March 24, 2004 / 5:45am

i can't sleep properly the whole night... kaya naabutan kong umulan ng arnd 3am... and it rained again 30 mins after...

shit!! i am so down and falling... i am so weak and i feel it that i am getting weaker everyday. i feel that my heart is being ripped off slowly... i wanna bleed myself right now... i hate feeling this way... and i wanna fix things up with jax. i wanna talk to jax, ask for forgiveness, and be cool na! i wish cool a kami ng best friend ko... i know i have been a very bad person and an awful friend to him lately... and I AM SO SORRY. i hope he'll forgive me and somehow help me too. i can't stand this feelings anymore!! ang sakit, sobrang sakit!!

but im not giving up!! but the pain is so devastating... para i wanna give up... but i won't give up on jax...