why oh why... tsk tsk

hmm... the students haven't started to text me.

this is bad. really, REALLY BAD.

Bad in a sense that we can't do time-travel and make it all work right. I know there's a solution on this one, get the list of the 10 and call them to remind them. But I have other priorities to do, but I guess I should try to juggle things out and fix it.

Fix it. That's 2 words that somehow I'm not good at all. But let's see if I can fix this... w/o the help or assistance of others. It's my mess after all, right?

But still, after all this is done, I'm still going to kill Pong Aguila on this one. hahaha. No worries Pong, we're still good friends, but I'm really going to kill you for this one. :P

Oh well, it's almost 9pm, I need to heat the water, I'll be leaving at around 10pm.

later.

loosing it again...

i guess it's another re-run of a quite depressing episode for me.

right now i can't think straight.

like i know what i will do and somehow it's organized but i just don't have the drive right now to work... like all my strength to go and work just wore off out of a sudden.

well not really out of a sudden... i was just demotivated by a lot of stuff lately.

w/c is making me hard to cope up.

to be honest, i know (really know) what to do... BUT i just don't have the motivation anymore to do it as of the moment.

people may see it that i might be avoiding the work task but it's not that.

just too many things in my head and somehow, i'm just standing there and doing nothing... like a catatonic state... but i'm aware of the things that are happening, i'm just not moving to doing some actions.




...ok, burn-out is at it again.

i give up. i'm tired of this so-called day job. it's not helping me at all to cope up. in fact it's more on pulling me down, morally.


i. give. up.

happy @ work?

...'nuff said. i'm just not motivated to go to work lately. with the things that is happening there, i'm hoping i can still see the brighter side of things.

burning responsibility...

(click photo to enlarge)

ok ok... i can say that i'm a responsible person. but the comic-strip above says about the current project that i'm handling here at work. so for those who are familiar to my line of work and the current project i'm handling... the strip is like what i'm in with HRO-C classes.

i may be acting like i'm used to it or getting the hang of it... but this responsibility BURNS!!!

wrongers...

what's wrong with me?

sometimes I'm not sure what the heck I'm doing with stuff around me.

I'm not even sure if what I'm doing is right or am I doing something that hurts others, basically if I'm doing something wrong.

well, i hate it when i'm just being paranoid with the thought. but if it's happening and i'm hearing stuff, it makes me wanna punch that person who said it and ask for some proves if what i'm doing is really wrong. because it's really disappoint that i'll know it after i've done the thing a lot of times in the past.

so, what the heck is wrong with me?

am i doing something wrong? if i am and it's been a while, there should be a negative effect by now right? but i don't see anything wrong or awkward, right?

why would they tend to mess-up with my head right now, i'm not in the right situation to be messed-up by these shits.

i got more things to focus, but this... this stuff i'm getting at work... it's really something.

oh well, i guess i need to "compensate" with some stuff on my day-job and with my eca's...

i guess less income for me this 3 months... sighs.


anyway, have to device another gameplan for the next days to come.


laterz....

i think i survived... i think.

i'm tired... it's been a long week.

to many things done. and i think i'll be home waaaay late. but i guess it was worth it.

anyway, i'll try to post some pictures if i have the time later when i wake-up from resting from this uber-tiring week.

what i learned from this one... is that sometime i need to stand and believe on the integrity of the standards given to you. but when the same source tends to 'tweek' it... i was able to bend but not bend all the way. just to keep a firm stand too.

anyway too many things are still in my head. and i'm waaay tired. i just need to rest after prepping and cleaning up these stuff here at work.

sighs.

oh well... it's another day of learning.

laterz.

erratic attacks

what am i feeling right now?

well, i am having erratic feeling right now, with what's going on in my life... lots of erratic feelings... that would really contradict each other.

i just don't know how to fix it.

and the part that i hate is that, it's all on me... just me to fix. which is really logical since it's my life and not others.

so the question in my head that always asks me is, 'how do i fix myself, all by myself?'

well, it's starting to affect people whom i see close to me.

and somehow, in any point, trust can be shaken as well.



i guess there i was able to blog-out what i have not blogged or blurted out since i stopped blogging for more than months already.


now... just now, while i am typing this entry it kind of felt good. but i know i am not yet out of the dark place just yet. it may take time but at least i getting started to move for the better good. well i hope it's for the better good for myself and not the other way around, which is bad.

oh well, i guess that's it for now.

maybe soon i can blog-up again for updates on my so-called-life...


five by five.

why oh why!?!

ok... after 1 year of putting an entry here at my blogger... i'm back.

well, not sure if i'm going to put a lot of my stuff here, but i will put stuff here for sure.

anyways, here i am, at the office still... i was about to leave at 5:30pm a while ago, but for the things that are happening here at the office lately... i was asked to stay and sit for another meeting with the management... probably to brainstorm more for ideas on how to get the company's ball roll more since 2008 is near to end...

anyways, again... i'm kinda bored right now... like lately i'm really not motivated to report for work... i just want to rest...

REST... that's a four letter-word that i haven't experienced it lately. the last time that i had it was when i was in HK last May... that was 4 months ago.

oh well... i guess it's really one of those days that i'm pushing myself to the limit of something "dedicated" for the company... i just hope we're gonna get something good in return...

anyways... since i'm thinking about the the strss of work, i might as well think of very good reward for myself... hmm... but i think that may do some deep thinking and put it on the upcoming blogs (or LJs)...

oh well... i guess i just have to wait for the meeting to start by thinking first... or just do nothing... haaay

sighs..