March 23, 2004 / 5:35pm

saw jax at national book store. i freaked out!! but i did what a person who doesn't want to give up the friendship... i said "hi!"...
sobrang kinakabahan ako... so far, he is still mad at me, and halatang umiiwas pa rin sya. can't blame him... but i saw his extreme saddness on his face.
the thing that i hate is to see my closest friends to be sad... and that really hurts me!! add to that, im the one who hurt him.

i feel so weak (sobrang nanghihina!)... i wanna bleed to death right now. i wish everything didn't happened the way it is right now.

i am puking everything right now and i feel like im loosing everything...

i miss him so much, and i won't give up on our friendship... i hate it that it takes time to fix up things... but i don't have a choice, i have to face this (and i wanna face this!)... and i hope ging was right, that ill be stronger, and hopefully wiser and also be more confident....

im crying right now... i feel like my heart is stopping to beat... anyways, i still won't give up on jax!! even if it takes my whole life to fix it...

='(