 7:56pm

i made small error... i gave in that easily... and now, i somehow fell into the pit... and rigth now, i just got out and learned from that mistake na... now, things will fall into the places that i planned to fall on to. monday will be something...

anyways, yung amats from the drinking session kanina gave some clear perspectives and the things that seth told me gave me some plan... w/c means a plan is forming and again, it will be me, alone, again... sighs!!! (when will this be something new... going all renegade again... sana may ibang strat naman on the next mission...hehehe)

right now and 2mrw (sunday)... ill be starting to do my thesis... and i have to make a rush-rush on the research sa UP Law... kasi sa wednesday pa ako makakapunta and this coming thursday na ang due ng draft ng Related Literature... this only means one thing... NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!!

my mission / goal is set... and no one... NO ONE will ruin it... and whoever gets in my way... will suffer my wrath!!! (kahit kaibigan ko man sila... they'll not be exempted)

anyways...have to start na rin...

wish me luck...

for the time to take control is back...



laterz.