Shifting Sand

Shifting Sand

Sometimes I believe all the lies
So I can do the things I should despise
And every day I am swayed
By whatever is on my mind

I hear it all depends on my faith
So I'm feeling precarious
The only problem I have with these mysteries
Is they're so mysterious

And like a consumer I've been thinking
If I could just get a bit more
More than my 15 minutes of faith,
Then I'd be secure

(Chorus)
My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace

I've begged you for some proof
For my Thomas eyes to see
A slithering staff, a leperous hand
And lions resting lazily

A glimpse of your back-side glory
And this soaked altar going ablaze
But you know I've seen so much
I explained it away

Chorus

Waters rose as my doubts reigned
My sand-castle faith, it slipped away
Found myself standing on your grace
It'd been there all the time

(Chorus repeated)
Stand on grace

why worry?

... after reading this, it gave me some perspectives on how i see things... it's kinda funny that the insecurities a person can experience... hahaha!! life and love is a very funny thing. they can make you fill the pain then laugh it out after the turmoil... :P

WHATA!!!

Your Element Is Water

A bit of a contradiction, you can seem both lighthearted and serious.That's because you're good at going with the flow - but you also are deep. Highly intuitive, you tune in to people's emotions and moods easily.You are able to tap into deep emotional connections and connect with others. You prefer a smooth, harmonious life - but you can navigate your way around waves.You have a knack for getting people to get along and making life a little more peaceful.

What's" Your Element?

again... im water?!? i was hoping for air... anyways nuthing to do but to try out the funny test online... hehehe :P

hmm... maybe it's a sign to wash away all things that bug in my head... then coming out clean. (hhmmm... oo nga 'no... pwede!)

again... next time uli.

laterz!!! c",)

i'm cyclops!?!?!

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause. You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them. Power: force beams from your eyes

Which of the X-Men Are You?

i can't believe it!?! i'm cyclops... i was hoping more of a Phoenix or Magneto... not someone wimpy mutant who died at the 2nd part of the movie... anyways, this test isn't psychtest-friend... who am i kidding anyways! hahaha!! :P sometime i'm a wimp too... it's part of human nature (sometimes...)

haha... oh well... wala kasing magawa ngayon eh... :P

nways, yon lng... laterz!! c",)

x'mas wish list 2006...

well in a few months time, christmas season is back... and by 2mrw... it's the 'ber' months already...

so here's my x'mas wish list...!

- an Ipod video (w/c my sister will give it to me just in time for the holiday season... whooppee!!)













- a PS2.... the slim type ('cuz it's been years that i've wanting to have this console... and now, i have the savings, i cud have my own PS2!!!! bwahahaha!!)













- a new TV (not just an ordinary TV.... but a flat screen TV!!! its a sony wega... i just saw the price a few weeks back... and somehow it's calling me... and with the price of 10K, who wouldn't say 'no' to that!!!! hahaha!!!)













- lastly... X-Men: The Last Stand dvd (though, it will be out by October... i'm gonna buy it as part of my x'mas wish list... hehehe!!!)
















...oh yeah... somewhat of a good news, i might be staying @ TDS until the x'mas season... that's why i'm bold enough to plan these kinds of stuff for me this coming yuletide season... hohoho on that!! :P (ititiis ko nlng itong making calls... ok na rin naman eh... the colleagues at works are quite a-ok na rin eh...)

ayon... that's my list so far... sana makuha ko lahat ang mga iyon!! c",)

anyways, just got my salary... mdyo mababa, pero ox lng... i treated my family with pizza nung pag-uwi ko kanina... though, i wanna treat my best friend... kasi parang mataggal na rin kami di nagkita... hehehe... 2mrw, before i got to work, i'll be depositing some to the bank. i'm thinking 30% of it will go there na muna, tapos the next sweldo, 40% naman... (wish ko lng... :P)

ayon... cge, yon na muna...


laterz!!! c",)

thank god for broadband...

it's official... i'm using broadband connection here at home. yehey!! i'm online again here at home... i could start blogging regularly again...


anyways, 2mrw is a new change for me... well more of a 'go-back' thing... 'cuz i'll be starting to drive my mom again before i go to work... w/c is kinda sux, in some other level... kasi gastos sa gas at sa oras ko... but it's too early to tell... i'll know it by 2mrw morning.

hay buhay... gago kasi yung driver namin eh... such an a-hole eh...


nways... so far im doing good... so far... though i'm quite a-ok, i'm still doing the 'one-a-day' gig with what i'm doing...

i think so far... hehehe that's it na muna...

blog ya laterz!!! :P

complicated as it is... difficult pa rin... :P

I am a difficult person… well, I know I’m a complicated person, more on the eccentric side (hehehe), but I just realized that I am a difficult person… and I thank my friends, especially the people who are close to me (if you guys got to read this… well, you know who you are naman eh…), thanks talaga for sticking up on my side and being there when I need you, kahit makulit ako.

Well, recent events got me think through and somehow analyzed myself again… and yeah, when I was listening to the radio a while ago about people being difficult… well, yeah, I guess I’m one of those people who are difficult on certain times (or most of some times… labo ‘no? hehehe) anyways… I really thank my friends for being my anchor and being there when I need them, even when sometimes I can’t directly say what my concerns are… (thanks bro! Thank you mga berks!!)

Nways, I’m quite bored again here at work… well more of sleepy than bored (but then again, sleepiness is the result of being bored…) the pool sucks (again). Though, it’s a Friday today, another weekend of rest for me… though, I’m still thinking if I should go to the gym this weekend…para at least matanggal ‘tong stresses from this week… tska sana ok na rin yung gym buddy ko para sabay uli kami, busy kasi palagi eh… :P

Feeling ko, I’ve been through a lot this past few days… or it is just me being down and stressed out… lots of thing in my mind and most of these things aren’t really suppose I should think about it… oh men… me and my insecurieties… it’s really one of those moments that I really want to get out and just vent off my stresses… buti nga at weekend na uli.


Oh yeah, on the lighter side of things… I’ll be having an iPod Video by x’mas, ‘cuz my sister from the US promised it as a x’mas gift… yehey on that! So that means, I’ll just have to save for a PS2 and a new TV for myself… hay… the perks of being single and earning for myself… hehehe :p

O cya… iyon na po muna… lately, I’m posting very complicated stuff on my blogs… maybe it’s just the season to be difficult… but hey!! Thanks guys for being there!!


Laterz… c",)


*I’m good naman talaga eh… :P

fsdjkhgfyhwahfhcgh!!!@@!!!

this stinks!!!

6 passed applicants for 2mrw... my quota so far is low... man!!! fuck it!!

it's boring talaga at nakaka-asar!!!


putang ina tong mga pool na to... grr!!



paksyet!!! punyemas na pool... tapos mga bad comm at bastos pa yung mga tinatawagan ko... sarap uapakan eh!!! shet sila!!!!


grrr....!!!

WHY WHY… fucking WHY?

This is the question that runs in my head right now. Yeah, It’s juys one word, but is has a lot of impact in my current stat lately… WHY?

Anyways, I’m here right now at work, doing the regular routine I’m doing for the pass 2 months… making calls. So far I have 5 passed applicants sched for 2mrw, 5 more to go…

Anyways, I can’t understand why would people who answers my call thinks I’m calling from Italy… or somewhere far away from this country… kinda makes me laugh for a moment… in some ways, pampatanggal ng stress at boredom dito sa work.

Hay naku… nakakabato na talaga ngayon… so far I’m calling from a grad-list… and so far puro bad comm at wrongs #s ang nangyayari… though, it’s godd for call-outs, pero I wanna accomplish my quota eh… (sarcastic laugh)

So far, I’m planning not to go to gym fo a while… WHY? ‘cuz of some reasons na I don’t wanna spit it out na muna dita sa blog… pero later on I’ll write it (probably pag naka-broadband na yung bahay) …no offense to my best friend, but I have to think some stuff and asses myself again. Tska di naman siya naggi-gym na rin eh…

Sighs… boring talaga ‘tong araw na ‘to… plus the fact na wala akong pera (nxt week pa yung payday) at walang load ang celfone ko… makes it more of a challenge to me to be happy for the whole day.

To be honest I wanna cry out thing right now, but I can’t do that… not yet. I wanna go up to a roof top or somewhere high, bast yung mahangin na lugar para to vent off… just like what I did during my college times…

A lot of WHYs in my head right now… so far, I do wanna answer them, but I can’t right now… why? ‘cuz it will just hurt my head right now and lost my focus for the day…

Too many WHYs… sighs!!

bro...dude... HELP!!!!

“I think so far I got everything that I need. We’ll evaluate you application together with other applicants that we are screening right now. If you qualify, you’ll get a call not later than 12noon tomorrow. So we can give you the details needed. If you didn’t get the call, that means other applicant closely met the requirements and we’ll keep your file in active status for the pooling of other position/vacancies.”


This is what I always say whenever I feel to fail an applicant or if the applicant is really bad in talking english. In some ways, it’s like some sort of my ‘power-tripping’ thing just to blow off some steam… or just plain ‘ol power-tripping… hehehe (with an evil tone)

ANYWAYS, I’m not doing well… to be honest. I’ve been experiencing a lot of panic-anxiety attacks… and this time in other aspect as well (ex. emotional & physical aspects) and it’s making me paranoid, scared, angry, pissed off and down right sad lately…

One thing that runs in my mind is the current job I’m into… yeah, I’m doing good… but somehow I’m not having that much fun-FUN… I hate being stuck in just one place all the time… kaya when the eveluation comes-in… it might give me help to decide on whether or not I should move-on or stay.

The other thing is quite more emotional…yeah, aside from what happened last week with one of my colleagues (RE: saying the B word…) there’s the “thing” that bugs me again… I thought it was dormant (or died a year ago)… I was wrong… and plus that fact that things around me (and myself as well) has changed… it’s kicking back again… and I hate this feeling… I wanna talk it out to my best friend about it, cuz he’s the only one who knows it, I’m quite afraid that he might get mad at me (or something painful for us)…

Oh men, this fuck things up!!! (SIGHS!!)

ANYWAYS, I’m here at working right now, just had my lunch… and yeah, the same old routine for the past 2 months…yeah, I’ve been working here for 2 months… same place, same routine… interviewing potentials applicants for this call-center. Hay buhay…

I miss a lot of my old life… though, I’m really excited about the new things in me… it’s really the adapting & adjusting that makes it hard… oh men… too many complex thoughts in my head…

One thing I wanna do right now… talk to my best friend. Talk about the things that bugs me… because I know it’s him who could help me out. Bro if you are reading this… I need to talk to you… soon… help me out… I’ve given you the letter 3-months ago… I need your help. (there… that’s my SOS)


Hay… I think thats it for now… HELP!!


Laterz…

something new...

Right now every thing’s quite a-ok… I think.

The damage-control I did was quite smooth… I think.

But it’s too early to tell… I think so… right?



Yet still, im somehow adapting to what is to be in a working environment… it’s really a challenge for me… big time. And it’s also something new. I guess this is my new fight.

Student life is over… now is the time to face what reality is… and so far, I suck in it. Hehehe

I have to stumble down hard… again. But hey!! I tend to rise and face my fears away… I’ve always been a survivor… I guess I can withstand this one… and I have to.

Sigh… kaya ko ‘to!!!

Ako pa!! c”,)

Anyways, I think that’s it na muna…

Laterz…. :P

currently working...

yes... right now im working here in my desk... making calls / recruiting people from baguio... anyways, so far, im getting a lot of CCs (can't contacts)... mdyo stressful na hinde... pero ox lang naman...

nways... gulat ko nga na nakakapag-blog ako dito sa office desk ko...

hay naku.... gusto ko na rin minsan umuwi with this crazy-rainy weather... sighs.

back to what's bugging me lately... yeah, my insecurities are somehow knocking again... but hey... im not giving in naman eh... hehehe! :P

nways (uli!)... balik na muna ako on making my calls...

later uli...


LATERz!! c",)


**yeah, im still cool... :P

ang tagal...

it's been a long time since i've blog something here... well, so far, so good... i guess...

i'll be finding some time blog some stuff later... 'cuz there are, lately, thing that bugs me... yeah.. i just have to release it through my blogs...

anyways, im here at the patry of e-tel... having my lunch break...

kaya, once i get online at home... i'll be able to update my blog regularly, i hope on that...

neways... yon n muna...


i miss blogging... to many thing to blog... cge, catch-up na lang muna ako later...


laterz... c",)

doing it right (i guess)....

so far im having quite a hard time to adjust here at work, though i somehow find the job very challenging becuase of the calls i'm doing and the quota to achieve a day... but somehow i'm still trying to achieve to the goal of at least / more than 8 passed applicants. i'm still working on how to reach the 100 call-outs a day, cuz so far, i'm still at the range of 50-65 call-outs a day, w/c can be a big point against me if i'm gonna be evaluated.

and add to the fact that i'm just the only guy in our group... it's quite hard to adapt to what they are talking, plus i feel like somehow alienated and intimitated by them... but though i see that during work they encourage me to strive more, but i somtimes feel a "dead air' around it... but i guess i'm just feeling insecure and somehow still trying to understand them and women in general... (sighs)

and yeah, i was able to go the gym yesterday with my best friend... buti naman at natuloy yung plan and i'm really hoping it will continue and the plan na magtutulungan would really be real... and yeah also, i was able to try-out the free trial work-out at fitness first last thursday, though i somehoe enjoyed the work-out at fitness first, i really felt OP when i was training there... and while training with my best friend, i felt like yung samahan namin is really getting stronger...

though there was a thought to back out a few days ago, because it made me remember the things we planned before or talked about pero di naman na tuloy... kaya i was quite assuming na this plan of going to the gym would be part of those things that wouldn't happen, just gonna be mentioned or talked but never gonna materialized... but i'm really happy that it materialized yesterday and it will be a continuous thing... sa totoo lng, bonus na lang yung pagiging fit eh, it's more of spending more time to hang-out with my best friend, kasi i know he'll be a lot busy this time becuase of his thesis and researches kaya the time spent hanging out would be lesser than nung summer... pero atleast nagawan ng paraan to hang-out by going to the gym during weekends... ayon lng. c",)

i guess i did choose the right way in continuing the gym gig with my best friend...i can't wait for next weekend uli and the next engagements to come...

ayon... i guess thats it for now... im really happy for the gym gig, cuz it really happened yesterday... and the thing with work, im hoping i can adjust fast by this week... so i cud make a few more calls, more than 60+ (or make it a hundred)... heheh :P

so... yon na muna...


laterz...!

here currently at work... and having my stomach rumble...

it's lunch time... so that means i can use the free internet access here at work...

anyways, i was 15 minutes late a while ago... the reason, i can't do #2... though, there was a slight poop that went off... i still feel constipated right now... and add to that my tummy is rumbling too... oh men!!

anyways, i think that's it for now... i wish my parents would fetch me later so i won't be commuting later... nakakapagod rin eh...

oh yeah, ill be starting my gym routine this weekend with my best friend... it's a good start to be fit, lean & healthy!!! c",)

nways... that's it muna...


laterz... :P

so far so good...

i got to start working last tuesday (6/13) at TDS in Ortigas, then i was shipped to E-Telecare in Libis last thursday (6/15)...

somehow, i was having quite a hardtime on the first day in e-tel, becuase the script was quite a tongue-twister at first, but then i got the hang of it later that noon and did my calls as a phone screener for e-tel... then the following day (friday, 6/16) i didn't made any calls, becuase i'm still a newbie and i observed the right way to make calls... so far, i'm getting the flow of the script and how to properly screen applicants. and by 2mrw (monday, 6/19) i'll be starting to really screen applicants and also i'll be observed by the head recruiter officer of e-tel, which i see nothing wrong but anyways makes me kinda nervous too...

oh well, so far, im quite enjoying the job i'm doing... though it's quite tiring for my voice and my saliva, plus commuting home is also tiresome... a good nights sleep is always a desire every time i go home form work.

oh yeah, 2 weeks from now, on the the 30th of this month (friday) i'll getting my first salary!!! yehey!! :P

once i got the salary, i'll save the following (for gym, for my comics and a portion for my remaining balance for my tuition) and the rest (or half of what's left) will go to my savings account. and what's left will be our the family and my allowance... i know it's not that much yet, cuz i started almost half of the month... but it's a good start na rin, dba?

hay naku... i think that's it na muna... if i have the time during work (more on my lunch breaks) i'll try to blog what's happening to me...

oh yeah... i forgot... i have my own local number and my own cubicle (with a PC!!!) though i can't save my files, cuz it's used for recruitment purposes, having a PC and my own local # is quite something to brag paminsan-minsan... hehehe :P



aahh... i think that's it for now... :P


laterz... c",)

thus it begins...

tomorrow starts a new chapter in my life...
being a young, early 20's urban professional in the Human Resource industry.

a Yuppie for HR.

though it is connected to the course that i finished, i'm still in search for what my other potential are. yes, there are more potential that can be triggered inside my head. and i'm not being mayabang, i'm just being modest to tell. :D

anyways, the 1st 2 days of my work, starting 2mrw, i'm assigned at TDS at Ortigas then on thursday, the 3rd day of my work, i'll be assigned at E-Telecare in Libis. and i'll be assigned there until my bosses decides to either put me back at TDS or assign me to other call center. and i'm assuming that the relocation would be after i'm eveluated three months from now... so, hopefully, i'll be working in Lbis for three months...

though, i miss being in college and, somehow, leaving some of my friends there... i have to move on and have a place in society, right? and i see that the connections and bonds i have to my friends are still intact... though i cannot check on them always, because i tend to gain new friends in every new situation i am into, i can still contact them in a lot of ways. with technology getting bigger, the world is getting small by the days... though, yeah, i'll really gonna miss them, specially the ones at kalay (some of the psychs-pips & FA pips), i'll do my best to keep in touch with them... :D

hay, this is it... work... so far, clothing-wise, i'm somehow prepped-up na rin... i have 3 slacks already and the polos are sufficient enough to survive a weeks work...

i am ready... to face this new chapter... i can (and proud) to say that i have survived a lot of things... whatever things i face, i'll see it as a challenge... and i can face MY challenges (focus on the MY part... 'cuz it's my life. my problems. my decisions. MY CHALLENGES)

nways, wish me luck on 2mrw's adventure...

laterz... c",)


O yeah... HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY to all FILIPINOS!!! Mabuhay tayong lahat!!! (and i hope & pray for POSITIVE changes for our country and to our fellow men)

a new leaf by tuesday...

i was able to pass the training yesterday... well not to be mayabang or something, i was the 2nd highest in the class, with a 91% overall score... yey on that! :P

anyways, i'll be starting on my first job this tuesday... then on thursday, i'll be assigned in Libis, the E-Telecare call center office, but i'm still an employee of TDS.. i'll just make phone screening interview for E-telecare...

i'm quite excited, cuz i'll be earning money for myself... but quite scared, becuase it's a new environment for me, working environment to be exact. and though i still have an uncertain feeling, i'm seeing it as a new oppurtunity for me to widen my potential...

(sigh) i'm still thinking on what to buy on my 1st salary... though, still, i'm really gonna pay the remaining balance at kalay... i want to reward myself on something... hmm... pero sa 30th pa nman yon eh, mdyo matagal pa... plus i'll be saving some of my salary for gym, cuz i made a commitment with my best friend that we're gonna be gym-buddies (and yeah, fix my gym sched with my work sked)

haay... this is it... something new... and just more than a month after i graduated from college... hahaha! :P

o cya, that is it for now...


laterz... c",)

NEVER EAT at a Mini-Stop shop...

this is the leasson i've learned for today, and hopefully for the rest of my working life...

the food, even if it has a tasty look... it's just the looks. and as the saying goes... looks can kill (literally, with these kinds of food they sell)

anyways, 1st day of training for my improvement of my english skills was quite a-ok... though it was really tiring (add the commuting going there & going home)...

and the pressure of my potential bosses to pass the training was quite noticeable a while ago... and i'm guessing that there's a possibility that i could get assigned at their office at Libis, QC... w/c is also good for me, but im not expecting anything yet. i'm just focused on getting 85% or higher on my english skill by friday...

nways, hope for the best for me on this....

now... i have to rest, cuz im really quite drained out for the day... i'll just eat dinner and sleep early, cuz 2mrw i have to wake up early again... buhay xavier nga uli ako... and this time, i'm getting paid....hehehe :P


laterz!!! c",)

the perks of being a taong-bahay

yeah... my last weekend before i settle down to being a 'yuppie' (bwakang ina to!! i hate that term... i miss college life!)

anyways, my parents and my sister are out... and im just here... chillin' down... i wish i could invite my best friend here right now to hang-out (but he's out of town)... anyways, i'll just clean my room and just try to watch some dvds here...

hay... so far, im excited to go to my first job... it's like going to school for a new school year... and yeah... there's the jitters of meeting new people and having new friends (and new people to abhor)...

so far, so good... i'm quite relax of all things right now... just keep an open and clear mind on things...

i think yon na muna... for now... i'll blog now and then (kung may oras, pero i'll try to make time para just to blog-in what's happening to me...)


laterz... c",)