sos...

...


i hate it and now... i don't know how fix it... i wanna fix this soon as possible... danm!! i'm so stupid not to make actions before... sana i had the balls to talk with my best friend before... now, i'm being paranoid again and i'm afair it will be just like 2004...the year of greatest depression... and i don't want to come back to square one again!! i just really hate being like this... being depress because of my insecurity and my other bad stuff i want out of my system...

i need help!!! and i dnt know how to ask for it!!! i know the person who can help this... but i'm quite afraid to really ask for it!! I NEED HELP!!!

damn!! i just really hate this feeling of being all alone with no one to be with or to reach for help... i feel so alone right now... i feel like im just on a corner laying down dead... can't move or can't even think clearly... more like catatonic state... i just hate being depress!!!


HELP me bro!!!

i'm a jerk... so far that's it.

i am a selfish person... i just want to be happy.

even if there are times i would extend my hand just to help someone i care... then just one moment of selfishness, thou it's not actually intended to be a selfish act (again, i just want to be happy) things go crazy... thou i saw my mistake, things, i think, are different after...

thou in my part, i was waaaay too excited and too self-centered to let my 'id' take control of me... but who cares...

...ayaw ko na rin patulan pero, it really makes me guilty sa pagagamali ko... thus making me think deeply... and i hate thinking deep... makes me depress, sad and paranoid... like i thought i felt i was palpitating... heart was beating fast... a feeling that i thought it will never happen again...

it has been a while...

lately, i would post my journal entries on my other blog... my LJ account.

but thinking it thru... i miss this blog too... so i'm deciding that i'll post most of my other emo's here and the general ones on my LJ.... for example.... i'll post the things that happened on my LJ and i'll put the mixed-emo's on this blog...

in other words, this blog will be my outlet for my rants, shouts, frustrations, accomplishments and other mixed feeling of what i want to say... but can't say it.

...just like the previous blog entry... gets?

stupid rant...

* if that person is able to read this... sorry, i'm just ranting out the feelings i had during those times... because i don't have anyone to talk with regarding this... i'm just ranting it all out on this blog...

---------
ba't ganoon? when you needed that person to be with you... di siya sisipot.
for example...

it's my b-day... and for the past bdays you want that person to be there, because that person is somewhat special in my life, but sadly that person can't come and would just make lame excuses why that person wasn't able to come to my bdays...

then when there's a common friend who has bday, that same person would make ways to come to that common friends bday... later on that same person would ask me to tag-along with that common friends bday... later to inform you that it's not good to go to common friend's bday cuz im not invited... then later on that person would ask a 'big' favor if i could fetch that person and drive that person home... one thing, that person is drunk and the other thing is that person is scared to take a cab because that person is drunk...

me on the other hand is really stupid, to let that person take advantage of my trust... how stupid can i be?!?

i feel that every time a similar situation happens to me and involves that person... i feel that i have a mark on forehead that says STUPID!...


stupid... stupid... STUPID ME!!!

i need to watch a movie... just one... b4 this year ends...

laugh it out...

im at work right now... well, it's kinda bored, due to the pool and for the fact i just ate my lunch... anyways, i got to read this comic strip above and it made me laugh... and after that i felt kinda better...

hmm... i think every one needs a good laugh now and then just to ease up and lessen the stresses we face every day.

so just click on the comic above to see the larger version... and keep on laughing guys!! c",)


laterz.... :P

hehehe... ang saya ko... :P

yesterday, saturday... i drove my parents to one of our balik-bayan relatives for a visit... i wasn't aware that after i drove them, na nabili na nila yung isa sa mga pasalubong na ni-request ko before (w/c was almost a year ago)... it was the Marvel Select Phoenix (human variant)... it made my weekend cool!!

so far... i have 2 X-Men Marvel Select action figures (Ult. Wolverine & Phoenix... see the pic below)

anyways... i got 2 out of the 5 Marvel Select... and somehow, i see that if things go well... i'll be having that PS2 by X'mas... YEY!! (now i'm planning to get the Doc Ock figure... or if not, the Spider-Woman... worst, the Marvel Gashapon!!)

add to that the things i did, like doing the x'mas list-budget and planning my money wisely for the yuletide season.

ayon... so far so good... by this week or next i'll be starting my x'mas shopping. wish me luck!!

that's all for now...

laterz... c",)

chasing cars...

quite an interesting thing i saw a while ago when i was driving to my office...

i saw a couple getting into it while riding a cab, which was in front of me.... but im seeing it as a very sweet and passionate thing... because i see how much they love each other... thought, it made me realized later on that i need someone... but not right now... (i think?)

yeah, it sounds that i'm quite desperate or ranting out that im still not in a relationship...

wala lng... nainggit lang talaga ako sa couple na nkita ko kanina...

but if the higher powers has plans for me... so be it... bahala na si batman...

(thought, i wish magkaron na ako... but no rush...)


anyways, yon lng... have to go back to work and make some calls pa... :P


laterz... c",)

i just can't help it... isa pang celeb-look-alike.. hehehe :P

'di ko mapilig ang sarili ko... sobrang na-enjoy ko itong site na ito... :P






... ang gwapo ko!!! hehehe :P

comic relief... of what i do when i'm in coffee shops.

did this a thousand times... it's kinda funny if it's read thru this comic... but in reality, it sux! :P

boo!

i just hanged out at my best friends house... just watched some of the x-men toons that i brought at quiapo a week ago... remembering the time that i sooo went crazy over that cartoon... yeah, thoes were the times... too be honest, when i was watching it a while ago, i kinda miss being a kid... the fun of being a kid...

anyways, 2mrw is back to work... w/c kinda sux... but letting the kid inside me be out every time i'm at work makes it quite fun na rin...

buti just 2 more days at weekend na uli...

belated happy halloween and let's make this undas peaceful as it is... g'nyt! c",)

celebrity look-alikes... (enjoy 'to!)

i saw this site thru my best friend... so i tried it... at nakakatuwang gawin... sobrang naaliw ako... so juts click on the pix to try it guys!! enjoy!! :P



that girl from dawson's creek... ngek!?! :P



JK Rowling?! and that guy from that korean novela... this is getting into "something"... i wanna laugh. ha.ha.ha... :P



the Dalai Lama... wow!! i guess it has to do with the glasses... makes me look like more clark kent-y.
...james spader...i think it's the glasses talaga! hehehe :P



eto... last na... na-enjoy ko 'to... hehehe :p
ei!! Angel's there!! 'stig! c",)

at home... sick again and this time i have no voice...

right now, i'm sick again... and this time i have no voice. well i know i can go to work kanina, pero pag wala akong boses, i can't make calls... so it's better for me to just rest here at home until i get well enough to go back to work, hopefully 2mrw... worst, on monday.

anyways, i'll be going to the doctor for my check-up in a while... i hope it's not that bad... and i'm still planning to not to go to work 2mrw... para maging long weekend rest for me... the good thing naman ay may mga bagong dvds naman ako to watch eh... :P

anyways, have to prep up na for the check up... sasakay lang naman ako eh...

wish me the best!!

laterz...

home sick...

im sick and im at home... stupid colds!!!

plus i think im having a fever right now... this sux!! i blame being stressed lately... grr!!

handling good enough...

hay.. so far tatlo palang ang naiske-schedule for for 2mrw... and it's 11:15am... so by now, dapat may 4 o 5 na akong na-schedule... hay buhay...

so far i'm still quite stressed from last night... later i'll play tekken just to ease me...

sighs... i need a break... like a break-break... like going out to the beach or spa-massage break... and it's better if this break is with someone i need to be with... but anyways, a good break-rest would be fine... now

would be the best time... who ever is up there... now is the best time... pls? :P

anyways... mdyo good na rin ako... just have to stay intact for now...

i think i can manage this...

peace out!

"how do you handle stress?"

naranasan nyo na bang umuwing pagod.... umuwing sabik na sabik humiga sa inyong kama... PERO pag-uwi nyo ay lalo kang mabwibwiset sa makikita nyong kaguluhan sa sariling kwarto...

...at wala kang magawa kundi lalo pang mapagod dahil sa inis at galit na nararamdaman nyo...


yan ang nararamdaman ko ngayon...


at ngayon at sobrang stressed out na ako at di ko alam kung papaano ko ilalabas itong mga sama ng loobin ko... alam mo ba yung feeling na sobrang puno ka na at u just can't help it na to go somewhere and just let it all out, but you can't... i hate this kind of feeling... kasi lalong napupuno and i am afraid that one day i might explode unintentionally... grrr!!

tanginang stress!!! even now, writing on this blog isn't helping me anymore... DAMN!!! tangina!!!

to be honest... right now, im in a point that i want to punch the walls here in my room... well actually i did it kani-kanina lang... thou i know it's a stupid move, 'cuz my right hand is hurting, it's quite a good release... pero kulang pa. i just wanna hit something (or someone) right now...

if this stress didn't subdue by 2mrw... i'll hang-out at timezone and vent it off at tekken during all of my breaks!!!

tangina talaga... i've never been this stressed... the last time that i could remember was, i think a year ago... nung ayaw pa nila pa-opera ako for my gallstone removal and i have to wait for it to worsen para lang mapaopera ako, which took 7 months of burdens... GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

i hate everything right now!!! it may sound grumpy but it is... 'cuz of these stresses that i'm having... grrrr!!!



PUTANG INA!!!

PPPOOOOTTTAAANNNGIIIINNNNNAAAA!!!!!

SHHHHEEEEETTTTT!!!!!

PPPOOOOOTTTTTAAAAANNNGGGIIIIINNNAAAAAANNNNNNGGGGGGLLLLLLEEEECCCCCHHHHHEEEEEE!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

wheeeee....heheheee... (a window opens... i think?)

i was interviewed kanina for the opening ng sourcing team dito sa company na pinagtratrabahuan ko... yeah, the sourcing team, where most work are done outside the office space... mostly field work... which somehow it's much more fun and challenging than making calls in a cubicle for 9 hours for five days...

thou the hassle part is the head of that team.. he's quite scary... honest.

pero kaninang in-interview ako... mdyo kinabahan ako.. kasi daming sinusulat nya sa paper ko... hay naku... it gave me the eek-factor.

anyways, if ever nakapasok ako, it's a new leaf (sort-of) and a new challenge... haay buhay... at least, kung pasok ako... i won't be bored during or most of my weekends....

anyways... bahala na si batman dyan!

gotta go back to work... make calls again... hay buhay! :P


laterz!!! c",)

so near yet so far...

remember the x'mas list i made last aug 31? (to check it out... click on this link)

well... i have to accept reality... i'm scratching off the TV.

so far all i can have is the X-Men 3 DVD, PS2 (w/c im targetting to have it by November) and the iPod-video (w/c will still be given by my sister)...

the additional thing (or things) that i'm still planning to get for x'mas (for myself) are these one... (though it's still on planning stage on whether or not i'll really get these... but sana lang makuha ko ang kahit ilan sa mga ito... :P)






-Marvel Gashapon series 4... i saw one @ greenhills and it was priced at P1550... i want one for my figure collection...















- The 500 People You Meet in Hell by Jessica Zafra... yes she's back with a kick-ass book. and i want that one too!!! (somehow, badly want one..)



-these next items are the MARVEL SELECT figures that im sooo wanting to have since it was released last year... i still hope some of them are still in stock... (not shown are Spider-woman figure & the Cloak and Dagger figure)



















-lastly... a home gym equipment... it's been a month since i hadn't been going to the gym... and i miss it so badly... and when i got to see this one @ macro, i want one... 2 thing, it's a good investment and it's just 10K6 bucks!! i really want this one too (that's why i scratched off the TV)






















... i think that adds up the stuff i want for x'mas i really hope at least 3-4 stuff in my total list would be attainable by x'mas day... then again, there's always my bday wish list (hehehe!)




laterz c",)

getting what was lost...

circa 1991-1992... my uncle jim gave this to me... it's the first of my X-MEN comics... it's the #1 issues drawn by Jim Lee... and also one of the famous storyline of the X-Men...

then 1996 our house was burnt down... i lost every collection of comics i have since i was 11 years old... even the one i mentioned a while ago...

fast forward to 2006, October 13... Friday the 13th. more than 10 years since the fire and 14 years since i had that specific X-Men issue... i just bought an original print of X-Men #1... the same one by Jim Lee... at the new comic store near my office... and the best thing is i got it in a very affordable price of P180 bucks!! and it's in good condition... (tangina ASTIG!!)

it gave me a fulfillment in me that i can't understand... though i felt like a missing part was attached to me again... or something that was lost for a long time was back in my system and i'm so happy to have it back... knowing the value of that thing to me.

OMG!!!

anyways.. it made my day and made it everything go well... it kinda boost me up...

happy like a person who was given a 2nd chance on a lot of things... just to improve ones life for the better...


haaay... im just lovin' it! c",)