March 23, 2004 / 5:54am

im sick... im having the colds. because iv been hurting myself, thus i get sick...

why are there monsters in our minds?
because the monster that i have, hurt my very best friend... and somehow, destroyed the friendship... and so far i don't know how to deal / face this monster. but i thing is for sure, it will be a rough fight. because i want this monster to be put to sleep.

it's exactly 2 weeks and 2 days... no jax. i haven't speak to him, or him to me.
i hate it!! it's really hard to live normally, knowing that i hurt not just my best friend, but also myself. and within those weeks, i have been smoking... and to sum it up, i hate smoking... and now, im smoking, just to hurt myself... also an escape, a temporarly escape... but there is alwasy a price... sabog ang utak ko, sakit ng ulo ko, and the nicotine is consuming my body system.

hay naku...

i just hate my life lately...