it ends tonight...

"It Ends Tonight"

(All American Rejects)

Your subtleties

They strangle me

I can't explain myself at all.

And all the wants

And all the needs

All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing

My mind's unweaving

Maybe it's best you leave me alone.

A weight is lifted

On this evening

I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,

It ends tonight

It ends tonight.

A falling star

Least I fall alone.

I can't explain what you can't explain.

You're finding things that you didn't know

I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing

My mind's unweaving

Maybe it's best you leave me alone.

A weight is lifted

On this evening

I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light

It ends tonight,

It ends tonight.

Just a little insight won't make this right

It's too late to fight

It ends tonight,

It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side

It's better than being on your side

It's my fault when your blind

It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside

Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light

It ends tonight,

It ends tonight.

Just a little insight won't make this right

It's too late to fight

It ends tonight,

It ends

When darkness turns to light

It ends tonight,

It ends tonight.

Just a little insight won't make this right

It's too late to fight

It ends tonight,

It ends tonight.

Tonight

Insight

When darkness turns to light,

It ends tonight.

looooong day...

well, by thursday of this week, i'll be signing the new contract with TDS... though i'm still under project-based, which means if the project ends... so do i. and this sux!

another month... but somehow, i'm starting to have doubts with my boss, kurt. kasi i'm having those feelings na i should start looking for a decent job... and kinda makes me paranoid that i myt loss my job before x'mas... ngi!!!

anyways, i just cnt bliv it na it's just tuesday... it's a long day... and a long week so far... i hope things would be a-ok 2mrw... a little bit faster than today.

i guess that's it for now...

but i guess i have to be cool and be more positive than being a negativist about the situation... i must be strong and positive!! (ryt?)

cge... maya nlng uli...


laterz... c",)

make mine MARVEL!!!

now i'm really have to get a PS2 by x'mas... and not just have it on my x'mas wish list (re: my previous blog)

'cuz i just saw the trailer of the upcoming MARVEL ULTIMATE ALLIANCE videogame...

FUCKING AWESOME TRAILER man!!! ASTIG SOBRA!!!

and to know why i'm so crazy about this game... check the videos below...











...i cnt wait to buy this one!!! (buti na rin at malapit na ang pasko!!) c",)

thunder...thundercats...HOOOOO!

this is one of the perks of being an 80's kid... have to go home early to school just to watch thundercats on GMA-7... having to buy a replica of Lion-O's sword and those cool action figures... i remember i had a Lion-O & Mumrra where every time i stick a AAA battery on their backs their eyes glow...

and every time they show mumrra (the ever living) changes into a huge monster always gives me the ick-factor... even until now... gives me the freaks.

oh memories... those were the good cartoons... (tiger shark, he-man, silverhawks, visionaries... and many more)

now i'm the dvd collection of thunderdats to my x'mas wish list...

mamaw...

Waiting...

WAITING (Save your life)
by: Omnisoul

Haven’t you had enough of my brain
It’s on the table I’ve got no more to say
If I bore you get out of my way
This one’s for you
So cut me a break cause I can’t wait
I’m the same I was when we first met
And now I feel you’re pulling away
So just give me the word
And I’ll leave today

But if you want me to I’ll be the one for you
Maybe I can save your life
At times you’ve hated me, ain’t that how love should be
So just let me save your life

There’s a line formed you can’t see
I’ve been waiting you give nothing for free
But there’s a yearning it’s deep and calm
And time has burnt me

So cut me a break cause I can’t wait
I’m the same I was when we first met
And now I feel you’re pulling away
So just give me the word
And I’ll leave today
Yes I’ll leave today

But if you want me to I’ll be the one for you
Maybe I can save your life
At times you’ve hated me, ain’t that how love should be
So just let me save your life

Don’t you know me
I’m helpless without you
I watched you sleep so I could dream of you

If you want me to I’ll be the one for you
Maybe I…
At times you’ve hated me, ain’t that how love should be
So just let me save your life

the calling...

after work, i was just hanging out with my colleagues... 'cuz one of them treated us to some donuts @ go-nuts...

with my stomach still quite full from the really heavy lunch kanina and the chips that i've been munching while making calls, i just went for the go-lite donut...

then after the donut gig, i went back to our building, 'cuz i'm gonna meet up with my barkada before she goes to work... kasi i'll be getting something from her to help my best friend's thesis.

anyways, while strolling the building (w/c is also a mall), i got to stop by at mini-stop... and somehow, i saw the fridge full of booze & beers... (see attached picture)

and for no apparent reason, i stared at it as if i was looking at a very interesting item... and the way i stare at them is the same way i look during visit at museums... there's the fascination and also the calling to buy them and drink them.

there was an amount of saliva that ran thru my mouth when i was quite staring at them...

then it ran thru my head the memories of me and my friends... the inuman we do during class (when we would cut classe to drink and return to class a little but tipsy) and after class (brickhouse, at jobi's place, at g & mouses house... my house)...

a whole lot of memories ran thru that 3 mins of staring at the fridge of booze...

then i later i got to meet up with my barkada... then went home.

right now, i made a small drink... just a small glass of pepsi & gin...

and i'm drinking this for the memories of my friends... and a realization that things are quite different from what we were during college...


...too bad, at wala akong load kanina... i should have texted them and had an inuman... but i think it isn't time yet. 'cuz one thing, i still have no enough money to buy even just a can of beer...

anyways, there's always a next time...


i think that it for now... i have to finish this drink first...

then sleep.

nyt! c",)

Shifting Sand

Shifting Sand

Sometimes I believe all the lies
So I can do the things I should despise
And every day I am swayed
By whatever is on my mind

I hear it all depends on my faith
So I'm feeling precarious
The only problem I have with these mysteries
Is they're so mysterious

And like a consumer I've been thinking
If I could just get a bit more
More than my 15 minutes of faith,
Then I'd be secure

(Chorus)
My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace

I've begged you for some proof
For my Thomas eyes to see
A slithering staff, a leperous hand
And lions resting lazily

A glimpse of your back-side glory
And this soaked altar going ablaze
But you know I've seen so much
I explained it away

Chorus

Waters rose as my doubts reigned
My sand-castle faith, it slipped away
Found myself standing on your grace
It'd been there all the time

(Chorus repeated)
Stand on grace

why worry?

... after reading this, it gave me some perspectives on how i see things... it's kinda funny that the insecurities a person can experience... hahaha!! life and love is a very funny thing. they can make you fill the pain then laugh it out after the turmoil... :P

WHATA!!!

Your Element Is Water

A bit of a contradiction, you can seem both lighthearted and serious.That's because you're good at going with the flow - but you also are deep. Highly intuitive, you tune in to people's emotions and moods easily.You are able to tap into deep emotional connections and connect with others. You prefer a smooth, harmonious life - but you can navigate your way around waves.You have a knack for getting people to get along and making life a little more peaceful.

What's" Your Element?

again... im water?!? i was hoping for air... anyways nuthing to do but to try out the funny test online... hehehe :P

hmm... maybe it's a sign to wash away all things that bug in my head... then coming out clean. (hhmmm... oo nga 'no... pwede!)

again... next time uli.

laterz!!! c",)

i'm cyclops!?!?!

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause. You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them. Power: force beams from your eyes

Which of the X-Men Are You?

i can't believe it!?! i'm cyclops... i was hoping more of a Phoenix or Magneto... not someone wimpy mutant who died at the 2nd part of the movie... anyways, this test isn't psychtest-friend... who am i kidding anyways! hahaha!! :P sometime i'm a wimp too... it's part of human nature (sometimes...)

haha... oh well... wala kasing magawa ngayon eh... :P

nways, yon lng... laterz!! c",)

x'mas wish list 2006...

well in a few months time, christmas season is back... and by 2mrw... it's the 'ber' months already...

so here's my x'mas wish list...!

- an Ipod video (w/c my sister will give it to me just in time for the holiday season... whooppee!!)













- a PS2.... the slim type ('cuz it's been years that i've wanting to have this console... and now, i have the savings, i cud have my own PS2!!!! bwahahaha!!)













- a new TV (not just an ordinary TV.... but a flat screen TV!!! its a sony wega... i just saw the price a few weeks back... and somehow it's calling me... and with the price of 10K, who wouldn't say 'no' to that!!!! hahaha!!!)













- lastly... X-Men: The Last Stand dvd (though, it will be out by October... i'm gonna buy it as part of my x'mas wish list... hehehe!!!)
















...oh yeah... somewhat of a good news, i might be staying @ TDS until the x'mas season... that's why i'm bold enough to plan these kinds of stuff for me this coming yuletide season... hohoho on that!! :P (ititiis ko nlng itong making calls... ok na rin naman eh... the colleagues at works are quite a-ok na rin eh...)

ayon... that's my list so far... sana makuha ko lahat ang mga iyon!! c",)

anyways, just got my salary... mdyo mababa, pero ox lng... i treated my family with pizza nung pag-uwi ko kanina... though, i wanna treat my best friend... kasi parang mataggal na rin kami di nagkita... hehehe... 2mrw, before i got to work, i'll be depositing some to the bank. i'm thinking 30% of it will go there na muna, tapos the next sweldo, 40% naman... (wish ko lng... :P)

ayon... cge, yon na muna...


laterz!!! c",)

thank god for broadband...

it's official... i'm using broadband connection here at home. yehey!! i'm online again here at home... i could start blogging regularly again...


anyways, 2mrw is a new change for me... well more of a 'go-back' thing... 'cuz i'll be starting to drive my mom again before i go to work... w/c is kinda sux, in some other level... kasi gastos sa gas at sa oras ko... but it's too early to tell... i'll know it by 2mrw morning.

hay buhay... gago kasi yung driver namin eh... such an a-hole eh...


nways... so far im doing good... so far... though i'm quite a-ok, i'm still doing the 'one-a-day' gig with what i'm doing...

i think so far... hehehe that's it na muna...

blog ya laterz!!! :P

complicated as it is... difficult pa rin... :P

I am a difficult person… well, I know I’m a complicated person, more on the eccentric side (hehehe), but I just realized that I am a difficult person… and I thank my friends, especially the people who are close to me (if you guys got to read this… well, you know who you are naman eh…), thanks talaga for sticking up on my side and being there when I need you, kahit makulit ako.

Well, recent events got me think through and somehow analyzed myself again… and yeah, when I was listening to the radio a while ago about people being difficult… well, yeah, I guess I’m one of those people who are difficult on certain times (or most of some times… labo ‘no? hehehe) anyways… I really thank my friends for being my anchor and being there when I need them, even when sometimes I can’t directly say what my concerns are… (thanks bro! Thank you mga berks!!)

Nways, I’m quite bored again here at work… well more of sleepy than bored (but then again, sleepiness is the result of being bored…) the pool sucks (again). Though, it’s a Friday today, another weekend of rest for me… though, I’m still thinking if I should go to the gym this weekend…para at least matanggal ‘tong stresses from this week… tska sana ok na rin yung gym buddy ko para sabay uli kami, busy kasi palagi eh… :P

Feeling ko, I’ve been through a lot this past few days… or it is just me being down and stressed out… lots of thing in my mind and most of these things aren’t really suppose I should think about it… oh men… me and my insecurieties… it’s really one of those moments that I really want to get out and just vent off my stresses… buti nga at weekend na uli.


Oh yeah, on the lighter side of things… I’ll be having an iPod Video by x’mas, ‘cuz my sister from the US promised it as a x’mas gift… yehey on that! So that means, I’ll just have to save for a PS2 and a new TV for myself… hay… the perks of being single and earning for myself… hehehe :p

O cya… iyon na po muna… lately, I’m posting very complicated stuff on my blogs… maybe it’s just the season to be difficult… but hey!! Thanks guys for being there!!


Laterz… c",)


*I’m good naman talaga eh… :P

fsdjkhgfyhwahfhcgh!!!@@!!!

this stinks!!!

6 passed applicants for 2mrw... my quota so far is low... man!!! fuck it!!

it's boring talaga at nakaka-asar!!!


putang ina tong mga pool na to... grr!!



paksyet!!! punyemas na pool... tapos mga bad comm at bastos pa yung mga tinatawagan ko... sarap uapakan eh!!! shet sila!!!!


grrr....!!!

WHY WHY… fucking WHY?

This is the question that runs in my head right now. Yeah, It’s juys one word, but is has a lot of impact in my current stat lately… WHY?

Anyways, I’m here right now at work, doing the regular routine I’m doing for the pass 2 months… making calls. So far I have 5 passed applicants sched for 2mrw, 5 more to go…

Anyways, I can’t understand why would people who answers my call thinks I’m calling from Italy… or somewhere far away from this country… kinda makes me laugh for a moment… in some ways, pampatanggal ng stress at boredom dito sa work.

Hay naku… nakakabato na talaga ngayon… so far I’m calling from a grad-list… and so far puro bad comm at wrongs #s ang nangyayari… though, it’s godd for call-outs, pero I wanna accomplish my quota eh… (sarcastic laugh)

So far, I’m planning not to go to gym fo a while… WHY? ‘cuz of some reasons na I don’t wanna spit it out na muna dita sa blog… pero later on I’ll write it (probably pag naka-broadband na yung bahay) …no offense to my best friend, but I have to think some stuff and asses myself again. Tska di naman siya naggi-gym na rin eh…

Sighs… boring talaga ‘tong araw na ‘to… plus the fact na wala akong pera (nxt week pa yung payday) at walang load ang celfone ko… makes it more of a challenge to me to be happy for the whole day.

To be honest I wanna cry out thing right now, but I can’t do that… not yet. I wanna go up to a roof top or somewhere high, bast yung mahangin na lugar para to vent off… just like what I did during my college times…

A lot of WHYs in my head right now… so far, I do wanna answer them, but I can’t right now… why? ‘cuz it will just hurt my head right now and lost my focus for the day…

Too many WHYs… sighs!!

bro...dude... HELP!!!!

“I think so far I got everything that I need. We’ll evaluate you application together with other applicants that we are screening right now. If you qualify, you’ll get a call not later than 12noon tomorrow. So we can give you the details needed. If you didn’t get the call, that means other applicant closely met the requirements and we’ll keep your file in active status for the pooling of other position/vacancies.”


This is what I always say whenever I feel to fail an applicant or if the applicant is really bad in talking english. In some ways, it’s like some sort of my ‘power-tripping’ thing just to blow off some steam… or just plain ‘ol power-tripping… hehehe (with an evil tone)

ANYWAYS, I’m not doing well… to be honest. I’ve been experiencing a lot of panic-anxiety attacks… and this time in other aspect as well (ex. emotional & physical aspects) and it’s making me paranoid, scared, angry, pissed off and down right sad lately…

One thing that runs in my mind is the current job I’m into… yeah, I’m doing good… but somehow I’m not having that much fun-FUN… I hate being stuck in just one place all the time… kaya when the eveluation comes-in… it might give me help to decide on whether or not I should move-on or stay.

The other thing is quite more emotional…yeah, aside from what happened last week with one of my colleagues (RE: saying the B word…) there’s the “thing” that bugs me again… I thought it was dormant (or died a year ago)… I was wrong… and plus that fact that things around me (and myself as well) has changed… it’s kicking back again… and I hate this feeling… I wanna talk it out to my best friend about it, cuz he’s the only one who knows it, I’m quite afraid that he might get mad at me (or something painful for us)…

Oh men, this fuck things up!!! (SIGHS!!)

ANYWAYS, I’m here at working right now, just had my lunch… and yeah, the same old routine for the past 2 months…yeah, I’ve been working here for 2 months… same place, same routine… interviewing potentials applicants for this call-center. Hay buhay…

I miss a lot of my old life… though, I’m really excited about the new things in me… it’s really the adapting & adjusting that makes it hard… oh men… too many complex thoughts in my head…

One thing I wanna do right now… talk to my best friend. Talk about the things that bugs me… because I know it’s him who could help me out. Bro if you are reading this… I need to talk to you… soon… help me out… I’ve given you the letter 3-months ago… I need your help. (there… that’s my SOS)


Hay… I think thats it for now… HELP!!


Laterz…

something new...

Right now every thing’s quite a-ok… I think.

The damage-control I did was quite smooth… I think.

But it’s too early to tell… I think so… right?



Yet still, im somehow adapting to what is to be in a working environment… it’s really a challenge for me… big time. And it’s also something new. I guess this is my new fight.

Student life is over… now is the time to face what reality is… and so far, I suck in it. Hehehe

I have to stumble down hard… again. But hey!! I tend to rise and face my fears away… I’ve always been a survivor… I guess I can withstand this one… and I have to.

Sigh… kaya ko ‘to!!!

Ako pa!! c”,)

Anyways, I think that’s it na muna…

Laterz…. :P

currently working...

yes... right now im working here in my desk... making calls / recruiting people from baguio... anyways, so far, im getting a lot of CCs (can't contacts)... mdyo stressful na hinde... pero ox lang naman...

nways... gulat ko nga na nakakapag-blog ako dito sa office desk ko...

hay naku.... gusto ko na rin minsan umuwi with this crazy-rainy weather... sighs.

back to what's bugging me lately... yeah, my insecurities are somehow knocking again... but hey... im not giving in naman eh... hehehe! :P

nways (uli!)... balik na muna ako on making my calls...

later uli...


LATERz!! c",)


**yeah, im still cool... :P

ang tagal...

it's been a long time since i've blog something here... well, so far, so good... i guess...

i'll be finding some time blog some stuff later... 'cuz there are, lately, thing that bugs me... yeah.. i just have to release it through my blogs...

anyways, im here at the patry of e-tel... having my lunch break...

kaya, once i get online at home... i'll be able to update my blog regularly, i hope on that...

neways... yon n muna...


i miss blogging... to many thing to blog... cge, catch-up na lang muna ako later...


laterz... c",)