feels like...

... i feel like giving up since there's really nothing good going on with everything in and around me.

like all things aren't falling into the right place for me and it sucks.

worst thing is i'm being succumb by it. making me not the "usual-me" but more of a "negative-me". and it's healthy at all.

i know that these things are caused by my past actions and that i'm really facing its consequences.

i'm broke. i'm loveless. i'm fat. i'm unhealthy. i suck in all i do. i such a loser in all aspect right now.

and all of those things mentioned, i do get it and i'm really hating it already.

like if this is all just a punishment and a "epiphany" to the things i did before. i'm sorry and lessoned learned from it.

but please... if somebody there, up there... if you're listening... i'm starting to not like my situation right now. and somehow, i want out of this shit hole. but i don't know how to stand or rise up again...

oh shit. i'm really in deep shit and i need help but don't know how to ask the right person or the proper way of asking help.


ok... im typing jibberish right now... have to contemplate some more things later.